


Rules of the Road

by Gort



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Action/Adventure, Buffalo, F/M, Lava lizards, Road Trips, Season/Series 05, Sharing a Room, Spike in a Hoodie, national parks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-02-08 13:44:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 50,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12865767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gort/pseuds/Gort
Summary: S5, picks up at the end of Intervention. Buffy needs someone who can do two things: help keep Dawn safe from Glory and drive a car. Unfortunately, only one person she knows fits the bill—and he’s a vampire. Now she’s on the world’s strangest road trip with Spike and her sister, and her simple plan is getting turned on its head.Beta'd by the fantastic and supportive Sunalso.***permanent wip***





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> What's that, you're just dying to read yet another good old-fashioned road trip story? Well, do I have something for you!  
> This will be updated fairly regularly. Includes long drives, silly hats, and wildlife (both real and demonic). 
> 
> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Buffy had no idea why she was kissing him. She knew it was wrong to encourage his sick crush and there were a million other ways she could have shown Spike her appreciation that she wouldn’t have to edit out of the conversation with her Watcher later, but she just kind of…wanted to. Maybe he wasn’t the only one who was sick.

The memories of their previous kisses, from that insane, spell-induced night, lit up somewhere in her lizard brain as she relearned how his mouth felt against hers. It went on longer than she’d expected, but she couldn’t bring herself to pull away. His lips were soft and cool, though more swollen than she remembered. He’d gotten so hurt to protect Dawn. She didn’t understand it in the slightest.

Even though he had to be in pain, Spike was gentle with her—with what he thought was the robot, she corrected herself. He opened his mouth slightly, deepening the kiss, and she really wanted to nibble on his lower lip, but would that give her away? She resisted the urge to slide her hands into his messy hair, even if it was tempting. She had no idea how the robot would have touched him. Would it have acted passionately or responded to his gentleness in kind? And she really shouldn’t be trying to figure out how to touch him at all.

He kissed her like a familiar lover, like he intimately knew every dip and curve of her lips. It surprised her, in a way. Sure, he’d made a creepy sex-robot that looked like her, but she’d figured it was for one thing only. She hadn’t imagined he’d spent hours kissing it. Apparently, she’d been wrong.

Confusion and guilt swirled deep in her belly as Spike wrenched his mouth away from hers. There was also a tiny bit of heat, warming up her insides and making her heart trip along a little faster, that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. She tamped down on it ruthlessly. She didn’t have time for foolishness, not when Dawn’s life was at stake.

Buffy stared at Spike for a long moment after he broke the kiss, trying to read the expression hidden behind his injuries. She probably shouldn’t be disappointed that he’d figured it out so quickly, though it was kinda nice to know she didn’t kiss like a robot.

Sometimes she wondered if the last few months had stripped her of her ability to be passionate about anything other than slaying…but she wasn’t going to think about Riley anymore. He’d made his choice. And she needed to make hers. Glory was getting dangerously close to figuring out the truth. Spike’s face was proof of that.

Her strange trip to the desert had raised more questions than it had answered, but there was one thing she knew for sure: if death was her gift, she was going to make damn sure that all the people around her were safe—and as far away from Sunnydale as possible. The hellgod wasn’t messing around anymore. Spike looked worse than she’d ever seen him, and Buffy had been beating him up for years.

Spike finally opened his mouth. “Why?” His voice was hoarse, as though speaking was painful. She imagined even the parts of him she couldn’t see were covered in bruises, and worse.

Buffy shrugged, not really sure how to answer a question she didn’t know the answer to herself. “Are you sure you want to stay here?” she asked instead.

Spike slumped back against the sarcophagus like he was too exhausted to remain upright. “I’ll be fine.”

Buffy bit her lip. She should probably just leave him there, except that she had kind of rescued him (even if it was because she thought she was going to have to kill him) and she felt a little responsible for his current state.

Fine, a lot responsible.

But she hadn’t asked him to suffer for her or for Dawn. He was a very confusing man. Vampire. Not a man. She couldn’t forget that.

“Okay.” Buffy nodded. She wouldn’t argue with him now, not before she talked to her Watcher. “Just…be careful?” Spike appeared even more confused than he had when she’d kissed him, but she wasn’t ready to share her half-formed plan just yet.

She left the quiet crypt, standing for a moment in the afternoon sunlight. She sent up a silent plea to the Powers, who seemed to be seriously falling down on the job lately, to give her some kind of sign if she was going off the deep end. Spike might not be who she’d expected to be backing her up in this fight, but she could use all the help she could get. He’d thrown his lot in with her in a rather spectacular fashion, while simultaneously pissing her off beyond belief.

She almost smiled. Typical Spike.

The birds were chirping away in the trees and leaves rustled overhead. The ground was still muddy from a recent rain. This was her town; her world. She wasn’t going to give Glory the chance to take it away. Buffy walked slowly toward the cemetery gates, her mind a whirl of possibilities.

***

“Buffy,” Giles had been polishing his glasses for nearly two minutes straight. Buffy waited impatiently, trying not to wiggle like a disobedient child in her chair. She probably should have insisted they move to Giles’ living room for this conversation, but her Watcher had been researching at the table he also used as his desk and she’d just taken the seat opposite him out of habit. Right about now, though, she was feeling like she was back in the high school library. “I really don’t see how this could possibly be a solution.”

“It’s the only thing that’s made sense in a long time, Giles.”

Giles made a small, annoyed noise. “Really, I-“

“You didn’t see him just now.”

“I was there when we rescued him!”

“He’s a vampire, Giles, fast healing? But he looks worse than he did before. Glory seriously did a number on him.”

“I see. So you feel, just because of this, ah, incident, that he’s trustworthy now? Just like that?”

“No,” Buffy said softly. She stared down at her knees. “Not just like that.”

Images of Spike’s bruised and swollen face flitted across her mind, followed closely by all the times he’d watched out for Dawn in his own weird way, and capped off by his seemingly earnest, if incredibly bizarre, declaration of…feelings. Buffy had wracked her brain for any way he could possibly benefit from being tortured by Glory but was coming up blank. He couldn’t have expected anyone to come to his rescue, so why wouldn’t he tell the crazy hellgod who the key was? There was absolutely no reason for him to protect Dawn unless he somehow really did care. Which was supposed to be impossible. The entire idea was incredibly unnerving, and she was really trying not to think about it too hard.

She glanced up at her Watcher and attempted to put her jumbled thoughts in order. “I know he can be, uh…a pain.” Giles snorted at the understatement, but Buffy pressed on. “But this is too important, Giles. Dawn is too important. I need all the help I can get, and he’s earned his second or…” Buffy frowned, trying to count. “Fourth? Whatever number we’re on, chance.”

“Buffy.” Giles gazed at her sympathetically. “I understand he’s occasionally been helpful with Dawn, and that must lift a great burden, but you aren’t thinking clearly right now. With your mother gone-”

“No,” Buffy said, stiffening her spine. “I think this is the clearest I’ve been in a long time.”

“Surely, there are other ways we can protect Dawn from Glory without upending all our lives.”

“None that end well, Giles. If you can think of a better plan, I’m all ears.”

Giles was silent for a long time, gazing at her. She stared steadily back. “I still think this is a terrible idea,” he finally grumbled, frowning at his clean glasses. 

“Noted.” Buffy stood up. “Scoobie meeting at my house after dark? I need everyone on board for this to work.”

Giles nodded, his face impassive. “I’ll call the others.”


	2. You Are Here

Buffy found herself back in the graveyard as the sun was going down, although at least she wasn’t dressed like the stupid robot this time. She’d had to take a shower and dig out her favorite leather pants to stop the icky feelings wearing those ultra-girly clothes had given her before swinging by the butcher’s shop for blood. She wondered if that was how Spike wished she was, all sweet and perky and Stepford. She was pretty sure she’d never been that nice to anyone in her whole life.

She stopped in front of the door to Spike’s crypt and took a breath. Hopefully she could channel a little Stepford right now, since she really needed to not lose her temper and there was nothing that made her lose her temper faster than Spike.

She lifted her hand to knock before rolling her eyes and pushing the door open. It wasn’t like she’d ever bothered being polite before. This whole horribly-injured-because-of-her-sister thing had seriously thrown her off her game. “Spike?” She couldn’t see him in the gathering gloom and wondered if he’d managed to drag himself downstairs.

“Slayer?” Spike appeared behind the stone coffin he’d been lying on earlier. “Thought you might have been someone a little, uh, less welcome.”

Buffy winced at the sight of his face. His bruises were turning some spectacular colors. She lifted the bag in her hand. “I brought you some blood.” She took a step in his direction, idly noticing the way he was propping himself against the sarcophagus. His face apparently wasn’t the only thing in bad shape.

Spike stared at her, his mouth slightly open. “You…what?”

“You probably shouldn’t sleep here tonight.”

“What?” he repeated faintly.

Buffy bit her lip and moved close enough to make out the blue of his eye that wasn’t swollen shut. She’d discovered sometime last year that he was easier to read if she could see his eyes, though how she’d come to that realization she had no idea. “I was thinking you could stay at my house.” Her heart beat a little faster when she realized how that sounded. “In the basement,” she clarified hastily.

Spike’s one good eye blinked at her, bewildered. “Am I dust?”

Buffy smiled, unable to help herself. “No.”

“Close to dust?”

“Stop being so melodramatic. Glory knows where you live and you’re in no shape to fight back. It’s just for tonight.”

“What happens tomorrow?” Spike limped to the end of the sarcophagus and stood there like he was gathering his strength. Buffy tucked herself under his arm before she could change her mind and helped him towards the door. He leaned heavily against her, though his grip on her shoulder was tentative.

“We come back for your things,” she said. She hoped Giles had managed to round everyone up for the meeting.

“I’m definitely dust.” Spike was sounding more like his old self.

“Shut up and keep moving.”

“You’re the worst nursemaid in the universe, Slayer.”

Buffy pulled the crypt door closed behind them and steered him towards her house. She had to force herself not to move too fast. She could feel Spike listing to one side like one of his legs wasn’t up to bearing his weight. “Hey, remember who brought you blood, mister.”

“I’d like to request something tastier than pig’s blood if I’m about to get staked.” His voice was strained, but strong. He’d be fine, she thought with relief. He just needed a little time to heal and then he could help her keep Dawn safe.

“I have a plan.”

“And you need me to distract the hellbitch some more? I’m going to need more than one night. Got a leg that’s being problematic.”

Buffy stopped and looked at him. His one visible eye met hers squarely. He was serious, she realized. He was offering himself up as bait. Even after… She shook her head as he watched her warily. “No, I need you to drive.”

Spike blinked at her in surprise. “What?”

“I want to tell everyone at once, okay? Let’s get you back to my house.”

“Okay.” He still had a stunned look on his face, almost like she’d kissed him again. A warm feeling blossomed in her chest. Maybe a hell-god was after her sister, but at least Buffy wasn’t fighting her alone.  

***

“Buffy.” Giles opened the front door as she helped Spike up the porch steps. Her Watcher’s face was grim. “Everyone’s here, and Glory’s minions seem to have gone to ground for now, but I’m still a bit…concerned. Are you certain about this?” His eyes flicked to Spike.

Buffy tried to blow a strand of hair out of her face. She had one hand full of Spike’s dinner and her other hand fisted into the back of his shirt, trying to keep him from falling over. “Can I get this dead weight in the house first?”

“’m trying, Slayer,” Spike ground out. He’d leaned on her more and more as they walked to her house, and she could feel him trembling with the effort of keeping himself upright.

“I know, Spike,” she said. “Come in.” She dragged him over the threshold and into the living room. Giles shooed an annoyed Xander and Anya off the couch so Buffy could drop Spike there. She breathed a sigh of relief. The vampire had sprawled face first into the cushions and wasn’t moving. Xander opened his mouth but Buffy put up a hand. “Hang on.”

She went to the kitchen and poured some of the blood into a mug she was so never going to use again, sticking it in the microwave to heat before putting the rest of the blood in the fridge. Dawn appeared in the doorway, her arms crossed and her face set in a scowl. “Why is Spike here? I thought he was a bad influence or whatever. I guess it’s only okay to invite him in if you want to?”

“He’s hurt,” Buffy said as calmly as she could manage. “So he’s going to stay here tonight. Can you get the cot set up downstairs?”

Dawn hesitated for a moment, her scowl slipping. “Fine, but only because it’s for Spike, not because you asked.”

Buffy decided she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. “Thank you,” she said. Dawn gave a regal nod and disappeared down the basement steps. The microwave beeped.

Buffy went back into the living room and handed Spike the mug of warm blood. The vampire had managed to get himself into a sitting position and was leaning against one arm of the couch. He took a deep drink and sank back into the cushions, eyeing her curiously. In the soft light, she could clearly see the dark purple color of his bruises with their sickly green edges, and the dried blood still crusted along the cuts on his face.

Giles was sitting in the desk chair, watching them both, and everyone else was scattered around the room, looking from the vampire to Buffy and back again. Buffy sat on the other end of the couch and waited for Dawn.

“Buffy,” Giles started, sounding impatient. She held up a hand, hearing her sister’s heavy tread on the basement stairs. How Dawn always managed to sound two hundred pounds heavier than she actually was, Buffy would never know. Dawn came barreling into the living room and stopped short at the sight of Spike’s injuries, her eyes going wide.

“Oh,” Dawn said. She glanced worriedly at Buffy, who shrugged.

“Hey, bit.” Spike said tiredly, trying to smile at her. It only made him look worse. Dawn sat between him and Buffy on the couch and Giles narrowed his eyes.

“So,” Buffy said, drawing everyone’s attention before her Watcher could comment. “I’ve decided it’s time to leave.”

“What?” Xander said in astonishment.

“What!” Dawn exclaimed shrilly.

Willow and Tara exchanged glances and Anya looked bored, which Buffy was a little grateful for. At least Xander’s girlfriend wouldn’t be putting up a fight, she hoped.

“Good.” Spike nodded, sounding stronger.

“Buffy, I really don’t think...” Giles began.

“Giles, you said there’s a window, right? For the ritual? No key during the window, no ritual. Simple math.”

Giles polished his glasses, frowning at the clear lenses. “I can see how that would be tempting but-”

“But what?” Buffy asked impatiently. “Once the window passes we can get back to figuring out how to kill Glory, but right now Dawn is my priority. We’re leaving, hopefully by tomorrow night.” She glanced at Spike. “Do you think you can drive by tomorrow?”

“Shouldn’t be a problem, Slayer.”

“Uh, I say again: what?” Xander stared at Buffy in disbelief and pointed at Spike. “First of all, why is he even here, and second, why would he be driving?”

Buffy ignored Xander. “Tomorrow then.” She turned back to her Watcher. “We can’t all leave at once, it’ll be too obvious.”

Giles sighed heavily. “Agreed. We’ll have to set a schedule. Perhaps coordinate it with our usual comings and goings so as not to arouse suspicion. You and Dawn are likely to be the most closely watched.” 

“I’ll figure something out,” Buffy said.

“Perhaps I can pick you both up at-”

Buffy shook her head. “Not you, Giles. We need as many distractions as possible. The more directions we go in, the harder it will be for anyone to track us down. Spike and I will stay with Dawn.”

“What?” Xander exclaimed again. Willow was frowning now, too. “Wait a minute, is this robot-Buffy?” He pointed accusingly at Buffy and turned towards Willow.

Buffy caught Tara’s sympathetic glance and rolled her eyes with a small, grateful smile. “No, and seriously, is it that hard to tell us apart?”

“Only if she’s a total bitch,” Dawn muttered.

Buffy narrowed her eyes at her sister.

Giles cleared his throat, drawing everyone’s attention. “I really have to disagree, Buffy. Spike is not-”

“He’s with me and Dawn.” Buffy repeated firmly. “Willow, can you set up a way for us to e-mail each other?”

“Uh, sure, Buffy, no problem,” Willow replied, her eyes darting from Buffy to the vampire and back. “But…Spike? Are you sure? Maybe Tara and I can go with you instead. I’ve been doing some more advanced spellwork and-”

“No.” Buffy shook her head. “Glory’s already narrowed down her search to us. I need to concentrate on protecting Dawn, not everyone else. Spike can handle himself.” She wouldn’t swear to it, but she thought for a moment that she saw Spike smile into his mug of blood. Willow frowned, but didn’t protest further.

“I still don’t see how running away could possibly help this situation,” Giles said in irritation.

“Think of it as a tactical retreat,” Buffy said, shrugging. This time she was sure Spike was smiling.

“Um.” Dawn raised her hand. “Where are we going?”

“Wherever we want.” Dawn opened her mouth but Buffy held up one hand to stop her. “We’ll talk about it after we leave. No one’s going to know where anyone else is going. It’ll be safer that way.”

Spike was gazing at her in approval. At least someone seemed to agree with her.

“Buff,” Xander said, eyeing the vampire with distaste. “You can’t trust him. What’s keeping him from delivering Dawn to Glory on a silver platter?”

“He could have given her up earlier, Xander, and he didn’t.”

Xander scowled. “That just means there wasn’t enough in it for him.”

Buffy tried not to roll her eyes again. “We don’t have a choice. Dawn needs protecting and no one else is strong enough. I’m not budging on this. We should all leave by tomorrow night.” She gave her friend a smile to soften her words. “Besides, didn’t you always want to live like Kerouac?”

Xander’s scowl lightened a bit. “Well, sure, but I really didn’t picture it starting this way.”

“We’re going to see America!” Anya showed the first signs of enthusiasm all night. “I’ve always wanted to participate in the cultural tradition of a roadtrip. We’re going to have many madcap adventures. Stop worrying about Spike, Xander. Buffy can handle him.”

Buffy shot her thankful look. “Sorry about having to close the store.”

“Oh, I have many vacation days saved up. Giles will still owe me lots of money.”

“Uh, good.” Buffy lifted her eyebrows at her best friend. “Will?”

Willow shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. “We’ve got finals coming up, Buffy.”

“I know,” Buffy said gently. “But Willow, look at him.” She gestured at Spike. “If it was one of you, you’d be dead.”

Tara reached out and took Willow’s hand before finally speaking up. “We’ll go.”

“But, Tara!”

“We’ll go, Willow. It’s not the worst plan.”  

“This is madness,” Giles grumbled and stood up. “We’d better get home.” Buffy stood too, her face stony while the others filed out of the house in uncomfortable silence. Giles stopped in the foyer. “Buffy, please, consider what you’re doing. There are other alternatives.”

“No, Giles. I promised Mom I’d do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”

Her Watcher pressed his lips together in a thin line and stalked out of the house, radiating displeasure. The door slammed behind him. She walked back into the living room where Spike was finishing up his blood as Dawn watched.

“Mind’s made up then, Slayer?”

“Yes.” Buffy met his gaze. “No one else could have survived what you did, Spike.”

The vampire’s lips quirked up at that. “We’ll use my car. I’ve got the windows blacked out already.”

“Thanks. For everything.”

He stared at her for a long time and Buffy felt a flush starting to creep up her neck. “You sure you want me along?” he finally asked.

Buffy took his empty mug back from him. “I’m sure. Do you want more blood?” Spike nodded and she could practically feel his curious gaze tracking her across the room. Buffy heard him talking softly to Dawn while she heated up another cup of blood. She stared at the rotating mug in the microwave as the seconds counted down. Her mind was a jumble of thoughts and plans and schedules. Giles was right, her and Dawn’s departure was going to be the trickiest. 

The microwave beeped and she went back into the living room with the warm mug cradled in her hands. She handed it to Spike, who nodded his thanks. “Is your homework done?” she asked Dawn. Her sister looked at Spike and then up at Buffy.

“No.”

Buffy pursed her lips. “Go get as much done as you can. You’ll go to school like usual tomorrow, okay? Pack a bag like you’re spending the night at Janice’s. Spike and I will pick you up behind her house just after sunset.”

Dawn stood up from the couch. “We’re really leaving?”

“Yes.” Buffy said firmly.

“And Spike’s coming.” Dawn looked like she wasn’t quite sure if she should believe Buffy or not.

“Spike’s coming. We’re going to keep you safe.”

Dawn glanced at Spike again. “Okay.” She went up the stairs with an uncharacteristic lack of argument.

Spike set his empty mug on the coffee table, his eyelid drooping tiredly. Buffy held out a hand to help him up off the couch. “Come on, there’s a cot in the basement for you.”

Spike glanced at her hand for a moment before taking it and letting her haul him up off the couch. “This is getting a little weird, Slayer,” he said. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it, but I’m kind of wondering when my punch in the nose is coming.”

A laugh slipped out of Buffy’s mouth, surprising her. “I think you’ve been punched enough for a while.” She carefully navigated the hallway and the basement stairs with Spike leaning heavily on her. She hoped his leg was going to heal quickly. She mentally added a cooler to her list of things for the trip, to keep a supply of blood on hand.

Spike slumped down onto the cot, relief evident on his face. “What changed?” he asked softly, watching her with one clear blue eye. It used to make her angry that a monster like him would have such pretty eyes. She wasn’t sure when she’d stopped thinking of him as a monster.

“You could have ended the torture with one word. Dawn might be some supernatural energy sent to me for safekeeping, but she’s also my sister. Some people might not get that.” She sat down on the edge of the cot and stared at the far wall of the dim basement, her voice wavering slightly. “I’m not going to let some hell-god have her.” She flicked a look at him and caught him frowning. “You chose to protect her, and that means something to me, Spike.” She touched the leg he’d been favoring. “Do you need anything for this?”

Spike shook his head. “It’s mending already. Just need a bit more blood and some time.”

Buffy’s shoulders relaxed slightly. The only person she knew who might be able to help fix Spike’s leg was Ben, and she really didn’t want to drag the poor guy into the mess that was her life. She should have known better than to pretend she could be a normal girl, even for a little while.

“I’ll bring you some more in a few hours.”  She stood up and headed for the stairs.

“Buffy?” She turned to look at Spike. “Didn’t do it just for you, pet, even though…well, you know.”

Buffy felt her lips quirk up slightly, even if she was still mad about the stupid robot. “I know, Spike. That’s why you’re here.”

“I’m sorry about…well, I’m sorry.”

“Let’s start again tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure, Slayer. Tomorrow’s brand new.”

“Exactly.”


	3. Destination Unknown

Buffy could hardly believe she was back here, in Spike’s giant, ugly car idling in a dirty alley. They were behind Janice’s house, waiting on Dawn. At least this time he wasn’t going to give her some weird speech about developing…feelings. Hopefully. The first time was more than enough. She glanced at Spike suspiciously out of the corner of her eye but he just kept staring out the tiny patch of cleared windshield in front of him, watching for Dawn.

She shifted in her seat and returned to watching for her sister as well. The orange of the distant horizon was slowly fading to gray. Buffy resisted glancing over at Spike again. She really didn’t want him to catch her looking and make a big deal out of it. When she’d first thought up this whole get-out-of-dodge plan, it’d seemed so logical to take Spike with her. It was just starting to sink in how much time they were going to be spending together. She sincerely hoped he wasn’t going to get the wrong idea.

“Last chance to drive off with the Watcher,” Spike said into the silence. Buffy started, wondering if he’d read her mind. He always did manage to pick up on her moods startlingly well; it was one of his most annoying traits. And one she was bound to get sick of on this trip. The problem was, like she’d told Giles, she really didn’t have any better ideas. She had to keep Dawn safe, and Spike was her best bet.

Buffy took a deep, calming breath, looked over at him from the passenger seat, and shrugged. “All my stuff’s already in here.” Spike snorted a laugh and she found herself suddenly smiling. She’d forgotten that she could be funny, lately.

“Fine, but we’re setting some ground rules. First, driver controls the radio.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose. “Ugh.” Whatever Spike wanted to listen to, she had a feeling she was going to hate it. A moment later, she brightened. “Oh boy, you’ve never traveled with Dawn, have you?” Spike looked at her curiously and Buffy’s smile turned smug when she spotted her little sister hurrying toward them in the gathering gloom. “This is going to be fun.”

“Hey!” Dawn swung her overnight bag into the back seat and slid in. “Oh my god, this is so cool, like Mission Impossible or something. I told Janice’s mom I wasn’t feeling good, but then I had to pretend to not be hungry at dinner so when I said I wanted to go home it’d look authentic. Did you bring snacks? I’m starving. Can we stop and get burgers? This is going to be awesome!” Spike put the car in gear and pulled out of the alley, flicking the headlights on only after they were a block away. Dawn rummaged through her bag for a while before finally leaning way over the front seat and shoving something in the cassette player. “I had to beg Janice to let me borrow these, since Buffy’s tapes were all lame.”

“Hey!” Buffy protested.

“You should seriously think about getting a CD player in here,” Dawn told Spike, ignoring her sister.

“No.” Spike said, sounding amused.

Harmonized male voices poured out of the speakers, making Spike wince, while Dawn continued chattering, her head propped up on her folded arms over the back of the seat. “I ended up having to promise Janice that she could borrow my favorite sweater for a month before she’d let me have this one. I love this song. We listened to it like ten times already tonight.”

Buffy glanced over at Spike and couldn’t stop herself from grinning at the look of horror on his face. Oh yeah, this was going to be a blast.

***

“Bit,” Spike said hopefully. “I think some nice quiet time is in order, yeah?” Buffy glanced over at him, amused. It had been a little over two hours. He’d lasted longer than she’d expected. The first cassette had been replaced by a second (though the difference was negligible) and, after eating two burgers from a drive-thru, Dawn had proceeded to braid half of Buffy’s hair into tiny plaits. Buffy let her head loll back against the seat, her body relaxing for the first time in what felt like months. Her hair probably looked insane, but it wasn’t like she was trying to impress Spike.

Dawn let out a loud sigh behind her and her fingers stopped combing through Buffy’s hair. Buffy let out a tiny, disappointed noise. “How much further?” Dawn asked.

Spike glanced at Buffy questioningly and Buffy realized that in the excitement of secretly getting all their things packed up this afternoon—and thank god for the giant trunk on Spike’s antique of a car—they’d forgotten to discuss where they were going. “We’re going to drive as far as we can tonight, Dawn,” Buffy finally replied, idly scrutinizing Spike. His face looked a little better today. At least he was able to use both eyes.

“Oh.” Dawn squinted out the windshield at the barely visible landscape. “Where are we now?”

“Still in California, heading for Nevada,” Spike said. “Can go pretty much anywhere from there.”

Dawn was quiet for a minute. “Do you really think this will work?”

Buffy bit her lower lip and stared at the black-smeared windshield in front of her. God, she hoped so. It was all she had left. She felt Spike’s arm settle onto the seatback behind her as he tugged one of the little braids Dawn had woven in her hair. “Course it’ll work,” he said when Buffy didn’t reply.

She shook herself, grateful he was at least optimistic. “It’ll work, Dawn.” She felt Spike wind a braid around his finger before letting it go. He didn’t move his arm though. She almost tipped her head back to rest on his hand just to see if he’d keep playing with her hair before deciding that might be kind of weird, since she’d pretty much hated him yesterday. Although hate was kind of a strong word. She definitely hated Glory, but her feelings towards Spike were more...something. Mostly complicated.

She glanced back and saw Dawn’s eyes sliding closed as her sister curled up against the window behind Spike, her jacket balled up under her head. Buffy turned the heat up a little higher. The old car was draftier than they were used to.

“Where were you thinking of going?” Buffy asked Spike quietly.

Spike shrugged. “Up, mostly, maybe east a bit. You have somewhere in mind?”

“No.” Buffy hadn’t really thought beyond her get-everyone-out-of-Sunnydale plan. 

“We’ll keep her safe,” Spike said firmly.

“We have to.” Any relaxation she’d felt was long gone.

“Not going to let you down, Buffy, I swear.” He tugged on one of her braids again.

“I know,” she said softly. The strange thing was, she did know. She still didn’t understand why, but that wasn’t high on her priority list right now. This time she did let her head fall back against his hand. He played with the braids in her hair until she slipped into sleep herself. 

***

When she woke up, something she didn’t recognize was playing softly over the speakers. Buffy blinked the sleep out of her eyes and stretched her legs out. At least this car actually had leg room. She shuddered at the thought of cramming her and Dawn’s things, plus themselves, into Giles’ tiny red midlife-crisis car. She glanced over her shoulder. Dawn was still asleep. Stifling a yawn, Buffy peered out the windshield but didn’t see any road signs. “Where are we?”

“Just crossed into Nevada.” Spike’s voice was low and quiet.

“God, it feels like we’ve been driving forever.”

Spike chuckled quietly. “Could be in a whole different country by now if we were in Europe. Americans are spoiled for space.”

“You’re just jealous we kicked your butts and took your tea or something.”

“Please tell me you’re not helping your sister with her homework.”

“Just for that, you can help her, Mr. Smartypants-guy.”

“Thank christ. Maybe she’ll actually learn something.”

“Hey! I know stuff.” Buffy slumped in her seat, sulking. “I’m in…was in college you know.” It hurt to switch to the past tense.

Spike glanced at her. “You’ll go back.” His voice took on a soothing tone that somehow make her feel a little better, even though she really didn’t want to feel reassured by Spike, of all people.

Buffy shrugged uncomfortably. Everything in her life was crazy right now, even without the whole hellgod thing. She really couldn’t picture juggling Dawn, Slaying, and all the grown-up stuff that’d been foisted onto her shoulders, plus college somehow. Buffy wished she could ask her mom how she had handled everything when they’d first moved to Sunnydale. Maybe after Dawn graduated, she could go back to school. If she lived that long.

Buffy reached up to undo all the tiny braids in her hair and tried to be grateful that she’d gotten to go to college at all, even if it had been for just a little while. It’d been so nice to pretend that a part of her life was like everyone else’s: going to parties with her boyfriend, borrowing lecture notes from Willow, complaining about midterms and cramming for finals. Now, those things seemed like scenes from some someone else’s life.

“Maybe,” Buffy said after a long silence. She turned her head to stare out the black-smeared passenger window. There weren’t any streetlights to illuminate whatever they were driving past, not that she would have seen much anyways. Occasionally, another car would pass them heading in the opposite direction, but whatever highway they were on was pretty empty.

The car was quiet for a minute. Buffy decided that maybe whatever music Spike had playing wasn’t so bad. It was definitely rock-ish but not horrifyingly loud or awful like she’d expected. Buffy settled back against the seat. “Do you think somewhere, like in another dimension or something, we’re normal?”

Spike turned and lifted an eyebrow at her before looking at the road again. “Normal? What the bloody hell would we want to be normal for?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Oh my god, you suck at this game.”

“What game?”

“It used to be ‘Anywhere But Here’, but after the whole graduation-snake-demon thing we changed it to ‘Anyone But Us’.”

“Heard about that,” Spike murmured, sounding vaguely impressed. “And that game is ridiculous.”

“It’s not!” Buffy felt like she was back on solid ground now, arguing with Spike like usual. “So, if I was normal, I would be at Northwestern studying, um….political science, and I would be going out to a party tonight with Willow, who would be visiting me from M.I.T.”

“Political science?” Spike sniggered. “I give the world two years, tops.”

“Hey!”

“You’re daft.”

“It’s your turn.”

“Not playing.”

“Spike! Come on.” Buffy shifted on the seat, tucking her legs under her. She studied his profile in the light of passing headlights filtering in through the blackened windows. It reminded her of the shadow cutouts her mother used to collect, a long time ago. When she was little there’d been a whole wall in their house covered in framed stranger’s profiles, carefully cut out of black paper and preserved long after their subjects had been forgotten. She wondered what had happened to them.

Spike glanced her way. “Never would have met you, if I were normal. Doesn’t seem like a fair trade.”

Buffy reached out and turned the heat down. The car seemed too warm suddenly. “You suck at this game,” she said again, though there was much less force behind it this time.

“I have to pee,” Dawn announced from the back seat, yawning. “Are we there yet?”

***

Buffy paused as she emerged from the bathroom. The florescent lights flickered overhead as she watched her sister and Spike across the room. The dingy little restaurant wasn’t as empty as she’d thought it would be at three in the morning. There was a group of scruffy guys with baseball caps having breakfast by the front windows, and a young couple who looked exhausted sipping coffee close to the doors.

Dawn and Spike were in a booth against the far wall, near the kitchen. Spike was leaning back, his arm stretched along the top of the bench seat, and saying something to Dawn, who was sitting across from him. Buffy noticed that he had chosen a spot from which he could survey the room.

Dawn was hunched over a frothy drink in a tall glass that looked like it probably contained a thousand calories and a pound of sugar, making Buffy sigh. Just what she needed, to be trapped in a car with her hyper sister. Dawn said something that made Spike laugh with his head thrown back and his whole body shaking, and Buffy found herself unable to look away, a smile rising unbidden in response to his obvious happiness. Sometimes it was almost too easy to forget he was a member of the undead club and supposedly her mortal enemy. He always managed to seem so alive.

Buffy pulled herself out of her weird reverie and crossed the room, seeing a mug of something covered in whipped cream next to Dawn that was probably meant for her. She slid into the booth and Spike grinned at her, his laughter fading but still evident in his expression. He really was looking a lot better. His bruises were fading and his face less swollen. Buffy wondered for a moment how he managed not to look completely awful under the florescent lights. She’d looked like death warmed over in the bathroom mirrors and she wasn’t even dead.

She picked up her mug and the scent of sugar and cocoa hit her. “Hot chocolate?” She glanced at Dawn. After the last couple of weeks of dealing with Dawn’s unpredictable moods, her sister’s thoughtfulness surprised her. “Thank you.”

Dawn shrugged. “Spike thought you would probably like it.”

Buffy blinked. “Oh,” she said, glancing at the vampire across from her. “Um, thanks.”

Spike just took a sip of his own drink. It looked like motor oil. Buffy was grateful he hadn’t ordered her the coffee. “Don’t mention it. So, Dawn and I’ve been discussing where we might go on this little adventure. Anywhere in particular you’ve always wanted to visit, pet?”

Buffy took a sip of her hot chocolate, enjoying the warm slide of it down her throat. She shook her head. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

Spike looked at her with an expression on his face that somehow conveyed both sympathy and understanding at once. Buffy had never been able to figure out how this vampire without a soul managed to be so damn human. He kept doing things that just didn’t fit in her neat little “vampire: bad” classification system that she’d developed over the years. She had the uneasy feeling that if she’d known him better before the whole Angelus debacle, she might have had a harder time believing Angel’s explanation of his evil demon side. At the very least, she would have had a few more questions.

“Well, you’ve got some time to think on it now.” Spike took a sip of his coffee, watching her over the rim of the mug. Buffy looked away, hoping he couldn’t sense her confusion. She dragged a finger through the whipped cream and absently stuck it in her mouth. When she glanced up, Spike was the one avoiding her eyes. She pulled her finger out hastily and felt her face flush. Luckily, Dawn chose that moment to completely derail Buffy’s train of thought before it could get her into trouble.

“I want to see a buffalo!” Dawn said cheerfully.

Buffy turned to her sister, astonished. “You hate nature!”

Dawn had that stubborn look on her face that meant Buffy was so going to lose this argument. “Except that all my memories are fake, so maybe I actually love it.”

Spike’s grin made a reappearance as Buffy struggled to be supportive. “Um, well, I guess there must be a museum or something we can…”

“A real buffalo,” Dawn clarified, her eyes narrowing.

“Like in a zoo?” Buffy asked hopefully.

Dawn frowned. “No, Buffy.” She rolled her eyes. “Spike said there’s a cool national park with buffalos we can go to. Jellystone or something.”

“Yellowstone,” Spike corrected, sounding amused.

“Yellowstone?” Buffy repeated, trying to remember where that was. All she could picture were lakes and mountains and…she sucked in a breath, oh god, sleeping outside, possibly on the ground, which had to be worse than uncomfortable and probably involved bugs. “Like, a place full of nothing but trees and stuff? How are we even going to find a buffalo? Maybe we should visit a zoo. I bet they have informative signage!”

Spike’s grin was entirely too amused. “Relax, Slayer, we’re not going to make you go anywhere without indoor plumbing.”

Buffy slumped back in relief. “Oh, thank god.”

“See!” Dawn bounced in her seat. “Maybe those monk-guys made me think I hated nature because you do. Maybe I actually, like, love camping or something.”

Spike snorted into his coffee. “You once spent ten minutes shrieking about a cobweb on your sweater, bit.”

“Well, that was gross, and I could have had a spider on me!” Dawn glared at him.

Buffy shuddered. “Ugh, spiders.”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah, you both love nature. This is going to be fun.” He drained the rest of his mug and set it on the table with a thump. “Ready to go? Not a lot out here and I’d like to find a place to catch a bit of kip before too long.”

Buffy finished the last of her chocolate and stood, waiting, as Dawn slipped out of the booth as well.

“Your treat,” Spike said, standing up and shooting her a wink as a bored-looking waitress headed in their direction. “Since I’m doing all the driving, right Slayer?”

Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but her sister beat her to it. “Oh, totally,” Dawn agreed without hesitation. Buffy glared at the vampire, who just shot her a smirk before heading for the front door with Dawn. Reluctantly, she conceded that Dawn was probably right. A crappy cup of coffee was the least she could do.

Buffy idly watched the long line of Spike’s legs through the front windows as he sauntered out to the car while she paid for their drinks. He was hardly limping at all anymore.

So far, this trip had been surprisingly free of urges to stake him. She wondered how long it would last.


	4. Crossing State Lines

“Two,” Buffy said grimly.

“One,” Spike countered.

The woman behind the desk of the dumpy motel that had been all they could find before sunrise glanced between them nervously. “Uh…”

“Two,” Buffy insisted.

“How do you expect me to help if I’m not in the sodding room?”

“I’ll be there! We won’t need your help.”

“Sure, until she knocks you out and leaves you for dead, because that’s never happened before.”

“We don’t-” the desk clerk tentatively started.

“I’m not sharing a room with you!”

“Why the bloody hell am I here then?”

“To help with Dawn, but not to…to share bedrooms!”

“Worried you won’t be able resist me, eh, kitten?”

“Ugh! Gross, Spike!”

“Excuse me?” the clerk said, raising her hand timidly.

“What!” Buffy and Spike both turned to glare at the woman behind the check-in desk.

“Um, we only have one room available. There’s a rodeo the next town over and…” She shrank away from Buffy’s glare. “Sorry!”

“Don’t mind her, love.” Spike turned on his charming grin and the woman behind the counter flushed a deep shade of red. It made Buffy want to punch him in the nose and then lecture the motel clerk about how things that went bump in the night were very, very bad. “She’s always like this.”

“Only around you,” Buffy grumbled, crossing her arms.

“Why, Slayer, I’m honored.” Spike smirked.

“Whatever, Spike.” Buffy tossed her hair. “I’ll be in the car.” She stomped out the front door and went to sulk in the front seat while Spike negotiated for their stupid single room. How was she supposed to get any rest with some vampire in the next bed? What if he, like…used her toothbrush or watched her sleep or something else totally icky?  

“Uh, are we going to get a room eventually?” Dawn asked from the back seat. “You guys have been in there yelling at each other forever.”

“Spike’s getting it.”

“Cool.” Dawn yawned so wide Buffy heard her sister’s jaw crack. “Man, it’s late. Or early. Vampire hours are funky.”

Buffy’s entire body was buzzing. She wasn’t going to be able to sleep for hours. She slouched down further in her seat. It was the stupid vampire’s fault. Spike knew how to get under her skin faster than anyone else in the entire world. Maybe this was a bad idea. They hadn’t even been out of Sunnydale a whole day and already she wanted to stake him. And now they were going to have to share a room! Ugh. She bet he hogged the bathroom too, even if he didn’t need to use it. There was no way that hair didn’t require some serious maintenance.

Spike slid into the car and handed her a key dangling from a laminated card. “Last one,” he said, starting the engine. “It’s down at the end.”

“What were you guys fighting about?” Dawn leaned over the seat, addressing Spike.

“Nothing for you to worry about.” Spike parked the car in front of the motel room door. “Just me and your sis having a bit of a go round about whose turn it was to pay.”

Buffy glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. She’d almost forgotten, a few minutes ago, exactly why they were out here. All she could think about was that she was going to be trapped in a small, dark room with Spike and there was going to be lying down and soft sheets and what if he’d taken her spontaneous, grateful kiss after the whole Glory debacle as encouragement? Which it so hadn’t been. But she wasn’t going to be alone with him. Dawn would be with them the whole time because they were protecting her, obviously. Spike was just extra muscle and nothing else.

***

“Dibs!” Dawn made a beeline for the bathroom with her bag.

“Don’t take all night!” Buffy called after her irritably.

The bathroom door slamming shut was her sister’s only response. Buffy sighed and looked around the dingy room, tossing her overnight bag on one of the beds. She was a little surprised it didn’t send up a puff of dust or a swarm of gnats or something. “This place is gross,” she grumbled.

“Sorry, your highness, the Ritz was booked up. Besides, I thought we were supposed to be lying low.” She heard the other bed creak behind her and turned to see Spike stretched out on the bed, one arm tucked behind his head and the TV remote in his hand. His duster was tossed over a rickety table that looked like it might collapse at any moment. He hadn’t brought anything else in with him from the car. 

“Not this low,” she muttered.

Spike cut his eyes at her, his bruises lending color to his usually pale face. He clicked rapidly through several fuzzy channels. “Sun’s about up, and this was the only place we’ve seen in fifty miles.”

“I know.” All the fight drained out of her and Buffy gingerly sat down on the other bed, feeling guilty. “Thanks for driving.”

Spike’s eyebrows raised. “Uh, you’re welcome?” he responded cautiously, like he expected her to take it back at any moment.

The shower started on the other side of the bathroom door. Spike settled on some old movie that flickered in and out on the screen. Buffy couldn’t tell if it was meant to be in black and white or if the tv set was just that old. The volume was down so low she could only catch brief snippets of the dialogue.

She drew up her knees and wrapped her arms around them as everything that’d happened over the last day started to sink in. She hoped everyone else had gotten out of Sunnydale without any trouble. She and Spike had seen one of those creepy minions of Glory’s lurking in front of Janice’s house when they’d gone to pick up Dawn, though luckily the weird little demon stuck out like sore thumb in the quiet suburban neighborhood and had been easy to avoid. Hopefully it was still there, patiently waiting for Dawn to reemerge.

If everything had gone according to plan, Buffy had at least gotten everyone away from that evil bitch of a hellgod, even if it meant that now she was alone in the middle of nowhere, Nevada, with Spike. Well, alone except for Dawn, when she wasn’t hogging the bathroom.

Buffy shifted on the bed and wished she could put her pajamas on. She was so exhausted even a lumpy bed covered in scratchy sheets couldn’t really take the pleasure out of finally being able to lie down uninterrupted for a few hours. She’d hardly slept at all the last night in Sunnydale, staying up to pack half her room, unpack most of it, then repack only the most vital things to make it less obvious they’d taken off.

During her first packing attempt, she’d run across a photo of her and Riley that’d been taken at some party she’d forgotten about. Riley was staring straight into the camera with a grin on his face, one arm draped around Buffy’s shoulders and a drink in his other hand. Buffy though…she was gazing off to the left with her arms crossed and her smile the same one she’d automatically pasted on in all her school photos. Buffy’d stared at herself and wondered how on earth she hadn’t realized she’d checked out of that relationship eons ago.

She’d left the photo behind, shoved to the back of one of her dresser drawers. Thank god Riley had taken off when he did. It had hurt, him leaving that way, but he would have flipped about Spike being included in the save-Dawn plan and Buffy wasn’t sure she would have won the argument to bring the vampire along if both Giles and Riley had been against her.

The vampire who was currently watching the television, the light reflecting off the myriad of bruises that he’d gotten to protect some newly-formed human he really shouldn’t care about at all. She frowned at him, wondering again why he hadn’t saved his own skin. Spike had always been an opportunist, but she still couldn’t figure out what he was getting out of inserting himself into this particular fight.

Spike glanced over and caught her staring, his lips turning up slightly at the edges. “Am I still looking that bad, Slayer?”

“What? No.” Buffy felt herself blushing. “I mean, yes, your face still looked like you lost a fight with a truck, but it’s getting better.”

Spike snorted. “Thanks for that ego boost. I’ll lurk in the shadows until I’m less likely to scare the kiddies, alright?”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Spike, you’re a vampire. Lurking and scaring is pretty much your job description.”

Spike’s smile slipped off his face. “Right, how could I forget?”

Buffy settled into a cross-legged position on the bed facing Spike, even though she knew she should just stop before her mouth got her into trouble. The ancient air-conditioning unit under the window kicked on, settling into a low rumble that drowned out the television completely. Spike made no move to turn up the volume. Buffy opened her mouth. “Why?” tumbled out.

Spike’s brow furrowed. “Why what, Slayer?”

Buffy plucked at the fraying edges of the shiny quilt on the bed. She was pretty sure it’d been the height of fashion twenty years ago. “Why did you agree to come?”

“To help keep Dawn safe,” Spike said, sounding puzzled.

“But why?” Buffy persisted. She propped her head on her hand and stared at him. The shower was still running in the bathroom. Dawn had better leave her some hot water. “Why do you even care?”

Spike looked away from her, seemingly gauging the amount of sunlight that was starting to leak in around the heavy curtains. “You know why, Buffy,” he finally replied, his voice low.

Buffy huffed a frustrated breath. “That makes no sense.”

Spike sat up abruptly, still not looking at her. He swung his legs off the bed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Believe me, I’d be the first one to agree with you.” He sighed before lifting his head to meet her eyes. “What did you expect me to say? That I’m regretting not throwing my lot in with some lunatic hell-bitch who wants to end the world?”

“Sounds like just your type,” Buffy muttered.

Setting his jaw, Spike got up from the bed and went to shake out his coat before slinging it on. Buffy sat up straighter on the bed.

“Wait, where are you going?” she asked in alarm.

Spike lifted his eyes to the ceiling. “To have a smoke,” he said tersely. “Do I need your permission for that as well?”

“The sun’s coming up.”

“Had noticed,” Spike said dryly.

Biting her lip, Buffy shifted on the bed. The shower had finally turned off, but Dawn had yet to relinquish the bathroom. “It’s just…” she tried to explain. “You’re not supposed to.”

Spike lifted one eyebrow. “Already dead, Slayer. Don’t think a smoke’s going to make much difference.”

“No,” Buffy said, frustrated. “I mean care.”

He glanced towards the bathroom door, which she assumed meant Dawn was about to emerge, and lowered his voice even further. “Think what you want, Slayer. I know my own sodding heart, even if I want to cut the damn thing out of my chest right about now. Would that make you happy?” He nearly snarled the last at her.

Buffy recoiled, clenching her hands into fists, but Spike only whirled around and stalked out the door, slamming it behind him just as Dawn came out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam. Buffy wasn’t getting any hot water for sure.

“Was that Spike? It’s practically daylight!” Dawn said in alarm. She put her hands on her hips and scowled at Buffy. “Did you make him leave? I thought you wanted him along! He’s supposed to help!” Each of Dawn’s sentences got slightly more hysterical and high-pitched, making Buffy wince.

“He’ll be back,” she said hurriedly as Dawn drew in breath to launch another complaint. “He wanted a cigarette, okay?” Dawn glared at her suspiciously. “I promise.” Buffy drew an ‘X’ over her heart and stood up from the bed, grabbing her bag. “Why don’t you get some sleep?”

Dawn stomped over to the bed Buffy had just vacated and flung the covers back before crawling in and pointedly turning her back on her sister. Buffy knew without checking that Dawn was watching the door and waiting for Spike to return. Stifling a lecture about her sister’s lack of taste in role models, Buffy escaped to the bathroom.

***

Steam still covered most of the mirror, though a part of it was clear where Dawn must have wiped it with her towel. The towel had then apparently been flung carelessly on the floor. Buffy felt a pang of sorrow thinking of how many times Joyce had told her not to do that exact thing. Mom wouldn’t ever nag them about picking up after themselves ever again. Would Dawn only ever remember Buffy telling her to put her towels in the hamper? A tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped it away, feeling silly. It was just laundry, for god’s sake. And not even laundry she was responsible for.

Buffy kicked Dawn’s discarded towel to one side and made a vow to show Dawn how to use the washer and dryer when they got back home.

Ignoring her reflection, which she knew was just going to show her that she was pale with giant bags under her eyes, Buffy quickly undressed and, after double checking to make sure she’d locked the bathroom door, climbed in the shower.

The water was warmer than she’d expected, and Buffy luxuriated in it for a minute. If she ignored the last half hour, the trip hadn’t been that bad so far. She’d certainly expected to be a lot more annoyed by Spike’s constant presence than she had been. It was almost a relief to have him along, since Dawn was way more willing to listen to him than to anyone else. Buffy picked up an open bottle of very familiar shampoo, rolling her eyes as she realized Dawn must have packed the bottle Buffy had hidden behind the sheets in the linen closet. No wonder her stuff had been disappearing so fast.

Squeezing some into her hand, Buffy tipped her head back to wet her hair and work the shampoo in. Spike was just so frustrating sometimes. Or most of the time. It was like he delighted in being the exact opposite of most vampires she knew, only to turn around and do something to reminded her that he was definitely a demon. The damn robot sprang to mind.

She couldn’t believe that none of her friends had noticed it wasn’t her. Was it really that easy to believe she’d happily start…doing things with Spike? Wrinkling her nose, she began to rinse her hair, closing her eyes under the shower spray. Sure, like Xander had so weirdly pointed out, Spike certainly wasn’t hideous, but lots of people weren’t hideous and also weren’t vampires! She just had to find one of those people and then…and then somehow explain the whole Slayer thing without having them run screaming into the night. And that was before she got around to explaining she was Dawn’s guardian in all senses of the word and her sister wasn’t really real until recently and…

Buffy lashed out with one fist, further cracking the already broken tile under the showerhead. She felt tears pricking her eyes again, but this time they were ones of frustration. Dammit, how the hell was she supposed to have a normal life when nothing about her life was normal?

A tentative knock at the door had her wiping at her eyes, which was ridiculous because she was covered in water. “What?” she yelled over noise of the shower.

“You alright in there?” Spike’s deep voice asked.

“Fine,” Buffy snapped, feeling the tension coiled in her shoulders. He didn’t say anything else, and she assumed he’d walked away. The water was cooling off, so she hurriedly threw some conditioner in her hair and gave herself a quick wash before rinsing it out. Turning off the water, she grabbed a nearby towel and wrapped it around her torso. It just barely covered her butt and her hair was dripping all over the floor.

Standing in front of the mirror, she methodically combed through her hair until it was snarl-free, and then spent a long time staring at her blurry reflection as the glass slowly cleared. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Not her stupid flirtation with Ben that hadn’t gone anywhere or her attempt at normalcy with Riley. The First Slayer was wrong, Buffy wasn’t full of anything remotely love-related. She’d fallen in love exactly once, before it had imploded rather spectacularly, and she sincerely doubted she’d ever get a second chance. 

Death though, that seemed to follow her like a shroud.

She shivered and turned away from the mirror, finishing her nighttime routine and pulling on her pajamas. She wished she owned frumpy, baggy pajamas instead of the revealing tank tops and comfy pants she usually slept in. Spike better not think she was wearing them for his benefit or anything.

Tossing her dirty clothes in her bag, she exited the bathroom. It looked like Dawn had already fallen asleep, her arms and legs sprawling across the bed and leaving little room. Buffy sighed. She hated having to share with her sister. Dawn was the worst bed-hog ever.

Spike was lying on his back in his bed, his eyes closed. She couldn’t tell if he was sleeping, but the television was off and the only light in the room was what was seeping in around the edges of the heavy curtains. His boots were still on, though he’d taken off his jacket. Buffy crawled into bed beside Dawn and laid her head on the musty-smelling pillow, pulling the quilt up to her neck.

Her last thought was that she was never going to get any sleep with Spike next to her.


	5. Pavement Ends

“Who kicked your ass?” Buffy overheard some burly guy with an unpleasant grin ask Spike as she emerged from the rest stop bathroom.

Spike was idly perusing the map bolted to the wall between an ugly metal trashcan and a utilitarian bench. He barely glanced at the guy who’d spoken to him, rolling his shoulders in an unconcerned shrug and not answering. The streetlamps were emitting a low buzz in the cool night air and Spike’s bruises looked especially yellow in the artificial light.

“Hey, you hear me, buddy?” the big guy asked. He was wearing a tight shirt that he probably thought showed off his muscles, but mostly just clung unattractively to his middle.

Buffy paused, waiting for Dawn, and watched the stranger cautiously. He didn’t seem to be anything more than an annoying, run-of-the-mill human, but they were supposed to be blending in so nothing would get back to Glory. There weren’t many other cars in the parking lot, and Spike was memorable enough without him vamping out at some trucker. Buffy narrowed her eyes at Spike’s ubiquitous black coat and his bright white hair. Although maybe there were other things she should be worrying about.

And to think the night had started out so uneventfully.

Buffy and Dawn had woken up to find that Spike had grabbed them what he considered breakfast, which seemed to consist of every fattening snack found at a mini-mart. Dawn had been in heaven, and Buffy had bitten her tongue about proper nutrition because, after all, they were sort of on vacation. Besides, she hadn’t had one of those tiny donuts that got powdered sugar everywhere in what felt like forever. They’d headed out as the moon rose, rapidly leaving the seedy motel behind.

The rest of Nevada had passed by without any major incidents. Spike had argued with Dawn for a good hour about proper road trip music before her sister had finally put on her headphones and sulked in the backseat, leaving Spike smiling smugly while music that Buffy thought she might actually kind of like poured from the car speakers. Not that she ever would have told Spike that.

They were just over the border into Idaho now, and apparently their luck was no longer holding.

Spike turned to fully face the other man. “Heard you, mate, just don’t see how that’s any of your sodding business.”

Buffy sighed as the big guy’s expression darkened. This whole save-Dawn trip would be so much easier if she didn’t also have to worry about keeping Spike out of trouble. Giles wouldn’t have started random arguments with strangers, but he probably also would have spent the whole trip quizzing her about demons or something. Buffy wrinkled her nose. Ugh, that would have been a drag. 

“Maybe someone needs to teach you some damn manners,” the guy spit out. “Looks like the last time didn’t take.”

Spike lifted an eyebrow. “Doubt I’d learn anything from a pillock like you.” The vampire looked the man up and down, his lips curled in a sneer.

“What did you just call me?”

Dawn had finally emerged from the bathroom and was watching with wide eyes. “Go wait in the car, Dawn.” Buffy shooed her sister away. Dawn glared at her, but complied. Buffy waited until Dawn was safely ensconced in the car before sauntering over and slipping her hand under Spike’s arm. Spike looked over at her in surprise, but she just smiled brightly at him.

“Hey, honey, ready to go?” Buffy turned her oblivious smile from Spike to the big guy. “Sorry to steal him, were you boys making friends?”

The big guy leered at her in a way that made her want to punch him even though it totally wouldn’t be a fair fight. She spent so much time hanging out in graveyards with demons that sometimes she forgot how creepy regular humans could be, too.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” the guy said to her chest. “What’s a cute little thing like you doing with this loser?”

Buffy lifted her eyebrows, feeling Spike’s arm tense under her hand. “I didn’t nurse you back to health for your own good, remember?” she said under her breath. The vampire snorted inelegantly but she felt him relax a little. “Oh, he’s got some hidden talents, right, Spike?” Buffy said cheerfully. She winked at the other guy, who was now wearing a confused expression, and dragged the vampire away. Spike started snickering quietly.

“Shut up, Spike!” Buffy hissed, pulling him along as she stalked toward the car. “God, I leave you for two seconds!”

“It wasn’t my fault!”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Of course not.”

“He started it,” Spike grumbled.

“Are you twelve?”

“Says the woman who just used the most blatant sexual innuendo ever.”

“Oh, don’t even go there. I’m not the one who named himself Spike.” She pushed him towards the car and started around towards the passenger side.

“For railroad spikes!” Spike exclaimed before waggled his eyebrows at her. “Though if you’d like to try out some other creative interpretations I would be more than willing to volunteer.”

“What?” Buffy paused by the passenger door of the car as his words sank in. “Oh, ew _,_ Spike!” She slid into the front seat, knowing her face must be bright red. Dawn was watching them curiously from the back.

Spike climbed in behind the wheel, a wide grin on his face. “You’re the one who said it, not me.”

“I was trying to help!”

“Always willing to lend me a hand, are you?”

“Oh my god.” Buffy dropped her head onto her hands. “Just drive, you stupid vampire.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Spike said, sounding entirely too cheerful.

“And maybe you should think about ditching your coat,” Buffy said critically.

“What?” Spike’s grin was immediately wiped off his face. “What the bloody hell for?”

“You kind of stick out like a sore thumb.”

The vampire scowled at her. “As if that bloke isn’t going to tell the story of some chit and her, ah-” He glanced back at Dawn. “Appreciation of a man’s talents for the rest of his life.”

Buffy huffed out a breath and crossed her arms. Spike might have a point, but she wasn’t about to admit it.

Dawn’s head appeared between them as she leaned over the front seat. “How much further?”

“Should make it by sunrise.”

Dawn threw herself back against her seat, sighing dramatically. “Ugh, this is taking forever. Put on the vampire song again.”

Spike put his arm across the seat, looking over his shoulder as he backed out of the parking space. His long fingers brushed Buffy’s shoulders and she shivered for a moment. She glared out the blackened windows, refusing to look at him.

“Sure, bit.” Spike’s tone was mild. Buffy hated that dealing with Dawn seemed to come so easily to him, while she was always fumbling along between anger and panic when it came to taking care of her sister. 

As Spike rummaged through his tape collection, curiosity got the better of her and Buffy turned towards him, taking in the vampire’s look of concentration as he steered them onto the mostly deserted highway and shoved a cassette into the tapedeck. “What vampire song?”

Dawn’s head reappeared. “You know, the one about the guy who meets a pretty vampire lady?”

“Had a hand in the lyrics,” Spike said proudly.

Buffy snorted. “Oh, sure you did.”

Spike shot her a glance, his smirk firmly in place. “Go ahead then, give it a listen.”

Buffy huffed out an exasperated breath and turned to stare out the smeary window again. Road trips with nothing to look at were kinda boring. The song filtered through the car, Spike drumming along on the steering wheel while Dawn stretched out in the back seat, her eyes closed.

Buffy had to admit, about halfway through the song, that the lyrics did sound like just the sappy kinds of things Spike would have come up with back when he’d been doting on his sire. Except the last time Drusilla had been in town, Spike had threatened to kill her. It was impossible, what he claimed to feel, and yet…it seemed so real sometimes. Buffy glanced at him out the corner of her eye as he sang along, not quite on key but with enough enthusiasm that she couldn’t help but smile. Luckily, it was hidden behind her hair.

***

“Are we there yet?” Buffy asked. She was lounging in the front seat, her bare feet kicked up on the dashboard while she perused the map in her hands. Boy, these states were all ginormous. They were still only halfway through Idaho.

Spike sighed beside her, his hand stretching in her direction before dropping to the seat between them. “Can’t you and your sis go ten seconds without being entertained?”

Buffy pouted, slouching further in her seat and tilting her head in his direction. Maybe he’d play with her hair again. It made her feel all warm and sleepy, and she was bored. She hadn’t slept at all tonight. Dawn was making tiny, snuffling noises in the back seat and had been for a couple hours. Buffy was so going to tease her about snoring later. Spike kept the music low enough so that Buffy had to strain to hear it.

“Want to play twenty questions?” she asked hopefully.

“Absolutely not.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose. “You’re no fun.”

“Evil, pet. My idea of fun does not involve guessing games.”

Oh, right, soulless vampire. She bit her lower lip and turned her attention back to the map. Ugh, she shouldn’t have to be reminded, especially not by him. She squirmed in her seat, annoyed with herself. It was weird how easy it was to forget that they weren’t friends, out here away from Sunnydale and everything she knew.

“Hey, Spike?”

“Still not playing, Slayer.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “It’s not about that. I just…it’s about the email I got from Giles tonight. Or, um, he sent it last night, I guess, but I got it tonight. How does that work anyways? Does the message like, hang out in space until I get it or…”

“Slayer,” Spike sounded slightly exasperated.

“Oh, right, you grew up without electricity. Sorry.”

“I still know how it works! Christ, Slayer, I’m a hundred and change, not a thousand.”

Buffy hid a triumphant smile. Ha, now who was annoyed? “Anyways,” she began again, feeling inexplicably better. “Giles said he drove past campus on his way out of town late last night, and he saw one of those creepy minions lurking in the bushes.”

“The witches leave already?”

Buffy was surprised at the concern in Spike’s voice, though she supposed she shouldn’t be. If he somehow managed to have a soft spot for Dawn, she guessed he might have one for other people too. Although it flew in the face of practically everything she’d learned about demons. An uneasy thought bubbled up about how often the Council had been wrong about things, including her, but she shoved it away. She felt a slight twinge in her chest that she ignored, her irritation returning. She hated that Spike always managed to throw her off-kilter.  “Yes,” Buffy said shortly.

Spike shot her a look. “Good. Glinda’s a sweet thing. Hate for anything bad to happen to her.”

Buffy felt chastised and wiggled a little in her seat, irrationally angry about he always seemed to know what she was thinking. “Well, they’re fine, okay? And you’re really not her type.” She saw him lift an eyebrow out of the corner of her eye and desperately wished that she didn’t have such a big mouth.

“She’s not really my type either, pet, as you well know.”

 Buffy felt her cheeks heating up. “Whatever. The point is that Glory probably thinks we’re still there, which is good, don’t you think? And Giles left a, um, decoy too. At my house.”

“What do you mean?” Spike asked curiously. She heard his sharp intake of breath a moment later. “The bloody bot.”

“Yeah.” Buffy squinted at the windshield, trying to see past the black smears and desperate for this conversation to be over. Why had she even started it in the first place? It wasn’t as though being stuck in a car with Spike made her obliged to talk to him. “Willow got it mostly working again.” There was a long silence. Buffy heard one song end and another begin, although she couldn’t tell what was playing. It wasn’t the vampire song band, she was pretty sure. Spike had switched tapes after they’d stopped for dinner near Boise, where she’d managed to find an internet café.

“I didn’t mean for you to ever find out about her,” Spike said eventually.

“Don’t,” Buffy whispered, her heart sinking. They’d been getting along just fine for the last couple of hours, so of course she’d had to go and ruin it. “I shouldn’t have brought it up, Spike. I don’t want to talk about it.”

He continued on anyways, a desperate note in his voice she hadn’t heard since he’d chained her up with Drusilla. “I didn’t…I know it was wrong, but I thought…she wasn’t just-”

“I know, Spike,” she interrupted. Buffy closed her eyes and curled up against the passenger door, deciding that even if she wasn’t tired, now was a good time to try and sleep. She hated thinking about that creepy robot. The first time she’d seen it she’d felt physically ill, but the longer she spent with it, and the more Spike talked about it, the more she just felt…sad.

It was like he’d had the robot built to love him, but he wasn’t supposed to want things like that. She couldn’t even imagine what Angelus would have done to a robot-likeness of her. Buffy shuddered. Not for the first time, she wondered why Spike hadn’t gone with Drusilla when his sire had briefly come back to town. Everyone else Buffy knew who’d claimed to love her had walked away. Spike could have left without a backwards glance. She probably even would have been glad, at first, although Sunnydale wouldn’t have been the same without him. And she wouldn’t have someone to help her now.

Spike was drumming a nervous pattern on the steering wheel. Buffy couldn’t stop picturing the robot’s vapid, cheerful smile. “She wasn’t like me at all,” she blurted out. Spike’s drumming stopped but he didn’t reply. Buffy hugged her knees, her head against the car door. It smelled faintly of cigarettes. “She was all sickeningly nice.”

Spike let out a snort but didn’t speak. The silence stretched out for so long, she felt her eyelids get heavy. The hum of the tires on the pavement was soothing. Buffy was almost asleep when Spike finally replied. “Seen you be plenty nice to people who don’t deserve it,” he said softly.

 _But not to me._ Buffy silently finished the sentence for him and felt guilt wash over her. He’d been trying for a while now to be better, and even thought his attempts had been horribly clumsy she’d never deigned them worthy of notice until she’d needed his help. Would she even have bothered if she hadn’t decided to get Dawn out of Sunnydale?

It was just so hard to believe that he, as a vampire, was capable of change. Angel’s soul had to be what made him good, otherwise what did that say about him? Demons were bad, therefore Spike was bad. That was it, end of story. But Buffy knew that wasn’t entirely true, no matter how much she wanted to believe it. If it was, Spike wouldn’t be with them now. Maybe she was the one who couldn’t change.

Forget being full of love; all she felt was empty. The stupid robot had been more full of love than Buffy would ever be. She slid into sleep listening to Spike humming along to whatever was playing on the stereo.


	6. Scenic Route

Someone was shaking her gently and Buffy automatically tensed, her hands curling into fists. The tentative grip on her shoulder disappeared. “We’re here, pet.” Spike’s voice was low and cautious like he was gauging her mood.

Buffy took a moment to clear her mind. She’d been having a bad dream; the same one she’d had since her mom had died. In it, she was weak, useless, and Dawn was high above her, screaming something into the darkness while Buffy tried to scale a wall that seemed to grow taller with each excruciating inch that she managed to climb. When she finally opened her eyes, Spike was watching her warily.

“Where’s here?” Buffy asked to distract them both. It wasn’t a Slayer dream, she tried to assure herself, just a regular nightmare.

“Old Faithful Inn,” Spike said, giving her a tentative smile. “Thought it might go over with you two a sight better than a campground.”

Buffy felt her lips quirk up almost involuntarily. “Thank god, indoor plumbing.”

This time Spike’s smile was almost normal. “Let’s go find ourselves a room, yeah? Sun’ll be up in a while.” He climbed out of the car.

Dawn was yawning widely in the backseat. “I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry,” Buffy informed her. “I swear you’re like a bottomless pit.”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk, Miss I-just-finished-patrol-and-therefore-I-deserve-the-rest-of-the-pizza.”

“There were only two pieces left!”

“I was saving them for lunch and instead I had to eat cafeteria food!”

“School lunches are supposed to be terrible, it builds character.”

“Whatever, Grandma.”

Spike poked his head back inside the car. “Are you two coming or should I just start wafting the bacon scent in this direction?”

“Bacon?” Dawn said, perking up.

Buffy opened her door and almost stumbled over a pile of something slushy and wet. “Oh my god, is this snow?”

Spike stared at her in disbelief.

“I meant because it’s almost May! I’ve seen snow before, Spike.”

“Was a bit concerned for a second there, Slayer, you being a California girl and all.”

“Dad took us skiing a couple of times,” Buffy said defensively.

Spike raised an eyebrow.

“Fine, we went to a ski lodge a couple of times, but I’m still aware of the phenomenon known as snow.”

“That was a long time ago. Remember the awesome fort we built?” Dawn bent over to scoop up some snow before dropping it in disgust. “Ugh, it’s all dirty.”

Spike shook his head. “Christ, you two are hopeless. Stop playing with the snow and let’s get inside.”

Buffy and Dawn both scoffed before glancing at each other and grinning. Spike had their duffles slung over his shoulder, so Buffy moved to walk next to her sister, whispering in her ear. They almost waited until it was too late, trying to find some snow that wasn’t totally filthy. He was just opening the door, turning to shoo them inside when they threw their snowballs. Buffy’s hit him smack in the nose and Dawn’s glanced off his hip.

Dawn collapsed into the arms of her sister, both of them giggling uncontrollably, while the slush dripped off Spike’s chin. The vampire lifted his eyes to the heavens. “Just strike me down now. Hell would be less painful.” Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to remember the last time she’d actually had this much fun. If anyone had told her last week that she’d be enjoying a road trip with Spike, she would have declared them insane.

“Come on, Spike.” Dawn composed herself, then grabbed the vampire’s hand and dragged him into the lobby as Spike shook the remains of the snow from his face, glaring at her. “You love it, don’t lie.”

Buffy followed behind them both, still smiling. Maybe she could afford to let herself relax just a little bit, this far from home. It’d been a long time since she and Dawn had been on the same side of any fight that wasn’t life or death, and it felt kind of freeing. Besides, Spike really did seem to dote on Dawn, for some inexplicable reason, and Buffy had trusted him enough to turn to him for help more than once. Maybe things were a little more complicated than just vampire: bad, so Slayer stake, but she could think about the implications of that later, when her sister was safe.

Now that they were inside, Buffy could smell the bacon Spike had mentioned earlier and her stomach growled. This place looked way nicer than the motel they’d stayed in last night. She paused to watch her sister and the vampire arguing companionably about something, and took a moment to marvel at the scene. She would do almost anything to keep most vampires away from her family, but she had no such compunction about Spike. She never had. Angel might have a soul, but Spike had…something. She wasn’t quite sure what, but her instincts rarely steered her wrong. Besides, her mom had liked him, and that had to count for something.

Spike propped one hip against an imposing wooden counter, his hand slamming down onto an old-fashioned bell over and over again and making it ring incessantly. He stopped just as Buffy was about to yank the damn thing away from him, only to have the ringing taken up by Dawn. When her sister finally gave up, the lobby still only had the three of them in it. Buffy was just glad for the silence. Dawn flounced over to an overstuffed chair and threw herself into it, her arms crossed.

“This place sucks,” Dawn announced.

Buffy ignored her sister and moved to stand next to Spike, surveying the empty lobby in puzzlement. “Can we not check in now?”

Spike was leaning over the dark, polished wood ledge of the counter and poking through a scattered collection of papers. “Nah, says there’s supposed to be a night clerk on duty named, ah, Simon from Indiana.”

“His name is Simon from Indiana?” Buffy asked, amusement creeping into her voice.

Spike shot her a conspiratorial smile. She was starting to kind of enjoy being on the receiving end of them. “Looks like a lot of them have places after their names. Like exchange workers or something.”

“Can I help you?” Buffy started as a voice interrupted them. An older man with thinning grey hair was coming towards them with what she guessed was a cup of steaming coffee in his hand. She could really use some coffee, or some sleep. Her eyelids felt gritty. He frowned at the unmanned desk for a moment before slipping behind it. “So sorry, Simon from Indiana must have stepped out.”

“Need a room, mate,” Spike said gruffly. At least his bruises were mostly faded now, just the faintest hint of yellow remained. 

The man looked at the vampire, his polite smile unwavering. “Of course. Honeymooners?”

Buffy almost choked on her tongue, realizing she had inadvertently tucked herself right up against Spike while he’d been snooping through the stuff on the desk. Dawn gave a loud snort behind them, drawing the desk clerk’s attention. “Ah, family vacation then,” he corrected himself cheerfully. “Here’s a list of our available accommodations. Take your time.” He busied himself with an enormous ledger while Buffy tried to unstick her tongue from the roof of her mouth so she could straighten out this guy’s misconceptions.

Dawn was yawning loudly from her chair as Spike perused the list the man had handed him. The vampire’s eyes widened more and more the further down he read. “What?” Buffy whispered distractedly. Maybe she shouldn’t correct the check-in guy. A family vacation was normal, right? That would be good cover in case Glory’s creepy minions were looking for them.

“Uh, maybe we should be camping after all, pet.”

“What?” Buffy grasped his wrist and pulled the list closer, taking in the various room arrangements. “Ooh, a suite-” she started, before the Spike’s tapping finger drew her eyes to the price listed beside it. “Uh-oh.” She bit her lip and glanced over her shoulder at Dawn, who was lounging in the chair behind them, looking bored. “Maybe we can swing a night or two?” she whispered, looking up at Spike.

The vampire sighed. “Yeah, okay, but we have to be careful. Not sure how long we’re going to have to make our dosh last, Slayer.”

“I know, thanks.” Buffy absently squeezed the hand he was holding the list with before letting go. Spike looked at her in surprise and then his face relaxed into a fond expression. Buffy averted her eyes and felt a flush creeping up her neck.

“Did you decide?” the man behind the desk asked. Buffy had almost forgotten he was there.

“Yeah, uh, Jimmy.” Spike glanced at the man’s name tag. “We’ll just have this one.” He pointed to one of the cheapest options, a single room with two beds, and Buffy didn’t even bother protesting this time. There was no way they could afford two rooms here. She vaguely listened to Spike make arrangements for them while she tried to calculate how long the money she’d pulled out of her mom’s emergency account would last, jumping slightly when he laid a hand on her arm to draw her attention. “Pet?”

“Hm?” Buffy turned back to the desk.

Jimmy smiled his professional smile at her. “They’ll start serving breakfast in about five minutes if you’re hungry.”

Buffy smiled back distractedly. “Thanks.”

Spike picked up their bags again. “Come on, bit, let’s get the bottomless pit of you fed.”

Dawn climbed to her feet. “God, finally.”

Buffy accepted the room keys from Jimmy before following Spike and Dawn across the lobby. The sky was just starting to lighten outside and she could make out trees and mountains and more piles of snow. The whole interior of the lodge was covered top to bottom in rich, dark wood that made the place feel warm and cozy, even though the room was large and the ceilings soaring.

They were the first ones in the dining room, but soon other early risers started trickling in. Spike stayed uncharacteristically quiet while Buffy and Dawn inhaled a decent amount of food before the sun breeched the horizon. They all watched the landscape outside go from black to grey to muted color.

“It’s pretty here,” Dawn said through a mouthful of bacon.

“Getting a bit bright for my taste.” Spike lifted one corner of his mouth in a slight smile and fidgeted with his coffee cup. Buffy had felt him watching her for most of breakfast, but she wasn’t sure what he was looking for. It was just natural for them to get along, since they were stuck with each other for who knew how long, wasn’t it? He was helping, and she was grateful, that was all.

“Time to get the vampire to bed, Dawn.” Buffy stood and stretched her arms high overhead. She caught Spike’s lifted eyebrow. “Don’t even,” she said as he opened his mouth. He settled back into his chair, smirking, and she attempted unsuccessfully to hide her smile, glad to be back in familiar territory with him.

Dawn yawned again and pushed her empty plate away. “Ugh, I’m so glad I don’t have to sleep in the back seat anymore.” She led the way to their room, up two flights of stairs and through another dark paneled hallway with landscapes covering the walls. The room itself was less oppressive, just the ceiling was covered in dark wood and the walls were painted a soothing cream color. Spike tossed their bags onto the bed closest to the window and claimed the other, shucking off his jacket and settling back against the pillows almost immediately. His boots thumped onto the floor in rapid succession.

“Keep it down, bit,” was all the vampire said as his eyes slid closed.

Buffy and Dawn took turns in the bathroom—this one was way nicer than the last one—changed into their pajamas, and went to stare out the window for a minute as the sky lightened. There were trees everywhere. Buffy hadn’t realized they came in so many shades of green. There was a distant glimmer of what might be water through the branches.  

“It is pretty,” Buffy admitted, her arm wrapped around her sister’s shoulders.

“This was a good idea, huh?” Dawn looked pleased with herself.

Buffy smiled at her. “Yeah, seems like.”

“When do you think we’ll see a buffalo?”

“Maybe later.” Buffy was the one who yawned this time. “Let’s get a little sleep first.” She tugged the curtains closed.

Dawn crawled into bed, leaving the side closest to the door for Buffy. Buffy almost asked her sister to move over so that Dawn was between her and Spike, but she told herself to stop being petty.

Buffy lay there for a long time, listening to Dawn’s tiny snores and watching Spike sleep on the bed next to theirs. He had pulled the quilt partially over himself, but he was still fully dressed. She wondered if he always slept like that, or if he’d forgotten pajamas, or if maybe he just slept without…her face got hot as her thoughts strayed somewhere they really, really shouldn’t and she tried to think of something else.

Occasionally, Spike’s chest would rise and fall like he forgot he didn’t need to breathe, even in sleep. His face was peaceful, relaxed, and she studied it for a long time. If he was a man, Buffy silently admitted, she would be immensely flattered that he cared for her.

Except he was a vampire, and he wasn’t supposed to care at all. 


	7. Detour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive thanks to Sunalso who won't stop poking me about this. I'm sloooowly working on the end, but it'll get there eventually.

A low, tinny noise penetrated her consciousness. Buffy swatted at whatever it was and hoped it wasn’t a giant bug. She smushed her face into the pillow. “Go away,” she grumbled. The noise didn’t go anywhere.

Slowly, she lifted her head and cracked open one bleary eye. Dawn was sitting on the bed next to her, flipping through a magazine and nodding along to something she was listening to on her headphones with the volume high enough for Buffy to hear. Great, now she was going to have to lecture her sister about the dangers of loud music. She was the oldest 21-year-old ever.

Buffy buried her face back in the pillow and groaned.

“Bit.” Spike’s voice was low and raspy. “Turn down whatever the hell you’re listening to, it’s making my ears bleed.”

Dawn looked up and pulled one earpiece away from her head. “What?” she asked, her voice loud in the quiet room.

Buffy pushed herself up on her elbows. “Music, Dawn. Too loud.”

Dawn scowled at her. “Are you guys going to sleep all day?”

“I’m a vampire,” Spike said exasperatedly, dragging a pillow over his head. “I’m supposed to sleep all day.” His voice was muffled but his indignation was clear.

Buffy bit her lip to keep from laughing and Dawn let out a giggle before turning down the volume on her Walkman. Buffy yawned so wide her jaw cracked and pushed herself up the rest of the way. Dawn was watching her expectantly. “I’m up, just give me a few, okay?”

Her sister nodded, seemingly satisfied, and went back to her magazine. Buffy couldn’t hear the music anymore, which she took as a sign that Dawn wasn’t going deaf anytime soon. She glanced over at Spike, who was sprawled out on his back. His long legs stretched all the way to the foot of the bed and his arms were wrapped tightly around the pillow he had over his face, making his shirtsleeves ride up and exposing his biceps. Idly, Buffy wondered if he did calisthenics whenever he was bored or if those muscles were from some kind of vampire magic.

She tilted her head musingly before realizing she’d just been staring at Spike and his arms for a while, and that her sister was in the room to tattle on her. Warily, Buffy cut her eyes to Dawn, who seemed engrossed in whatever she was reading. Buffy relaxed and slipped out of bed, padding over to where she’d left her bag last night. She’d just take a quick shower and then she and Dawn could go out and…look at buffalos or whatever. Obviously, she’d been cooped up with Spike for way too long.

***

It was enormous.

And smelly. She imagined. She was seriously hoping not to get close enough to find out. 

Beside her, Dawn was staring, her face the picture of disgust. “Is it supposed to be moldy?”

Buffy leaned forward slightly, peering around the rest of the passengers on their guided tour who were all huddled on one side of the bus and hanging out the windows trying to get a good photograph. “I think those are just, like, leaves or something.”

“I thought they were going to be cuddly,” Dawn pouted.

Buffy raised her eyebrows at her sister. “Cuddly?”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “I mean, at least look cuddly. Those bears were super cute, even though we weren’t allowed to get off the bus to see them either.”

“Bears are so not cuddly, trust me.” Buffy shuddered, thinking of the first and last Thanksgiving she’d tried to host when she’d had to fight that vengeful spirit-turned-bear. Spike had been there, too. It seemed like he was always lurking in the corners of her memories. 

“At least bears don’t look like cows too dumb to get sticks out of their fur.” Dawn slumped back in her seat.

Buffy watched one of the other tourists elbowing his way to a prime camera spot as the buffalo leisurely snacked on some roadside weeds. “We should have gone to a zoo. I bet they’re cleaner there.”

“Animals deserve to be free, Buffy.” The ‘duh’ at the end of Dawn’s sentence was clearly implied.

“You loved the zoo when we were kids! You used to beg Dad to take us all the time.”

“Well, that was before I knew the stuff I do now!” Dawn crossed her arms. “Jeez, people are allowed to change without your permission, you know.”

Narrowing her eyes, Buffy glanced over at her sister, but Dawn’s face was the picture of innocence. It didn’t fool her for one minute. “Sure, people are,” Buffy replied cautiously. “Emphasis on people.”

“Spike’s people.” Dawn stared at her defiantly, buffalo forgotten. The tour guide was chatting with some people nearby about habitats or plants or something, but since Buffy wasn’t planning on starting a buffalo farm she was pretty sure she didn’t need to pay attention. Right now, she kind of wished Dawn wanted to, though.

“Spike’s a vampire,” Buffy said, keeping her voice low. “Not people.”

“He used to be,” Dawn continued stubbornly. “And even you have to admit he’s different, Buffy.”

“He got chipped! That’s not changing, that’s just adapting,” Buffy hissed, looking around. No one was paying them the slightest attention.

“Same dif.” Dawn shrugged. “The chip doesn’t make him do anything.”

“Except not kill people,” Buffy muttered.

“But he doesn’t have to do any of the other stuff he does,” Dawn went on, undeterred. “He didn’t have to help with Mom, or watch out for me, or…or let Glory hurt him so bad.”

Buffy winced and took a deep breath before replying. Spike did deserve some small recognition for the last part. She and Dawn certainly wouldn’t be stinky-buffalo-watching if Spike had told Glory who the key was. “Fine, yes, he’s been fairly non-evil lately, but that doesn’t mean we should just ignore everything else he’s ever done.”

Dawn muttered something under her breath that Buffy didn’t catch as the tour guide made an announcement over the loudspeaker about their next stop. She thought about asking Dawn to repeat it, but mostly she was just hoping they were done talking about Spike. It was hard enough to work up any real irritation toward him since they’d started this trip, she didn’t need her sister pointing out the obvious. Dawn stared out the window at the distant mountains, clearly in a snit, as Buffy settled back against her seat and wondered if any of the other Slayers had ever had to deal with little sisters.

The bus lurched to a stop on the side of the road, just in front of a crowded parking lot. Buffy and Dawn joined the exodus of people and headed up a well-marked, wooden walkway. There were kids and parents running everywhere, and it was hard to avoid accidentally ending up in other people’s family pictures. Buffy supposed she should get one of those disposable cameras if they were supposed to be playing tourist, but she wasn’t sure if they’d really want to remember this weird pseudo-vacation when it was over.

The sun was low enough in the sky that it kept dipping behind the surrounding hills. It was definitely colder here than it had been at home. They were going to have to stock up on some warmer clothes at some point.

Dawn stopped abruptly and gasped, grabbing Buffy’s arm. “Cool! Look at that!” They’d come over the crest of a hill and a large pond was spread out in front of them, but it was unlike anything Buffy had ever seen. The water contained all the colors of the rainbow, from a tropical blue to a rusty red and everything in between. Steam rose from the surface. A low, wooden fence kept people back, but it didn’t detract from the beauty of the pool, shining in the weak afternoon sunlight.

“Very cool,” Buffy agreed. She and Dawn found a spot to lean on the fence and take in their surroundings like they were just regular people. Buffy glanced over at her sister’s awestruck face. Her mom would have loved to have seen this.

Dawn leaned her head against Buffy’s shoulder. “Do you think it looks this pretty at night?”

“I doubt it,” Buffy said quietly, staring at the pool.

“We should get a camera or something,” Dawn said. “So we can show Spike.”

Buffy let out a shaky laugh. “I don’t think he’d care, Dawn.”

Dawn frowned, picking up her head again. “Yes, he would. He’s the one who suggested coming here in the first place. I bet he’d think it was really neat.”

“We’ll see, Dawn.”

Dawn turned to her, brow furrowed. “Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?”

“Pretend like Spike doesn’t have feelings?” 

“I don’t do that!” Buffy said, indignant.

“You do it all the time!” Dawn retorted. “Why’d you even ask him to come if you hate him so much?”

Buffy felt her face flush. “Because we need his help, Dawn. Remember Glory? And I don’t  _hate_  him.”

“Why didn’t you call Angel?” Dawn wrinkled her nose when she said Angel’s name like she smelled something bad. Buffy suspected her sister had picked that up from Spike. Wrapping her hands tightly around the wooden post in front of her, Buffy stared out at the pool. The center of it was so clear and blue it almost looked unreal. She tried, and failed, to imagine being on this trip with Angel.

There’d been a lot of things she’d been avoiding thinking about lately, and Angel was right at the top of the list. When he’d appeared after her mother’s funeral she’d been surprised and then grateful that he’d shown at all. But as the night wore on and the silence stretched out she’d had a moment of clarity. He wasn’t ever going to make room for her in his life. And he’d never really fit into hers. Whatever they’d had…it was gone. The knowledge might have stung, once, but it dulled in comparison to her mother’s death. The First Slayer was right, love was pain, and Buffy really didn’t see the point in risking it again.

“Angel wasn’t an option,” Buffy said softly. Her problems weren’t his problems anymore, if they ever had been.

There was a long silence. Their tour guide was giving a lecture not far away, gesturing at the pool and the surrounding hills. 

“Oh,” Dawn finally said. She leaned her head against Buffy’s shoulder again. “Sorry, Buffy.”

“It’s okay,” Buffy said automatically, her grip loosening. The wood had cracked beneath her hands. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll keep you safe.”

“I know,” Dawn whispered. “But who’s going to keep you safe?”

Buffy wrapped her arm around her sister’s shoulders. “Don’t worry about me. Slayer, remember?”

Dawn let out a long sigh. “Did you ever think maybe Angel’s the weird one?”

“What?” Buffy asked, startled.

“Like, maybe the whole soul thing happened because he was so evil he needed it more than other vampires, you know? That’s why he can’t love without it.”

Buffy had no idea how to respond to that. “I don’t think…”

“It just doesn’t seem fair, that’s all,” Dawn rushed on. “Maybe Spike wasn’t always good, but he’s trying, and that has to count for something, right?” She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. “I mean, if someone used to be bad, that doesn’t mean they’re doomed forever, does it?”

“Dawn,” Buffy said worriedly. “What’s are you talking about?”

Dawn sniffled a little. “I’m not evil, am I?” she asked so quietly Buffy almost missed it.

“What?” Buffy pulled back in alarm and brushed Dawn’s hair out of her face. “No, of course not! Why would you think that?”

Staring at the ground, Dawn shrugged. “I’m not even real, or, I wasn’t real. I was just some blob of energy or whatever and I don’t think, if I open some hell-portal, that I can be good.” She raised her face as one big tear snaked down her cheek, finally meeting Buffy’s eyes. “But do you think I could try?”

 Buffy yanked her sister close and hugged her tight, ignoring all the stares they were getting from the people around them. Everyone else could go back to their stupid pictures or whatever, this was important. Buffy missed her mom so much it hurt. She’d just have to do her best to say the right things. “You are not evil,” she said as firmly as she could. “You, Dawn Summers, can be whatever you want to be.” She felt Dawn relaxing in her embrace. “It doesn’t matter what you were before, you’re my sister and I believe in you, okay?”

Dawn nodded against Buffy’s shoulder. “Okay.” Her voice was muffled. “But can you let me breathe?”

“Oh! Sorry.” Buffy released her and Dawn let out a tiny laugh.

“I can’t believe Riley never complained about your crazy-strong hugs.” Dawn’s expression immediately turned guilty. “Um, I mean…shoot, sorry. I know I’m not supposed to mention him anymore.”

Buffy attempted a smile. “It’s okay. I think I’m mostly past the no-naming-of-the-ex stage.” She shrugged. “And he did, sometimes. I guess just not around you.”

Dawn gave her a sympathetic look. “Well, he was a stupidhead.”

This time Buffy’s smile came easier. “He totally was.”

“Hey,” Dawn tugged on the sleeve of Buffy’s jacket. “I think we’re leaving.” She gestured at the bus, where people were starting to file back on. The tour guide had one hand over her eyes to shade them and was peering in their direction. They headed back to the bus, their hands stuffed in their pockets as the wind picked up. “We need hats,” Dawn complained.

“We’ll get some when we get back,” Buffy promised.

That seemed to cheer Dawn up even more than hearing she wasn’t evil. Buffy wondered if she’d been such an emotional roller coaster when she was Dawn’s age. She so owed Giles an apology. They filed onto the bus and found a couple open seats.

“Did you see the tracks?” the woman in front of them turned around to ask as the bus pulled away.

Dawn shook her head. “No, what tracks?” 

The woman clucked her tongue in disappointment. “Oh, that’s too bad, they were from some kind of dinosaur that used to live around here. I can never keep all those names straight. Even the tour guide wasn’t sure.” She gave them both a kind smile. “Maybe you two can go back and see them later. Kids just love that kind of thing, don’t they?” The last she directed at Buffy.

“Sure,” Buffy agreed, nodding. The woman turned around.

“I’m not a kid,” Dawn muttered, slumping back in her seat. Buffy resisted rolling her eyes and instead turned her attention out the window. Hillsides covered in trees with occasional meadows to break them up slid by as they headed back to the lodge. She’d never say it out loud, but this whole wilderness thing might have something going for it after all. Well, as long as she could wash her hair indoors with plenty of hot water. And they didn’t have to look at any more buffalos.

***

The sun was behind the hills and casting long shadows when they got back to the hotel. The tour guide was giving one last lecture about something, but Buffy had long stopped paying attention. She caught sight of the gift shop across the lobby and nudged Dawn, but her sister just shushed her, her eyes wide.

“Dawn,” Buffy whispered.

“What?” Dawn hissed impatiently, listening intently to the tour guide. Some copies of a brochure were being passed around, which Dawn immediately became engrossed in.

“Let’s go wake up Spike, then we can get some hats, okay?” Buffy said quietly.

Dawn didn’t even look up. “Yeah, okay.”

Buffy sighed and headed up the stairs to their room with Dawn trailing behind her. She paused halfway there to put a hand on her sister’s shoulder and steer her around a potted plant. She sincerely hoped that pamphlet wasn’t for something X-rated. “Hey, listen to this,” Dawn said enthusiastically as Buffy rummaged through her pockets for the key outside their door. “Old Faithful is a cone geyser that erupts at regular intervals and can reach up to 160 feet.”

“Uh huh,” Buffy said absently, pushing open their door. She stopped dead in her tracks a moment later.

“Yellowstone is home to more geysers than anywhere else on earth,” Dawn continued, following Buffy into the room and stopping behind her, but Buffy was having difficulty concentrating on her sister’s words.

Apparently, they had the worst timing ever. A barefoot Spike was emerging from the bathroom wearing only a pair of low-slung jeans while he rubbed at his hair with a towel. Or maybe she had the best timing ever. Buffy’s eyes drifted down his pale torso to the waistband of his jeans and back up again. His skin was dotted with fading bruises but that didn’t detract from his very nice chest. Or abdomen. Or the way his jeans clung precariously to his hipbones like they were just a hairsbreadth from slipping down and…

“…has over one million recorded eruptions and each one can be reliably calculated…” Dawn’s voice broke in, reminding Buffy of where she was.

Blushing, Buffy averted her eyes. Spike smirked and she guessed her once over hadn’t gone unnoticed. He tossed the towel onto his bed and leisurely picked up a t-shirt, his eyes squarely on her while Dawn droned on about boiling water and underground something or others.

“Um, hey,” Buffy squeaked. She stopped to clear her throat as Spike pulled his shirt over his head and tugged it down, obscuring his chest. She was almost disappointed, except she wasn’t supposed to be looking in the first place. He lifted a hand to smooth back his wet hair, revealing a stripe of pale skin at his waistband. Buffy was almost certain her face was going to catch fire if it got any warmer.

“We have to go!” Dawn said excitedly. “Can we? Please? The sign in the lobby said the next one was in like, a half hour, and the sun’s almost down!”

Spike shrugged while Buffy tried to find her voice. “Sure, bit. Sounds like quite a show.” His smirk returned as he glanced at Buffy. “Don’t you think, love?”

“Um.” Buffy avoided the vampire’s gaze. “We just came to get you for dinner.”

“But first we’re going to see Old Faithful, right?” Dawn asked.

“What?” Buffy caught sight of her sister’s mutinous face and remembered that Spike had just agreed to something and she probably should too. She hoped it wasn’t something that required a lot of brain power, since hers was apparently on the fritz. “Oh, of course.”

Dawn squealed in glee and clutched the pamphlet she was holding to her chest while Spike disappeared into the bathroom again. He emerged with his hair slicked back like normal before quickly slipping his boots on, which apparently required a lot of bending over. Buffy took a keen interest in one of the paintings on the wall, showing her pretty much the same scene she’d admired earlier from the bus window.

“Ready?” Dawn asked eagerly. “Come on, Buffy and I need hats.”

Spike picked up his coat, hesitated, and set it back on his bed. “Yeah, let’s go,” he replied. Buffy felt like the air in the room was too warm, but that was probably because she and Dawn had been outside for a while. She led the way out of the room so she didn’t accidentally stare at Spike anymore, listening to her sister chatter on about their tour of the park.

Stinky buffalos she could deal with, but Spike was something else entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Shout out to zoos around the world who do great work for endangered species and education! Dawn's just a burgeoning environmentalist.


	8. Off the Map

“How about this one?” Spike held up a dowdy, oversized t-shirt clearly not meant for the teenage demographic. 

“Ugh!” Dawn scowled at him. “Stop helping, Spike. That’s worse than the other one.”

“But it’s got your buffalo on it,” Spike said, clearly enjoying himself. Buffy tried to hide her smile by turning away to look at the kitschy knick-knacks on the display beside her. There was a little ‘Dawn’ Yellowstone keychain of course, but no ‘Buffy’. There was never a Buffy. Sighing, Buffy browsed through the earring display without even looking at the prices. It wasn’t as if she could afford to splurge on a pair anyways. Even the super cute hoop ones with stones in all the colors of the rainbow like the pretty pool they’d seen, darn it.

“Stop it!” Dawn squealed, her tone belying that she wasn’t upset in the slightest. “I told you, I hate buffalos!”

“That’s not what I heard this morning,” Spike replied cheerfully. “Or yesterday, or the day before…”

Buffy started as a woman’s hand reached out to turn the earring display. “Oh, sorry.” Buffy backed up a half-step and realized it was the same woman who’d spoken to them on the bus. Buffy narrowed her eyes suspiciously, her fingers twitching as she considered pulling one of her stakes, but the lady just kept perusing the earrings, oblivious. She definitely wasn’t a scabby Glory minion, and Buffy had seen her walking around in full sunlight earlier, which meant she was probably just a tourist, not a vampire. Slightly disappointed about not being able to stake something, Buffy relaxed again.

“He’s very good with her,” the woman said softly, smiling at Buffy like they shared a secret.

“What?” Buffy asked, confused.

The woman dipped her chin at Dawn and Spike. “Blending families can be complicated, I know.”

“Oh,” Buffy said, trying to look less astonished. What was up with everyone assuming she was together with Spike? Did she look like the type of girl who was into leather and bleached hair? Because she so was not. He was as far from her type as she could possibly imagine. She just couldn’t figure out how to deflect this woman’s assumptions without sounding like a crazy person. “Uh…he’s not-”

“Oi, No fair! Slayer!”

Buffy looked up and saw Dawn advancing on Spike with a giant novelty pencil, grinning widely. Spike was trying to hide behind a sticker display. “God, they’re like children,” Buffy grumbled.

The woman laughed, watching as Dawn pretended to stake Spike while he held her at bay with a stuffed buffalo. “Keeps you young,” she said, smiling at Buffy. “Have a nice vacation.”

“Thanks, you too,” Buffy said distractedly as she moved to intercept Dawn and Spike’s standoff. “Knock it off, both of you!” she hissed. Other shoppers in the store were staring now, so she refrained from popping the vampire in the nose even though he clearly deserved it.

“She’s trying to dust me.” Spike pouted, his expression pathetic. Buffy found it very hard to maintain her stern façade as Dawn giggled beside her, leaning on the pencil like a cane. Her mirth faded as she caught sight of the price of the pencil Dawn was treating so carelessly.

“Dawn, stop harassing Spike and put that away.”

Dawn gasped and pointed at the now-smirking vampire, who probably hadn’t expected Buffy to take his side. “He started it!”

Buffy rubbed her temple, feeling a headache creeping up on her. “Please,” she said wearily. Spike had gotten to snooze the afternoon away while she and Dawn had stared at buffalos, and she was hungry, but they still hadn’t seen the big water thing or whatever Dawn had been excited about earlier. “We’re just here for hats.”

Dawn’s mouth turned down and she stomped off to put her pencil away before disappearing behind a rack of stocking caps.

“Here’s a nice one, pet.”

Buffy turned just as Spike offered her a screamingly pink winter hat with ‘Yellowstone’ emblazoned in enormous letters on the front of it. She lifted her eyebrows. “Seriously?”

Spike grinned unrepentantly. “At least it’s not a buffalo.” Buffy smiled despite herself.

“I like this one.” Dawn squeezed herself between them, modeling the same pink hat Spike had in his hands.

“Ah, wrong Summers,” Spike said solemnly. “My mistake.”

Buffy let out a tiny laugh before shaking her head at him, her irritation fading. “You should get a sweatshirt or something, Spike.”

“What?” He looked at her in confusion.

“I’m pretty sure the combination of your coat and that hair is some kind of demon beacon, but wandering around in this cold without a coat is even more conspicuous.”

“I’m not dying my hair, Slayer,” Spike growled.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t dream of touching your precious hair, Spike, I’m just saying maybe a little blending in is in order?”

Spike sighed loudly, looking unhappy. “Fine,”

Dawn squealed again, grasping his arm. “Ooh, I’ll help pick!” She dragged him over to the wall of sweatshirts as Buffy considered several knit caps with various pictures and sayings on them. Buffy wondered if she would look back on this later and remember these little moments of fun, or just the feeling of fear and worry curdling in her gut most of the time. She’d promised her mother that she’d keep her sister out of the clutches of a hellgod, and all she had was herself and a semi-reformed vampire to rely on. She felt her shoulders stoop under the weight of her invisible burden.

Pale, slender fingers plucked the stocking cap she’d been holding out of her hands. The hat was black with green stitching in the shape of a bear on the front. Spike smiled as he slipped it onto her head. “Perfect fit.” Buffy reached up, uncertain. It was definitely the least gaudy one she could find. Spike’s fingers traced along the embroidery. “Reminds me of the time you killed one.”

Buffy sucked in a breath, though she really shouldn’t be surprised. Of course he’d remember that Thanksgiving. But she’d never imagined that the Spike from back then would ever be looking at her the way he did now. She could see something shining in his eyes that made her want to hit him and rail at the Powers that Be about how unfair it all was. No one had ever looked at her quite like that, like she was the answer to everything. It took her breath away.

“It wasn’t real,” she mumbled, averting her eyes.

Spike gently grasped her chin and turned her face back towards him. “Fine, matches your eyes then.”

Buffy stared at him, unable to blink. In that moment, she wanted so badly to confess everything: her fear that she wouldn’t be able to fill her mother’s shoes, her worry about keeping her sister away from Glory, her guilt over abandoning her duties as the Slayer in Sunnydale for however long they were gone. She wanted to hand over all of it to Spike and let him carry it for a while. He probably wouldn’t even complain.

She didn’t realize a tear had escaped until Spike’s thumb wiped it off her cheek. His fingers were cool against her skin. Buffy drew in a steadying breath and stepped away. She wasn’t supposed to lean on him. He was a demon, and demons couldn’t be trusted. A tiny voice in the back of her head whispered that she’d relied on him more than once before, but she ignored it. “Sorry,” she said, hastily wiping her eyes.

Spike tilted his head, regarding her. The shadows of the bruises on his face were only visible if you knew where to look. “Nothing to be sorry for, Buffy.”

She nodded and pulled the hat off her head. “I’ll take this one. Did Dawn find you something that wasn’t pink?” She attempted a wry smile. His eyes were still soft as he watched her.

“Think so.”

“You’re going to get her the stuffed buffalo too, aren’t you?”

Spike grinned. “Gonna leave it in her bed.”

Buffy shook her head before she spotted something else she wanted to buy. “Oh my god, yeah, you’re the big bad. Go ahead; I’ll distract her for a minute.”

Spike smirked and wandered off to buy his souvenirs while Buffy picked out her surprise. Dawn joined her, her hands full of random tchotchkes that Buffy vetoed one at a time until Dawn was down to just one, plus her hat. “Please?” Dawn pleaded with her. “It’s not even for me!”

Buffy glanced at the item in Dawn’s hand, a colorful mug with the national park logo and a Smokey the Bear hat on it. She smiled a little. “Fine.” She let Dawn stack everything onto the counter, added a disposable camera at the last second, and winced only slightly at the total.

Spike was waiting for them in the lobby, wearing his new sweatshirt. It took Buffy a moment to reconcile his new image with the old one. His hair was fluffier than normal, probably from Dawn forcing him to try things on, and while he was in his usual black on black ensemble, the addition of the black hooded sweatshirt with ‘Yellowstone’ emblazoned across the front was startling. It almost looked ridiculous, except that he carried himself with the same confidence he always did, like he was daring someone to say something. Dawn, of course, dared.

“Nice sweatshirt.” Dawn smirked at him.

Spike narrowed his eyes. “Watch it, bit. Feeling a mite peckish.”

Buffy frowned. He’d drunk the last of the blood they packed last night and she’d forgotten until just now. It was probably too late to find a butcher shop, especially since she wasn’t sure how close the nearest town was. The park was bigger than she’d expected.

Spike seemed to catch her concern. “Nothing to worry about, Slayer, I’ll be a good boy.”

Buffy shot him a look.  “I wasn’t, Spike. I was just…nevermind.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Show’s gonna start soon. You two ready?” Dawn pulled on her hat and zipped up her coat. Buffy did the same, passing her bag to Spike so she could use both hands. “I’ll run the stuff upstairs.” He was gone before Buffy could protest. Dawn was already heading for the doors that led out to a huge stone patio and, after a moment’s hesitation, Buffy followed her. A few other families were heading outside as well. The last of the sunlight was rapidly fading.

Buffy settled herself next to Dawn on an outdoor bench that was one of many facing a big mound of dirt. “This is so cool,” Dawn said fervently. “Do you think we’ll get wet?”

“Um, I hope not. I don’t want to be a Buffy-popsicle,” Buffy said distractedly, glancing back towards the doors while her sister buried her nose in a familiar brochure. Was it weird that she really had been more concerned about Spike's stomach than any guest-snackage? Obviously, the chip wouldn’t let him hurt anyone, but she was still the Slayer. Shouldn’t it take longer for her to get so comfortable with vampire feeding habits?

Maybe she should go check on him, just in case. Buffy tried to think of an excuse to drag Dawn away from the geyser show, but couldn’t come up with anything plausible. Getting used to Spike’s company and maybe enjoying a peek of him shirtless was no reason to panic. He was there to help keep Dawn safe, and she was grateful, that was all. Buffy spotted the vampire as soon as he swung the door open and sauntered out. His hair flared white in the artificial lights as he crossed the patio.

Buffy also caught sight of a couple of teenage girls across the patio giggling behind their hands and watching him as he approached, finding her and Dawn easily despite the dim evening light. Dawn scooted over so he could sit between them and Buffy’s objection to that arrangement died on her lips when she saw the disappointed faces of the girls across the way. She shifted slightly so her arm came into contact with his. She felt him lean into her for a moment as he spoke with Dawn before turning towards her.

“Didn’t think you were the jealous type, pet,” he murmured in her ear, making her jump.

Buffy felt her face flush. “Don’t be ridiculous, I’m just trying to make sure you aren’t tempted to have a snack later.” 

Spike tapped his temple with one finger. “Chip,” he started irritably, then paused, his brow furrowing thoughtfully as he eyed her before turning back to Dawn. Buffy studiously ignored him and the way his thigh was pressing against hers, perusing the crowd while her sister chattered away. There were more people out than she expected, especially after dark in the cold. Several people were clutching Styrofoam cups full of something steaming, Buffy noticed enviously.

She saw two uniformed park rangers speaking seriously nearby. Another three rangers were clustered in a knot by the lodge doors. Buffy frowned and looked around again. She counted eight all together, and they all seemed more interested in keeping an eye on their surroundings than the small crowd. She nudged Spike in the ribs.

“Ow,” the vampire complained, scowling at her and rubbing his side. “What?”

Buffy guiltily remembered his bruises from earlier. She’d forgotten he wasn’t up to her usual rough handling just yet. She leaned towards him, keeping her voice low. “Does it seem like there are a lot of rangers here?”

Spike glanced around and she saw his eyes narrow. He turned his head so that his mouth was close to her ear, slipping an arm casually around her waist. “Eight of them for a crowd this size does seem a bit odd.”

Buffy stiffened but resisted pulling away from him. Because she didn’t want to draw attention to them, she told herself, trying to relax, not because the way his breath washed over her ear made her insides quiver. She could feel his fingers drawing slow circles on her hip. Dawn was still chattering on about Old Faithful. “What do you think, something demon-y?” Buffy asked under her breath.

Spike frowned and lifted his head for a moment before he turned back to her. She felt his nose nudge her temple. “Everyone seems human. There’s something else that smells off, but it’s old.”

Buffy nodded slightly, letting herself lean more fully against Spike’s side. She wondered if it was being away from Sunnydale or just being away from her friends that made it so easy for her to let her guard down around him. Or maybe it was just the tiny reminders of the torture he’d willingly suffered for her, and for Dawn.

Spike settled his arm more firmly around her, and she glanced at Dawn to see if her sister had noticed, surprised when she saw Dawn situated on the other side of the vampire in almost the same way. Dawn looked at Buffy and smiled. “We should have made him get a heated sweatshirt.”

Buffy laughed, surprising herself. “We’ll remember for next time.”

“Oh sure, because I’m just here to serve you two,” the vampire grumbled, sounding pleased.

“I think it’s starting!” Dawn sat up excitedly. Buffy remained where she was, letting the weight of Spike’s arm ground her, keeping her centered. It was nice to know, just for a moment, that someone else was just as capable of keeping Dawn out of harm’s way as she was. She settled her head against his shoulder as one of the park rangers began to recite all the facts Dawn had told them earlier.

Buffy closed her eyes and let herself drift, taking in the scent of Spike and the cold air and the soothing voice of the ranger. If she didn’t open them again she could almost think she was a normal girl, on a normal vacation, with a normal guy and a normal sister. Buffy snapped her eyes back open, feeling slightly guilty. Now wasn’t the time to play Anyone But Us. And besides, Willow would kill her if Buffy started including Spike in their game.

Almost to the minute, water bubbled up out of the earth and began to rise, culminating in a stream of rushing, steaming water that soared high overhead. Most of the audience gasped and clapped. Buffy sat up, putting some space between her and Spike. His hand slipped across her back almost in a caress before he removed it.

Dawn turned to them both as the gush of water slowed, grinning. “That was so awesome!”

The last of the water was bubbling up from the ground, and people were starting to head back inside, their voices fading as they walked away. Spike stayed beside her as Dawn bounced up and got as close as she could to where the geyser had originated. One of the rangers stopped to chat with her, and Buffy realized it’d been a long time since she’d heard Dawn be enthusiastic about anything. This entire trip was turning out to be full of surprises.  

“Alright there, Slayer?” Spike asked quietly.

“She’s having a lot of fun, isn’t she?”

They both watched Dawn for a moment, who was gesturing wildly over her head, probably about the how high the water had gotten. The ranger she was talking to laughed and nodded.

“Must be nice, being out here where no one sees her as anything but a normal girl,” Spike said.

 _It is nice,_ Buffy wanted to say, but it already felt too much like she was teetering on the edge of a cliff, and she wasn’t sure what would happen if she went over. “Yeah,” she said instead.

Spike stood and turned to her, tentatively extending his hand. “Dinner?”

Buffy looked up at the vampire who was her last hope for keeping Dawn safe, who seemed to understand her sister better than she did, and who somehow, over the last few days, had come to feel indispensable.

She reached out and slipped her hand into his, letting him tug her up from the bench. “Sounds good,” she said. Spike gave her fingers a gentle squeeze before his hand slipped away, and Buffy immediately stuffed her hands in her pockets to keep from taking it back.


	9. Animal Crossing

“It looks different at night.” Dawn had her chin propped up on her arms, leaning against the back door of Spike’s car with her window down so she could see their surroundings. All the windows in the car were down, although the windshield was still blacked out. It made for kind of a surreal—and chilly—sightseeing tour. Dawn had spent all of dinner regaling Spike with stories from their bus trip, which he’d been surprisingly interested in. Buffy had guiltily made a mental note to take a picture of that rainbow-colored pool before they left. “Oh, I think that’s where the elk were!” Dawn pointed to a wide meadow that Buffy couldn’t tell apart from any other meadow they’d passed.

Spike pulled the car over to the side of the road, the tires crunching on the dirt and gravel shoulder. They sat for a few minutes, watching, and were finally rewarded with some movement.

Buffy made a face as the moon lit up a shaggy set of shoulders and stubby horns. “Ugh, another buffalo.”

Spike chuckled, glancing over at her. She’d slid across the bench seat so she could peer past him into the moonlit meadow, although she’d resisted any actual contact. She was worried maybe she was getting a little too used to touching him. It was starting to seem normal and she had a feeling it would be hard to stop once they were home again. Her friends would expect pops to the vampire’s nose, but they would probably frown on anything approaching friendly contact.

“Can see how the two of you wouldn’t appreciate that particular beastie.”

“God, they look so stinky.” Buffy wrinkled her nose.

“Look!” Dawn’s voice rang out excitedly and Buffy followed her sister’s pointing finger. Outlined in the moonlight was the shape of an animal with huge antlers. “What’s that?”

“A moose, I think, bit,” the vampire replied.

“Cool! We didn’t see one of those earlier.”

Buffy smiled, enjoying the sight of her sister avidly watching the moose. Even if they’d only ended up here to escape a hellgod, at least Dawn was enjoying herself. Her sister’s new-found enthusiasm for all things nature was kind of surprising, but it was nice to see her smiling again. Buffy hoped that wherever their mom was, she was seeing this. She leaned her head against the seatback, her legs tucked up under her. She felt Spike’s hand brush against her knee and wondered how he always seemed to know when she needed a little extra support.

“It’s almost as big as that Gora demon, Spike, don’t you think?” Dawn asked, sounding amazed. “I mean, it doesn’t have more than one head but…” she trailed off.

Buffy furrowed her brow. “As big as a what-demon?” She turned her head and peered into the backseat. 

Dawn’s eyes were wide. She darted a look at Spike before looking out at the moose again. “Um, nothing?” she said unconvincingly.

Buffy shifted her attention to Spike. “What demon, Spike?” She was amazed at how calm her voice sounded, and she wasn’t sure why she was so surprised. Of course he’d been hiding something from her, something that had put Dawn in danger. Her stomach twisted uncomfortably. She pushed herself away from him, feeling the passenger door handle digging into her back. She never should have let herself trust him.

Spike winced and reached out one hand placatingly. “Buffy…”

“You let my sister near a demon bigger than that?” She knocked his hand away and pointed out the window at the distant moose, whose head lifted up like it could hear them. She supposed she had gotten louder.

“It wasn’t like that!” Spike protested. His expression was so earnest she almost believed him before tamping down on her uncertainty.

Buffy hated that she felt betrayed. Spike probably hadn’t even thought twice before letting Dawn tag along when he’d gone after some huge, dangerous demon. “It wasn’t like what?” Buffy hissed, dismayed to feel tears pressing against the back of her eyes. “She didn’t get hurt, so it wasn’t a big deal? That just means you were lucky, Spike! I can’t believe I ever-”

“It wasn’t him!” Dawn interrupted, leaning forward over the seat.

“Bit.” Spike’s voice was low. “Don’t. Your sis is right.”

“What?” Buffy asked, momentarily thrown.

“She’s not right!” Dawn said indignantly. “That’s not what happened. You’re just letting her be mad at you instead of me.”

“Bit,” Spike said again warningly.

“Ugh!” Dawn threw herself back against her seat, making the springs squeak alarmingly. The whole car shook briefly. The moose outside the windows was gone.

There was a long moment of silence as Buffy tried to gather her thoughts. She was missing something here, and she didn’t like that feeling one bit. “What happened?” she finally asked, her tone terse.

Spike sighed, reaching up to card a hand through his messy hair. “I shouldn’t have put her in danger, you’re right,” he said.

Buffy turned away so he wouldn’t see the disappointment she knew was written plain as day across her face. The night was still and cold, with the stars shining bright and far away. She felt so stupid for letting herself think of Spike as more than just the demon she knew he was, even for a moment.

“I made him go,” Dawn said into the silence. “I don’t care if you want to be mad at me, too. He didn’t put me in danger, Spike got hurt trying to protect me. I would have gone without him anyways.” She leaned forward over the seat again as Buffy twisted around so she could see her sister.

“Dawn,” she sighed. “Why would you-”

“It was for a spell. I needed a Gora egg.”

“A spell?” Buffy asked, bewildered. “What kind of-”

“It was dumb, just something to make school easier,” Dawn said quickly. Buffy didn’t miss the way her sister glanced at Spike, as though including him in the apology. “Um, but it didn’t work.”

Spike was slumped against the driver’s side door. “Doesn’t matter, I shouldn’t have helped,” he said quietly. Buffy eyed him curiously, but his defeated posture seemed entirely genuine. Sometimes he was more confusing than any actual human she knew. 

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Please, you can’t even take candy from a baby anymore. Like you could have stopped me.”

“Hey!”

Buffy bit her lip to keep from smiling at Spike’s offended frown, because she was still mad at both of them for keeping this from her. Still, the knot in her belly loosened a bit. “Dawn, you know you’re not supposed to mess with magic,” she said automatically. “After last time…”

Dawn laid her head on the top of the front seat, her arms dangling between Spike and Buffy. “I know it was a bad idea, but it wasn’t Spike’s fault, okay?”

Spike was watching them cautiously as Dawn waited, her expression pleading. Buffy’s indignation eased further. “I wish you’d told me,” she said reluctantly.

“We just did,” Dawn said with the hint of a smile.

Buffy shot her a look. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah.” Dawn sounded contrite, though who knew how long that would last. “But everything turned out fine, so we’re all good now, right?” Buffy lifted both eyebrows. “And I won’t do it again,” Dawn added hastily. 

Glancing over at an uncharacteristically subdued Spike, who’d apparently been getting beat up to protect Dawn for even longer than she’d been aware of, Buffy felt the last of her anger slip away. The memory of the bruises dotting his torso rose unbidden in her mind. Dawn was safe with him. Even if Buffy…if something happened to her, he’d still be around. If there was one thing she’d learned about Spike, it was that he was incapable of quietly disappearing. “Yeah,” she said softly. “We’re good.”

Dawn let out a relieved sigh. “Great. Um, also I think that buffalo’s coming this way and we’re not supposed to get that close to them. Sometimes they get mad and charge stuff.”

Spike immediately straightened up and peered out the window while putting the car into gear. “Christ, that would’ve been good to know earlier, bit.” He steered the car back onto the road and Buffy glanced over her shoulder, spotting a buffalo silhouetted in the middle of the road as they drove away. She lost sight of it as they went around a corner.

There wasn’t any music playing, making the silence that much more noticeable. Buffy opened her mouth more than once, but couldn’t figure out what to say. So many emotions were chasing each other around in her head she couldn’t settle on just one.

She hated that Dawn had kept something so big from her, and hated even more that Spike had known about it when Buffy hadn’t. Wasn’t she supposed to be the one that Dawn relied on? But instead, apparently, her sister had gone to Spike. It hurt, knowing they’d had a secret she wasn’t in on. And, in a dark corner of her brain that she didn’t want to acknowledge, she was a little jealous. Dawn never seemed to have any doubts about relying on Spike, but that was a luxury Buffy wasn’t allowed. 

Buffy peeked at the vampire out of the corner of her eye. He was steering the car around another corner, his elbow propped on the door frame and his body relaxed. He looked so…content, just sitting there, driving them around, like he couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else.

Dawn had been right, earlier, when she’d accused Buffy of pretending Spike didn’t have feelings of his own. Buffy knew he did. She saw them every time he looked at her. It was just that they weren’t supposed to be there at all, and if she acknowledged them that would mean admitting some things she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Still, it shouldn’t have hurt so much to think she couldn’t trust him. Why couldn’t anything ever stay the same?

Turning her attention back to the scenery outside, Buffy tried to distract herself. “Is this where the bears were?”

“No, they were back the other direction,” Dawn said absently.

“Bloody bears,” Spike muttered under his breath. Buffy glanced over and found herself meeting his tentative smile with one of her own.

They wound up a quiet mountain road at a leisurely pace, the cold blowing in through the open windows mitigated by the overworked car heater and Buffy’s new winter hat. The trees glowed in the starlight, their leaves glinting pale silver. The animals seemed to have mostly hidden themselves away for the night, but there was still plenty to admire.

“This place is cool,” Dawn said softly, leaning out the window with her face turned up toward the sky.

Buffy’s hand seemed to slide across the seat of its own accord as she watched the trees through her open window. She wrapped her fingers around Spike’s hand, giving a gentle squeeze of thanks. She felt him turn his hand up, their palms pressing together briefly before she reluctantly pulled her hand back.

The drive back to the inn was uneventful, although Buffy did count four ranger vehicles between their last stop and the hotel turnoff. Spike glanced at her after seeing the second marked jeep and shrugged, silently telling her he’d noticed too. Buffy was glad to see the bright lights of the lodge as they pulled into the parking lot. Most of the guest windows were dark.

Dawn climbed out of the backseat and tucked her hands into her pockets, shivering. “Isn’t it almost May?”

“Californians,” Spike sighed. Buffy, her hands also stuffed in her pockets and her hat pulled down over her ears, aimed a kick at his shin that he danced out of the way to avoid, laughing. “Getting slow, Slayer. Must be your advancing years.”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk about advancing years, vampire.”

“How old are you, anyways, Spike?” Dawn asked as they crossed the parking lot.

Spike shrugged. “Hundred and twenty.”

“I thought you said you’d been a vampire for over a hundred years?”

Spike furrowed his brow. “Yeah, I just said: a hundred and twenty.”

“But what about your human years? How come you don’t count those?”

“Because that’s none of your business, that’s why.”

“When’s your birthday?”

“Also none of your business.”

“Were you born in London?”

“Slayer, make her stop!”

“Or you could just tell her,” Buffy replied, amused. She was a little curious herself. Spike had told her bits and pieces of his past before, but she suspected his stories had been highly embellished.   

“How old were you when you became a vampire?” Dawn persisted.

“If you stop asking I will buy you something shiny,” Spike said desperately.

“Okay!” Dawn replied cheerfully. She started humming something under her breath.

Buffy smirked at Spike. “Played right into her hands.”

“Bloody bints.”

They crossed the lobby together as Jimmy looked over the check-in counter in surprise. His eyes darted to the front doors and he looked nervous. “I didn’t realize y’all had gone out.”

Buffy came to a halt and furrowed her brow. “Is something wrong?” she asked, watching Jimmy closely. Spike and Dawn waited for her by the staircase, Spike nudging her little sister up a couple of steps.

“What? No, of course not!” Jimmy’s professional smile was a hair on the panicked side.

Buffy nodded slowly, catching Spike’s eye as they climbed the stairs and headed to their room. He lifted his chin slightly, letting her know he’d overheard them.

She’d known they wouldn’t be able to run forever, but Buffy found herself more disappointed than she’d expected that their sightseeing was about to be cut short. She could only hope that it wasn’t Glory who’d found them. Spike was leading the way, and she didn’t miss the way he eyed each door suspiciously on the way down the hall, though Dawn seemed oblivious.

No more pretending they were just like everyone else on vacation. She was the Slayer, and that was never going to change. 


	10. Roadside Attraction

They entered the hotel room in silence and Dawn claimed the bathroom first, still oblivious to the changed mood.

“She’ll be fine, Slayer,” Spike said softly, sinking down onto the end of his bed as the shower turned on.

Buffy drew in a deep breath, her arms wrapped around her torso. “Do you think it’s…?” She couldn’t finish her sentence, her voice shaky. If Glory had already tracked them down, what hope did they have of keeping Dawn away from her until after the ritual window?

“No idea, pet, they could just be worried about a bloody great bear.” Spike shot her a half-smile that made her heart thump a little faster.

“Then I guess we know who’s going to run first.” Buffy relaxed a little and sat down next to him. She pulled her hat off her head and stuffed it into one of her jacket pockets.

Spike’s smile grew. “We’ll check things out in a minute, yeah? Leave little sis out of sight with the weapons. Demons won’t want to go through all the rooms, there’s too many humans who’ll raise an alarm. Dawn’ll be safe in here and guaranteed that hellbitch isn’t going to be searching herself, not when she’s got minions for that.”

“We killed some of them, though, when we went to find you,” Buffy said doubtfully. She felt that twinge again, the guilty one that reminded her she’d planned to dust the very person who’d nearly sacrificed himself for her family, the one helping her now without a second thought. She shifted on the bed, her shoulder brushing against Spike’s in a silent apology. “She might not have many left.”

Spike snorted and waved a hand. “Minions are a dime a dozen, used to stake ‘em for fun.” Buffy lifted her eyebrows. “Uh, I mean…bugger.”

Buffy found it hard to resist smiling, taking in his glum expression. Without the backdrop of her usual Sunnydale routine, it was easier to notice all the ways Spike really had changed. It was strange to think that she might have missed it if she hadn’t ended up stuck with him hundreds of miles from home. An ache lodged itself into her chest. She missed home. It hadn’t been the same since her mom had died, but she still felt safer there than anywhere else in the world. She wished she hadn’t had to take Dawn away from it. Especially if it’d all been in vain.

“Slayer? You with me?”

Buffy shook herself out of her reverie. “Sorry, just…” She tried to come up with something that wouldn’t give away too much of her inner turmoil, about him especially. “Just missing my mom.”

Spike’s face fell. “Ah, love, I’m sure you do.” His voice was low and quiet. She might even have called it remorseful. Everything she’d learned about vampires had taught her that was impossible, but Spike never had been very good at following the rules.

Buffy shifted slightly away from him. “I’ll be fine.”

A tentative hand settled on the small of her back. “Know you will, Buffy. Doesn’t make the grieving any easier.” His gentle voice caused something to bubble up in her chest. She fought to remain composed. Now wasn’t the time to cry over her mother, even though tears always seemed to be simmering just below the surface. She could fall apart later, after making sure her sister was safe.

“I’ll be fine,” she repeated, trying to sound more sure. “I just wish…Dawn shouldn’t have just me.”

Spike cocked his head to the side. “Suppose that’s one way to look at it.”

“What do you mean?” Buffy turned to face him and his hand dropped down to settle on her hip. Even though she knew it was impossible, she would swear she could feel heat from his hand burning through her clothes. She undid a couple of coat buttons.

“She’s got you.” Spike’s lips quirked up at the corners. “And everyone who comes with you. Those friends of yours, the Watcher.” He paused. “Me,” he whispered.

It hung in the air between them and Buffy held her breath, unable to think of what to say. His eyes searched her face while her mind went blank. Seconds ticked by.

He looked away, breaking the spell. His hand slipped off her hip. She shivered even though she was far from cold. “Plus, you pack a mean punch,” he continued, standing up and shoving his hands in his sweatshirt pockets as the bathroom door opened.

Dawn emerged, wearing her pajamas and running a comb through her wet hair. Dawn paused when she spotted them both staring at her. “What?” she asked suspiciously.

Buffy attempted a smile. “We have to go check something out.”

“Can I come?”

Buffy shook her head. “No, Dawnie. We need you to stay here, just in case.” Buffy got up and rummaged through her weapons bag, holding out a crossbow for her sister to take before slipping a couple of extra stakes into her pockets.

Spike waited impatiently, shifting from foot to foot. “Don’t open the door for anyone but me and your sis,” he instructed Dawn, his face serious. Dawn nodded worriedly.

“It’s probably nothing,” Buffy tried to assure her.

“Or a bear,” Spike added darkly.

“Will you stop with the bears?” Buffy buttoned her coat again, digging her hat out of the pocket and pulling it on.

“I want to see a bear,” Dawn said, her lower lip starting to sneak out in a pout.

“We saw some earlier,” Buffy reminded her. “Stay here and lock the door behind us.”

Spike held the door open for Buffy as she slipped out, leaving Dawn standing forlornly at the foot of the bed, her hair dripping onto the quilt and a crossbow in her hand.

***

Buffy rang the bell on the front desk again, frowning. “He was just here!”

Spike peered into the dark corners of the deserted lobby. “Maybe he went to get some coffee?”

“He didn’t seem like the type to leave the desk. Remember how upset he was yesterday when Simon from Indiana abandoned ship?”

“Well, whatever they’re worried about, I’m not smelling anything but humans down here. Let’s check outside.” Spike moved ahead and held the door for her again. She refrained from commenting and stepped out into the cold night. Her breath was visible in the chilly air. Buffy shivered and stuck her hands in her pockets. Old Faithful was quiet.

“Slayer.” Spike’s tone was sharp and Buffy automatically reached for one of her stakes. “This way.”

Buffy followed him through the shadows around the side of the large building, trying to keep up with his long strides over the uneven terrain. They ended up behind the lodge, next to a maintenance shed and several dumpsters. “Where?” Buffy whispered, straining to make out anything demon-y in the shadows.

Spike paused and lifted his head for a moment before turning towards the maintenance shed. Buffy stood on one side as the vampire put his hand on the door handle. He paused briefly before yanking it open, his eyes going golden for a second. The human-shaped figure inside let out a high-pitched scream as Buffy raised her stake.

Buffy blinked. “Jimmy?”

The desk clerk was cowering against a pile of lopsided chairs. “Is it gone?”

Buffy whipped around, looking. The dumpsters stood sentry in front of the woods, which were silent and still. “What, Jimmy? What did you see?”

“It was…” The man looked confused for a second. “I don’t know, a wolf maybe? Poor Simon from Indiana.” The last was said in a low whisper.

Spike glanced at Buffy, an eyebrow raised. “Come on out then, Jimmy, let’s get you back inside.”

Jimmy inched forward, peering over their shoulders into the darkness. As he got closer Buffy could see blood darkening the sleeve of his shirt. “Did it bite you?” she said sharply.

“Uh.” Jimmy looked at his arm. “I don’t think so? I must have banged into something. It was so big…” His eyes got far away again and Buffy’s suspicions grew.

“Did it have long legs like a…um, really big wolf?” She almost said human but didn’t want to freak him out more that he already was. She should have guessed, this was probably a perfect place for a werewolf.

“No.” Jimmy looked dazed as he inched his way out of the shed. “It was more like…uh, I didn’t get that good a look.”

“It’s what the rangers are all searching for,” Spike said confidently.

Jimmy nodded as he finally emerged. “I was just taking out the trash, you know, keeping myself busy. I’m not used to working the night shift anymore. They told us not to leave the building but I thought well, it’s hardly outside, just a few feet from the back door.” Jimmy led them to the rear of the building as he spoke, yanking open a door and darting inside, still watching the woods like something was going to emerge and drag him away at any moment. Spike turned to look too, frowning. He glanced at Buffy and she nodded before he melted into the shadows.

“Where’s he going?” Jimmy sounded horrified. “That thing is a monster!”

“He’ll be fine,” Buffy said evenly, closing the door behind her. “He can take care of himself.”

Jimmy looked at her askance as they threaded their way through prep stations in the dimly-lit kitchen. He stopped to shakily pour himself a cup of coffee and silently offered her a mug, but she shook her head.

Buffy waited until he’d had his first sip. “Can you remember anything about what it looked like?”

Jimmy avoided her eyes. “Uh, it was…it was dark, and it happened so fast.” He frowned at his torn sleeve and rolled it up far enough for Buffy to see that his injury looked more like a scrape than a bite. He moved to one of the sinks and began to clean it up.

Buffy raised her eyebrows. The calmer he got, the less information he was providing. Maybe whatever had attacked him wasn’t a werewolf, but this still had good old Sunnydale repression written all over it. “Do you remember how you hurt your arm?”

Jimmy glanced at his forearm. “I think I ran into something in the shed, that’s all. I’m really sorry about all of this. I’ll just call a ranger to come make sure whatever it was is gone. You and your boyfriend don’t have to…”

Buffy opened her mouth to protest the use of the word boyfriend in connection with Spike, but the back door banged open and she reflexively grabbed a nearby meat cleaver instead, whirling around. Spike was framed in the doorway, his white hair backlit like a halo.

“We’ve got a problem, Slayer.” Something in his hands thumped to the floor, but Buffy couldn’t see it with all the tables in the way.

She turned back and it took her a minute to locate Jimmy, who had curled up against the far wall under a workstation. His coffee was spilled across the floor, the mug shattered into several pieces.

“Can you get the lights, please, Jimmy?” Buffy asked.

Jimmy managed to stumble across the room and flip on the overhead lights, the fluorescent bulbs humming as they flickered on. Buffy finally got a good look at the thing twitching on the floor in front of Spike. It was bright orange and almost twice as long as the vampire was tall, with something grey oozing out of the larger end. It was covered in what looked like scales, tapering to a narrow, crimson-colored tip, and a knife was embedded in the flesh.

Jimmy whimpered.

“What the hell?” Buffy frowned at it, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “Is that a tail?”

Spike nodded, his face grim. “Looks like they’ve got a Pāhoehoe Mo’o.”

Buffy blinked at him, bewildered. “A hooey what now?”

The vampire shot her an exasperated glance. “You know, I’m starting to see why you lot come with Watchers.”

“Shut up, Spike.” She said it with a lot less heat than usual, feeling it spill out of her mouth as an automatic response to his teasing.

“I’m going to be sick,” Jimmy whispered hoarsely. His eyes were wide and his face was pale.

Spike glanced at him dispassionately. “So, the thing that attacked you, did it look like a giant lizard?”

Jimmy pressed himself up against the far wall. “I…I don’t remember. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and kicked the gross tail-thing, which curled slightly away from her. God, that was way creepy. “You can drop the damsel act, Jimmy. We’re used to stuff like this.”

Jimmy looked insulted, drawing himself up to his full height. “I have no idea what you mean, I…” He stopped and sighed, eyeing the giant tail on the no-longer-spotless floor of the kitchen. “It was bigger than almost anything I’ve seen out here, and yes, a lot like a lizard. You think it was a…a whatever you said?” he asked, sounding suddenly weary.

Spike shrugged. “Haven’t seen one in decades. They like warm, volcanic places, name means something like lava lizard. Hawaiian, if I’m remembering correctly. Didn’t think this species of demon still existed.”

“Demon?” Jimmy repeated faintly. He reached for another coffee mug with a shaking hand.

“You were in Hawaii?” Buffy looked at Spike in consternation. “Isn’t that kinda sunny for you?”

“Lots of places have volcanoes, Slayer.”

“Fine, but I can attest that this place is so far from warm. Why is it here?”

Jimmy coughed delicately. “Uh, this entire park is situated over an active volcanic caldera.”

“Seriously?” It sure didn’t look like any volcano she’d ever imagined.

Spike lifted an eyebrow. “Didn’t they tell you that on the tour?”

“I was busy looking at hot springs and stuff!”

She saw Spike’s mouth curve up into a tiny smile before he explained, “All the springs and geysers are related to underground volcanic activity, Slayer. It’s what keeps them warm and bubbling. Perfect environment for this kind of beastie.”

“Oh.” Buffy kicked the twitchy tail-thing again, feeling sheepish. Maybe she should have listened to a little bit of the tour. “So, did you kill it? Why is this all…moving still? It’s ooky.”

Spike snorted a laugh. “Lizard’s tails grow back, Slayer, they’re a defense against predators. And no, unfortunately, I didn’t. It was faster than it looked.”

Buffy nodded. “This is, um, a big tail.”

“These things are the reason dragon legends exist. They get even larger.”

Buffy stared at the tail again. It was bigger around than she was. “Uh-oh. How do we kill it?”

Spike shrugged. “I’d guess the same as any other demon, but their skin’s extra thick to shield them from heat, so we’ll have to be smart about it.”

“Um.” Jimmy raised his hand timidly. “How do you, uh…know all this?”

Buffy turned to the desk clerk, her spirits high. The night was taking a turn for the better, even if she was apparently going to be hunting down a giant lizard. “Well, I kill demons and stuff back home and Spike, apparently, is a closet nerd.”

“Hey!” Spike said indignantly.

“Well, you are!” Buffy retorted, unable to keep the amusement out of her voice. “Wait until I tell Giles you didn’t even have to do any research, he’s going to be so jealous. We’ll have to start calling you Watcher Junior.” She eyed him critically. “You’re going to need a lot more tweed in your wardrobe.”

Spike glared back and crossed his arms. “Watch it, Slayer.”

Buffy smothered a laugh as she turned back to Jimmy. Random demons she could so handle, and Spike was turning out to be even more helpful than she’d imagined. Their foe had been identified without her having to crack one book, that had to be a record. “So, how long has this thing been a problem?”

Jimmy was staring at them both, openmouthed, his replacement coffee cup dangling from one hand. “Uh, not long. We thought…we thought it was a bear or a wolf. There’ve been some dead elk, and then last night…” His face fell. “Poor Simon from Indiana.”

Buffy’s eyes widened in understanding. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

Jimmy looked sorrowful. “They only…there wasn’t much of him left, from what I understand.”

Buffy nodded sympathetically and turned to Spike. “Where did you see it?”

“There’s a dead elk just inside the treeline out there.” Spike hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “It didn’t get a chance to eat much before I interrupted. Might come back to finish it tonight.”

“Okay. I’m going to run upstairs for more weapons. What do you think, swords?”

Spike smirked at her. “Yeah, should do, Slayer, anything sharp and shiny.”

Buffy grinned back. “I do like shiny.”

Spike glanced at Jimmy, who seemed completely shell-shocked. “Look, we’ll take care of this problem for you, just…we prefer to keep this between us, understand?”

Jimmy nodded, his eyes wide. “What…what are you going to do? You’re just…” He gestured at Buffy helplessly.

“She’s tougher than she looks, mate.”

Buffy left the kitchen in search of weapons, leaving Spike to deal with Jimmy. He obviously knew more about this hoo-moo demon than she did anyways. Relief flooding through her at the knowledge that this was just a run-of-the-mill monster problem instead of Glory. She was kind of looking forward to having something to slay; she’d been getting a little itchy.

She took the stairs two at a time to deliver the good news to Dawn. Maybe their vacation wouldn’t have to end after all.  


	11. Beware of Wildlife

Buffy shifted, her legs aching from being in the same crouched position for so long. She’d been hiding behind this ridge with Spike for what felt like forever. She saw him glance in her direction and sent him a halfhearted glare. Stupid vampires with their no circulation and ability to stay perfectly still. She heaved a sigh, trying to keep it quiet. Spike looked at her again. She’d bet he was super annoyed about all her fidgeting right now, but he couldn’t say anything snide without giving away their hiding spot. The thought cheered her up and took her mind off her cramping legs for about two seconds.

Moonlight glinted off the ax Spike had resting across his knees. In the time it had taken for Buffy to run upstairs to deliver the good no-Glory news to Dawn and gather as many pointy weapons as she could carry, Jimmy and Spike had apparently become fast friends. They’d been chatting over coffee in the kitchen when she returned, and the easy smile and wink combination Spike had sent her over Jimmy’s shoulder had done funny things to her insides. Jimmy had cheerfully returned to his post at the front desk after wishing them luck, and Buffy had spent a moment wondering just what Spike had said to make Jimmy so comfortable with the demon-hunting thing.

Buffy tried to peer through the darkness, the trees around them casting deep shadows. She could just make out the dark lump that Spike had indicated was the dead elk. She really preferred the chase and attack method of Slaying, but they didn’t have time to search a park full of lava tubes where, according to Spike, the mooey demons usually hung out, so a stake-out it was.

She glanced in the vampire’s direction again. He was almost invisible in the darkness. She wasn’t sure she’d even notice he was there if she didn’t know to look for his radioactive hair. The forest was silent and still in the pre-dawn hours. It was nearing sunrise. They were going to have to get back inside if the thing didn’t show itself soon.

Buffy was just about to break the silence when she heard it: a low, slithering sound that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She tried to keep her breathing quiet and even. Spike was as still as a statue beside her.

A black shape moved toward the lump that was the elk. It was big. Bigger even than Buffy had imagined. Definitely bigger than the moose they’d seen earlier. She gripped the hilt of her sword a little tighter. Maybe she should have grabbed another ax. The shape was indistinguishable from the dead elk now, and Buffy heard a noise that made her stomach turn over. Ugh, it was eating.

Spike was suddenly in her line of vision, creeping through the trees. Buffy forced herself to stay where she was. This was the other part of the plan; Spike would flush it into the open where she would surprise it and they could hopefully keep it from disappearing back into its hidey-hole. She was having a hard time waiting, her legs aching and her nose tingling from cold.

Finally, the thing stopped making those awful noises. Buffy was up and running the moment she saw the blade of Spike’s ax flashing through the air toward the beast. She dodged through the trees, keeping an eye on the fleeing black shape of the creature as it headed towards the parking lot. It was quicker than she’d anticipated. She picked up her pace, putting on a burst of speed, leaping over a pile of snow and landing on the edge of the pavement behind the lodge.  

Buffy remained in a crouch, listening intently and watching the hulking shape as it emerged from the trees. It slowed, and she saw its head swing back and forth while she waited for the perfect moment to strike. She could feel her blood racing through her veins, her muscles were tense and quivering, just ready for their release. She was surprised at how much she’d missed this. When she heard the click of claws against the pavement she straightened up, her sword already raised. The thing reared back like a horse, rising high above her while Buffy whirled and changed direction. She slashed at its stumpy rear legs, trying to bring it back down, but her sword barely made a nick in its thick skin.

She could see the demon clearer now in the illumination of the streetlights. It was a pale orange color and scaled like a snake, with long, deadly-looking claws adorning its four feet and some kind of ridge running down its back. The head was wide and flat like a lizard’s. Yeah, she could see how these things were confused for dragons. Thank god it didn’t have wings. It took a swipe at her, forcing her to roll out of the way of its sharp talons.

Spike had emerged from the woods behind it, and he swung as the demon turned towards him, but his ax came down a split second too late to catch its neck, ending up in the creature’s shoulder instead. She heard him curse, though the words were drowned out by the strange, low hiss the thing made.

“Spike?” Buffy called just as the thing shook off the vampire. She caught sight of him smashing into the side of a dumpster and the loud echo of clanging metal made her wince. Maybe they should have done this where there wouldn’t be any accidental witnesses. Though really, most people would probably convince themselves they were seeing things. “This isn’t really working!” She could see Spike’s ax still embedded in the beast’s flesh as she dodged another swipe of its deadly claws, trying to figure out how to reach the weapon. Her sword slashes just seemed to make it mad.

“Go for the throat,” Spike growled, picking himself up and drawing a knife. Buffy slashed at another stumpy leg while Spike distracted the demon, but the hide was ridiculously thick—probably to protect the damn thing from lava, she realized a bit belatedly. Great. She really needed that ax.

The creature charged toward her and Buffy scrambled to climb up on top of a nearby dumpster, leaping for the ax as she let her sword clatter to the ground. The demon slammed into the dumpster she’d been standing on as she clamped one hand tightly around the weapon, and then the beast was whirling around, trying to shake her off. Buffy clutched the ax tightly with both hands, scrambling for purchase for her feet so she could brace herself. Her heart was pounding in her ears and she lost track of Spike as she yanked at the ax and finally managed to wrench it free. She hardly had time to celebrate before she was landing on her back on the pavement hard enough to knock the breath from her lungs and make white spots dance in her vision.

Dazedly, she saw the demon reared up over her again as she fumbled, trying to grip the ax with clumsy fingers while its claws flashed in the moonlight and descended toward her. She heard Spike’s roar of anger and then he was suddenly blocking her view, standing between her and the creature.

A wet squelch made her heart stop for a moment, and Spike collapsed like a ragdoll.

Buffy finally caught her breath and got her feet under her, swinging the ax desperately as the beast raised its claws again to slash at the vampire slumped to the ground beneath it.

“Back off!” Buffy yelled, watching with satisfaction as the ax bit deep, severing part of the beast’s leg. The creature stumbled back but the vampire didn’t stir. Buffy watched the thing regroup and took a moment to study it through narrowed eyes, the ax dripping something gross and viscous onto the ground. “Spike?” She risked a glance at him, but he didn’t respond. She swallowed the lump in her throat and kept her eye on the demon. Spike was sure to pop up again at any moment, he’d hate to miss a fight like this.

The demon made a high-pitched, screeching noise that Buffy ignored as it lunged again. This time she was ready for it, dodging between its front legs and embedding the ax in the thing’s throat before rolling out of the way.

Buffy jumped back up as soon as she could, looking around frantically for her sword. The stupid vampire still hadn’t moved. “Spike?” she called, trying to keep the panic out of her voice as she watched the beast lurch in his direction.  She spotted her sword tucked partially under a dumpster and Buffy threw herself in that direction, coming up with the weapon and circling around to stand between the vampire and the beast. The thing didn’t seem to be paying much attention to them anymore. It listed to one side and started making strange gurgling noises, dark fluid spilling out of its torn throat. It finally collapsed, sighed heavily, and was still.

Buffy was breathing hard, her body trembling. She kept her eye on the demon, her sword raised protectively, and moved closer to the vampire while she whispered his name.

A noise like the scrape of a shoe startled her and she whirled, sword still raised.

There was a man was standing next to the dumpsters. He was dressed in a uniform that identified him as a park ranger, though he seemed to have forgone the hat. A flashlight was on the ground next to him, illuminating one of the demon’s wide, sightless eyes. His mouth was hanging open as he stared at the creature and Buffy in turn. 

Buffy slowly lowered the sword, trying to calm her racing heart. “Um, hey?”

“Wha-?” the ranger started to say. The radio in his hand squawked, making him jump. The rear door of the building that led to the kitchen slowly opened.

“Is everything…holy moly.” Jimmy stepped out and stared at the very large, very dead demon.

The vampire behind her groaned and Buffy finally relaxed. “Spike?” She turned around and frowned, watching him wrap his arms around his torso. 

“Uh, Jimmy? What…who…?” The ranger didn’t seem to know what to ask.

Buffy knelt beside Spike, leaving the ranger to Jimmy, and set her sword on the ground. She carefully tipped Spike onto his back, wincing as she saw how shredded his sweatshirt was. There was blood pooling under him, and his whole front was stained with it. He cracked open one eye. “We win, love?”

Buffy tried to smile. The fact that he’d made no move to get up told her how badly he was hurt. “Of course we did,” she replied lightly. “You’re going to need a new sweatshirt though, the hooty thing ruined yours.”

Spike’s laugh was frighteningly wet. “Good, I hate this sodding thing.” He closed his eyes again.

“Uh, Miss Summers?” Buffy turned to Jimmy, leaving one hand on Spike’s shoulder to reassure herself that he was still there. “Do you want me to call a doctor?” The desk clerk was wringing his hands in distress.

“He…she…” The ranger was pointing at Spike, then Buffy, then the creature in turn. “What?”

Buffy shook her head. “No, I’ll take care of him. He just needs blood, can you get some?”

“Blood?” Jimmy repeated in confusion. “I’m sure the hospital can…”

“They wouldn’t know how to help him,” Buffy said firmly. She looked Jimmy squarely in the eye until he seemed to catch on, his gaze darting to Spike and then back to her. “I need blood. Animal blood. Any kind is fine.” She carefully slipped an arm around Spike’s shoulders and helped him sit up. He made a pained noise low in his throat that had her chest aching in sympathy. Her hand slipped down his back in a soothing gesture she hadn’t even realized she’d begun. “Can you make sure I get my weapons back?” she asked Jimmy. Spike tucked his head against her shoulder as she grasped him more firmly and tugged him up.

“Your…ah, yes, of course.” Jimmy stared wide-eyed at her and Spike as she managed to get the vampire to his feet.

“What is that?” The ranger finally managed to produce a sentence, pointing at the creature. Buffy wrinkled her nose. “You can ask Spike when he’s better. There’s no way I can pronounce the name of that thing.”

“Lava lizard, he said.” Jimmy’s voice was tinged with awe. “But in Hawaiian.”

“Lava…lizard?” the ranger repeated. “Holy shit. I have to call the corporal.” He took one last look at the beast, shaking his head. “Holy shit.”

“We have to move it before the guests wake up,” Jimmy said, sounding distressed. The ranger nodded and disappea3red. Buffy heard more radio squawking. Jimmy noticed her still standing there, waiting. “I’ll get you everything he needs.” He assured her.

Buffy felt her fear abate a little. “Thank you, Jimmy.” She slipped in the door as Jimmy held it open for her, Spike leaning heavily against her side.

“And who the hell are those two?” she heard the ranger ask.

Jimmy’s faint reply reached her ears just before the door swung shut, “Friends of mine.”


	12. Falling Rocks

Buffy climbed the staircase with a handful of Spike’s shredded sweatshirt in her grip to keep him upright. The vampire managed to make it up the stairs under his own steam, but barely. “ ‘M fine,” he mumbled, his arm heavy around her neck.

“Shut up, Spike,” Buffy hissed, holding him tightly. “You’re hurt, you complete jerk.” They reached the door to their room and he propped himself against the doorframe as she opened it. Dawn was a lump under the covers, snoring softly. Buffy was grateful for her sister’s ability to sleep through practically anything. She seriously couldn’t deal with an upset Dawn on top of everything right now.

“Jerk?” Spike snorted under his breath.

Buffy clamped her lips shut and stayed silent as she dragged him into the bathroom and settled him onto the edge of the tub. She glared at him before going to retrieve the first aid kit. Her hands trembled as she rummaged around in her bag trying to find everything she needed. Dawn didn’t stir. Buffy shucked off her jacket and yanked off her hat, feeling overheated and confined.

Returning to the bathroom, Buffy closed the door and flipping on the lights. Spike winced at the sudden brightness. “Yes, you’re a jerk!” she whispered fiercely. “What the hell were you thinking, throwing yourself at the demon like that!”

The remains of his sweatshirt were covering his bloody chest, and he swayed slightly, his hands gripping the edge of the tub. There was fresh blood dripping onto the tile floor. 

Spike raised his eyebrows as she dropped to her knees in front of him and carefully began to peel away his shredded clothing, revealing deep gashes across his chest. Spike grunted in pain before replying through clenched teeth, “Uh, well, I was thinking it was going to slash you to ribbons?”

“I had an ax!” A blood-soaked piece of sweatshirt fell to the floor with a disgustingly wet plop.

“You were lying there taking a nap!”

“You didn’t need to stop it with your face!”

“Most of the damage is a bit lower, luckily.” The ghost of a smirk appeared.

Buffy rolled her eyes and tore the remaining pieces of his sweatshirt and t-shirt away from his torso. Blood was leaking sluggishly from four deep wounds that crossed from one shoulder nearly to the opposite hip. She winced, seeing flashes of white bone in the wounds. “You idiot,” she said, her voice unsteady, “It almost got your heart.” She wished for a moment that his heart did beat, just so she could lay her head against his shoulder to reassure herself the steady thump was still there. Taking a deep breath, she reached for one of the towels Dawn had left on the floor. They were going to have to leave a seriously big tip for housekeeping.

Spike was silent for a while, watching as she carefully cleaned the gashes as best she could. The more she revealed, the worse it looked. If he’d been human, he’d have been dead before he hit the ground. Not for the first time, she was grateful Riley hadn’t stuck around. The thought didn’t leave her feeling nearly as guilty as it used to.

She considered stitches, then decided Spike had suffered enough for one night and pulled out the butterfly bandages instead. “Hold still,” she said, her voice wavering. She tried to blink away her tears, angry that her stupid emotions always seemed to have the worst timing.

Spike reached out, his hand hovering tentatively near her face before he wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. “Had worse before, Slayer,” Spike said softly.

Buffy chewed on her lip, feeling more tears spill over. “You’re not supposed to leave,” she whispered. She peeled the backing from one of the bandages and pressed it against his skin, drawing together the edges of one long gash. Then she picked up the next bandage and repeated the process, working slowly and methodically. He’d come so close to being gone, and she’d been blindsided by the idea that he  _could_  be gone. It was getting hard to breathe, like a something heavy was sitting on her chest.

“What?” His thumb swept across her cheek, but she couldn’t bring herself to look up at him.

“You’re not supposed to leave,” she repeated, louder this time.

She felt Spike’s hand slip through her hair as she moved to the next gash. “Hadn’t been planning on it,” he said quietly.

“Then stop being stupid,” she said harshly, slapping a bandage on his chest with more force than necessary and drawing another grunt from him.

“Yeah, okay, love.” His fingers tenderly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

Buffy blinked, trying to contain more escaped tears, before glaring up at the vampire. Spike was staring down at her with a mixture of confusion and cautious hope on his face. How dare he make her feel like this, all helpless and angry and sad. Everything was all tangled in her head. He was supposed to be an evil vampire, but he’d also almost died trying to protect her— _again_ —when that was her job. Death was her gift, the First Slayer had told her so, and someone had to look after Dawn and the others when Buffy was gone. Spike was the only one strong enough to keep them all safe. He was supposed to always be around, with his smart mouth and his stupid bravado and his steadfast refusal to ever dust. 

“Stupid vampire,” she mumbled, tending to the last of Spike’s wounds. The bleeding had slowed considerably. Once he got some blood in him he’d probably be fine. She smoothed down the last bandage and her hand continued along its path unbidden, her fingers trailing across his chest where the skin was whole and unmarred. She watched his muscles tense and release under her touch.

“I’m not going anywhere, Buffy,” he said quietly. “I swear.” 

She looked up again, meeting his eyes as he stared down at her. She stared back, unable to look away. He was so dumb and so near and so…

Buffy didn’t even realize she’d closed the distance between them until she felt her lips pressing against his. She heard him make a surprised noise as she kissed him, but then he was kissing her back. She just needed to reassure herself that he was still there, that this wasn’t a dream and he hadn’t crumbled to dust doing something incredibly stupid to protect her. The whole kissing-Spike-post-danger thing was kind of starting to become a habit, she mused as she parted her lips to allow his questing tongue entry.

The hand Spike had in her hair curled into a fist, holding her close, and she cupped his face between her hands, mapping the inside of his mouth with her tongue. His lips were cool and soft and fit against hers in a way no one else had ever quite matched. It wasn’t fair that he was the one person who always seemed to know just what she needed.

Her treacherous mind suggested several other ways they could fit together that involved a lot less clothing and a lot more kissing. Her hands slid down his bare back and she wished with a fierceness that startled her that she could touch all of him.

He sucked her lower lip into his mouth and she moaned, clinging to his bicep as one of his hands worked its way under her shirt and settled on the small of her back. He pulled her closer and she could feel his trapped erection pressing against her hip. She leaned into him, and Spike let out a pained hiss, bringing her back down to earth with a resounding thump.

Buffy jerked her head back, her chest heaving. “Um.” She couldn’t seem to find any words to explain herself.

Spike just stared at her, his mouth hanging open. He looked entirely too tempting, even bloodied and covered in bandages.

Buffy sprang to her feet, feeling a blush creep up her cheeks. “I’ll let you clean up. Jimmy should be here soon with some blood for you.”

Spike stared at her some more. “Uh, Buffy…?” he started to say.

“I’ll just go wait for him,” Buffy added hastily. She hooked a thumb over her shoulder and fled the bathroom.

She was just starting to get her heart rate under control, digging through her bag for clean pajamas while contemplating if she’d completely lost her mind when there was a soft knock at the door. Buffy went to open it and peeked out, seeing Jimmy there with a room service cart.

“Miss Summers.” Jimmy nodded at two coffee carafes and Buffy picked them up gratefully.

“Thanks, Jimmy.”

“Are you sure I can’t call someone for him?” Concern was etched across Jimmy’s face.

Buffy felt her vampire tingles creeping up the back of her neck. “Be fine, mate, thanks.” Spike loomed over her shoulder, a towel slung low over his hips and his chest covered in bandages. Buffy would swear that despite Spike’s lack of body heat his proximity was making her entire body flush.

Jimmy’s eyes went wide as he stared at the angry, red gashes across Spike’s chest covered by a crooked line of bandages. “Uh…sure. Please let me know if you require anything else.” He paused, looking up and down the hall before continuing in a whisper, “The…lizard is being taken care of. And your bill. Please stay as long as you’d like. Let me know what else you might need.” He softly closed the door.

There was a long silence as Buffy stared at the door and tried to will her blush away. She could feel Spike’s eyes on her, but if she turned to face him she was afraid she’d just end up kissing him again, and she really should stop doing that.

“Um, I’m going to get cleaned up,” Buffy said to the door. She spun around, managing to avoid looking directly at Spike as she put the blood next to the microwave before snagging the first pajamas she could get her hands on from her bag. She locked herself in the bathroom and leaned back against the door for a moment, trying to breathe normally. Closing her eyes, Buffy thumped her head back against the bathroom door in frustration.

Her life was already an absolute mess without dragging Spike into it. She opened her eyes and ruefully met her own gaze in the bathroom mirror. Except she’d kind of already done that, hadn’t she? He wouldn’t be here if she hadn’t asked him to come on this crazy escape-from-Glory roadtrip. Sure, he hadn’t been her first choice…well, he had been, but she’d had very good reasons for that.

Buffy absently started tugging her clothes off, leaving them in a pile on the floor. She’d wanted Spike along because he was strong, of course, almost as strong as she was. She also knew he’d protect Dawn without question, which was a strange thing to realize. While she loved her friends, they certainly wouldn’t sacrifice themselves to keep her sister safe and she couldn’t ask them to. But she’d also wanted Spike along because she…well, because she liked knowing he was around. She could rely on him in a way she couldn’t quite explain, just that he felt as steady as her heartbeat and it was something she’d grown used to.

She stepped into the shower to wash away the dirt and blood while she tried to make sense of her swirling thoughts. So, she’d kissed Spike. It wasn’t like she hadn’t before. Actually, she kind of kissed Spike a lot for someone she used to hate. She’d managed to know Xander for years and years without ever kissing him, and ew, she wasn’t going to think about kissing Xander anymore. Making a face, Buffy tipped her head back under the shower spray to wet her hair.

The time she’d spent in the car with Spike over the last few days, talking and arguing and keeping each other company while Dawn slept, had actually been pretty nice. Sure, he drove her nuts, but he also made her laugh. She didn’t have to pretend to be girly for him, like Riley had wanted her to be, or tougher, like Giles expected sometimes. She was just plain-old Buffy when she was with him, and Spike never seemed to mind. Even Angel had never made her feel like she could just be…well, herself.

Buffy worked conditioner into her hair and tipped her head back to rinse it out again, closing her eyes. The water sluiced over her body, washing away her fears and indecision. She’d kissed Spike. The world hadn’t ended, he hadn’t gone (more) evil, and she’d really, really liked kissing him. Was it so wrong to want to kiss someone who cared for her, even if he didn’t have a soul?

Buffy’s eyes popped open. She bit her lip and finished rinsing her hair, staring at the white-tiled wall. She knew she was supposed to believe that Spike couldn’t love her because he was a demon. But no one had been around tonight to record what happened in their stuffy Watcher diaries. They hadn’t watched Spike nearly dust to protect her or seen his stunned, awestruck face when she’d kissed him. She wondered how many moments like those had been overlooked or flat-out ignored by the Council. They’d been practically useless since she’d been called, so why should she believe anything that they’d told her? She turned off the water with a deft twist of her wrist, decision made, and reached for a clean towel.

If she wanted to kiss Spike, then, by god, she was going to kiss the hell out of him.

Butterflies erupted in her stomach as she toweled herself dry and pulled on her pajamas. She spent a few minutes combing out her hair and gathering her courage. She and Spike were good at kissing—great at, actually—but the talking part…well, with him, that part was usually difficult. And they should probably do at least a little bit of talking before any more kissing.

Buffy squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “You can do this,” she informed mirror-Buffy. She didn’t look convinced.


	13. Steep Grade

The first thing Buffy saw when she stepped out of the bathroom was Spike, stretched out on his bed and still wearing just a towel. She really hoped he hadn’t noticed the hitch in her breathing. He was lying on his back with his legs dangling over the end of the bed and his jeans draped over his lap. She thought for a moment he was asleep and disappointment washing through her before she moved close enough to see the scowl on his face as he glared up at the ceiling.

A bedside lamp had been switched on and was casting a soft yellow glow. Spike had apparently taped gauze over the worst of his gashes, probably for Dawn’s benefit, and his chest was now covered in a patchwork of white squares. One of the coffee carafes Jimmy had brought was on the bedside table, its top askew. Dawn was sprawled diagonally across her bed with a stuffed buffalo tucked under one arm, still fast asleep.

Hesitantly stopping halfway across the room, Buffy debated shoving Dawn over and pretending to go to sleep herself. Maybe she should just talk to Spike in the morning when everything wasn’t dark and quiet, and he wasn’t lounging around barely dressed. And hurt, she reminded herself, like, really hurt.

Her mouth seemed to have its own ideas. “Um, Spike?”

The vampire turned his head to look at her, his scowl firmly in place. “Can’t get my sodding trousers on without messing these up.” He gestured at his chest in annoyance. 

Buffy’s vision swam for a moment. She could feel herself flushing red again. Kissing she might be able to handle, but helping Spike into his pants might end up catapulting this…whatever it was, into a place she wasn’t sure she was prepared for. 

“I, uh…” she stuttered before remembering the surprise she’d bought for him, relief filling her. Jeans weren’t very stretchy, but nice, fleecy sweatpants were. Thank god she’d had the foresight to take care of Spike’s lack of pajamas. Exactly why she’d been so concerned about his wardrobe deficiencies this entire trip was a bridge she’d cross later. First, she had to get him dressed so they could…talk.

She went to dig through the gift store bags, pulling out the pair of sweatpants and, as an afterthought, Dawn’s novelty mug. “Here.” She handed Spike the pants, an electric shock running down her spine at the brush of his fingers against hers. He’d propped himself up on his elbows and confusion was written across his face. “I thought, I mean…” Buffy knew she must be beet red by now. “Um, I noticed you didn’t have any pajamas and thought you might want something comfy to sleep in,” she blurted out.

Spike’s lip curled like he was fighting a smile. “Did you now?”

Buffy averted her eyes and grabbed one of the nearby pillows, fluffing it vigorously. “It was hard to miss, what with all the…room sharing!” she said defensively.

“Hard to miss the state of my trousers?” Spike sounded a lot more amused than she thought was really called for.

“No!” Buffy squeaked. “You…who doesn’t have pajamas?”

Spike’s eyebrows quirked up. He wasn’t even trying to hide his smile now, though it was really more of an arrogant smirk, that…that…egotistical jerk. Just because she wanted to kiss him didn’t mean-

“Didn’t realize my choice of night apparel was such a concern of yours.” His tongue peeked out and wet his lower lip.

Buffy sputtered for a second. “I…it’s not! I was just…” She let out an exasperated sigh. “I was just trying to do something nice.”

Spike’s teasing expression softened. “Thanks, pet.”

Buffy cast about for an explanation. “I just saw them this afternoon. It wasn’t like I was, you know,  _looking_.”

Spike’s smirk made a reappearance and he tucked one arm behind his head. “ ‘Course not,” he replied.

She glared at him and abandoned her pillow-mangling. “I can’t believe you forgot to pack pajamas.”

One of Spike’s shoulders lifted lazily towards his ear. “Didn’t have any to pack.”

Buffy blinked at him. “You don’t have pajamas?”

“No.”

“But then what…” Buffy’s brain finally caught up with her mouth as Spike’s smirk reached epic proportions. “Blood! I’ll just…get you some more.”

She whirled around and marched over to the other coffee carafe, fumbling through opening the lid and pouring some blood into the mug Dawn had picked out. Buffy made a face at the thick, globby liquid. Spike must have drunk the other carafe cold since she’d forgotten to ask Jimmy to heat it. Sticking the blood in the microwave and the carafe in their room’s tiny fridge, Buffy listened to Spike’s rustling and quiet cursing behind her until it sounded like it might be safe to turn around. The microwave beeped.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled the mug out and held it in both hands, turning cautiously. Spike was still on the bed but was now leaning innocently against the headboard and wearing his new black sweatpants with a row of green, stylized trees marching down the side of one leg. She crossed the room slowly, trying to remember that she only wanted to talk and not…other stuff. And that Dawn was asleep just feet away.

 “Here.” Buffy shoved the mug at him, hoping her face had returned to being more or less its normal color, and frowned at the blood seeping through the gauze on his chest

 “Thanks, love.” Spike accepted the mug and lifted an eyebrow when he noticed the ranger hat logo on one side.

“Dawn got it for you.” Maybe she should just forget this whole talking thing before she made a complete fool of herself

Spike grinned. “Ta.” He lifted the mug slightly in a silent toast before tossing back the contents.

“More?”

Spike shook his head, setting the cup to one side and studying her. Buffy’s fingers itched to change his bandages and she disappeared into the bathroom to find more gauze before returning to stand by the bed. Spike watched her silently, his eyes shadowed and his expression surprisingly unreadable.

Buffy glanced over at Dawn, who was still hogging the other bed, before carefully climbing up to sit beside him. She settled herself down cross-legged on the mattress and reached out to peel away the corner of one piece of bloodied gauze. 

“Spike,” she started hesitantly, “look, I…”

“No need for explanations, Slayer,” he interrupted, his eyes following the movement of her hands instead of meeting her gaze. “I haven’t forgotten you telling me you could never…well, it doesn’t matter. Said I’d be here for you and the bit and I meant it. Until the bloody end.”

Buffy stared at the vampire leaning back against the headboard. His pale skin almost glowed in the dim light of the room. She peeled off the next square of blood-stained gauze a little less gently, but Spike didn’t even flinch. Setting her jaw, Buffy tried to gentle her hands. If she was going to hammer the fact that she cared about him through his thick skull, she should probably try to control her temper. Spike made a noise deep in his throat when her fingertips brushed against his nipple that had her own standing to attention. She drew in a shaky breath and tried to focus on her task.

“I know what I said. I think…I mean, I didn’t know this was all going to happen, Spike, and things are different. I’m different. And…” Her voice faltered. “I feel different. About you.” She peeled away the last of the stained gauze and lifted her eyes from his chest to his face.

Spike blinked at her, looking astonished. “Oh.”

Picking up a new square of gauze with trembling fingers, Buffy passed Spike the tape. He automatically tore off a piece and handed it to her. They worked silently for a moment, covering the worst of his injury. The edges of his wounds were already starting to knit together, she noticed with relief. “Okay?” she said nervously.

“Uh, when you say ‘different’, that’s a good thing, right?”

Buffy bit back a frustrated sigh. She hated talking. She never did it right. “Yes, Spike, it’s good-different.”

“How good, exactly?”

“Just…good. Better than I expected.” She concentrated on taping down the last of the gauze, his chest once again mostly covered in pristine white.

“So, far from seething hatred?” 

Huffing out a breath, Buffy found the edges of her mouth twitching upward. “Definitely not seething hatred.”

“On a scale of seething hatred to, uh, the opposite of that, where would you say-”

“Spike!” Buffy shoved the first aid kit aside in exasperation and leaned forward, bracing herself against the headboard and cupping his face with one hand. She stopped moving when her lips grazed his. He watched her with wide eyes. “I’d say right about here,” she murmured before pressing her mouth more firmly against his. His hands settled on her hips and she sighed happily as he kissed her back with an enthusiasm that matched her own.

Her fingers traced the line of his jaw and down the side of his neck. She flattened her palm against his shoulder, trying to imagine what it would feel like to have all of him pressed against her. He shuddered as though he was reading her mind and his hand strayed from her hip, slipping up under her tank top. Buffy whimpered as his cool fingers trailed across her stomach and began to move upwards, her breathing stuttering for a moment. His tongue swept through her mouth and he let out a low growl that had her toes curling.

A tiny snore broke interrupted Buffy’s train of thought and she wrenched her head back. “Wait,” she gasped. “We can’t.” She reached up and stopped Spike’s hand just as his long fingers brushed against the underside of her breast. She shivered, closing her eyes and almost forgetting herself again. “No, wait,” she repeated, gripping his hand more firmly to keep it still.

“What? Why?” Spike asked, sounding dismayed. “I thought-”

“Dawn,” Buffy hissed, jerking her head in the direction of her thankfully still-sleeping sister.

Spike’s face fell. “Oh, right.” Sighing, he slipped his hand out from under her shirt, letting it thump down on the bed as Buffy reluctantly pulled back. Her lips tingled from the intensity of his kisses, and she’d bet he could make her tingle in a lot of other, interesting ways. She let out a disappointed sigh of her own.

“Sorry,” she whispered. Though if Dawn had slept through everything that had happened in the last little while, the whispering probably wasn’t necessary. “Um,” Buffy shifted so her back was against the headboard and her shoulder was touching Spike’s. She watched him out of the corner of her eye. “So, that’s how I feel, okay?”

“About me,” Spike clarified, sounding like he wasn’t quite sure he believed it.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Yes, Spike, about you.”

“And we’re sure that Pāhoehoe Mo’o didn’t dust me?”

Buffy reached out and took Spike’s hand, threading their fingers together. “It didn’t. And don’t you dare do that again.”

“Just got a few scratches, kitten. Be right as rain in no time.”

Buffy leaned her head against his shoulder and yawned widely, unable to stop it. “Stupid vampire,” she mumbled. Her adrenaline buzz was almost gone and exhaustion was settling in. The first rays of sunlight were beginning to seep in around the edges of the curtain covering the window.

She felt Spike’s fingers slip through the ends of her hair. “You need to get some sleep,” he murmured. His nose was pressed against her temple, and she watched his chest rise and fall like he was breathing her in. His nearness was making her insides quiver even as her eyelids grew heavy.

“I should go to bed.” She let out another jaw-cracking yawn.

“Looks like you might have to fight Dawn for it.” 

Buffy wrinkled her nose and turned to press her face against his skin. He smelled like soap and bandages and Spike. It was a soothing combination. He wasn’t dust, Dawn was still safe, and the thread of anticipation she could feel winding through her belly had nothing to do with an apocalypse, for once. “Or I could just stay here.”

“Uh, where am I in this scenario?”

“Here,” Buffy mumbled. It was getting hard to keep track of the conversation.

“Really?” Spike asked. “Wait, I meant, of course I am.”   

Buffy smiled, her eyes closing the rest of the way. Spike shifted next to her and she cracked her eyes open. “Where are you going?”

Spike stared at her, one side of his lips quirking up. “Nowhere, love, just thought we might want to actually lie down.” 

“Oh,” Buffy said sheepishly. Spike squeezed her hand once before letting go and carefully getting up from the bed. He disappeared for a minute, and she could hear him gathering all the first aid stuff and moving it before pulling the quilt out from underneath her. The bedside lamp clicked off and Buffy slid down to lay her head against the pillows.

A moment later she felt the mattress dip as Spike returned to bed. He pulled the blankets over them both and lay back gingerly against the pillow next to her. She heard him make a pained noise and reached out to touch his arm.

“ ‘M fine,” he whispered, grasping her hand and tugging it until she was lying right next to him. Curling up on her side, Buffy pressed her cheek against his shoulder and Spike twined their fingers together.

“Thank you,” Buffy murmured, resting her hand on his chest, careful to find a spot free of gauze and bandages.

“Until the bloody end,” he whispered back.

Sleep crept up to claim her.


	14. Signal Out Ahead

Buffy felt something hit her foot and she frowned, trying to kick it away. The last vestiges of an unsettling dream involving Dawn, screaming from high above her, faded away. She snuggled closer to the person next to her, sighing in satisfaction when she found the perfect spot to cradle her head. Something hit her foot again. She wrinkled her nose in irritation.

“Buffy!” someone hissed.

Frowning, Buffy cracked open her eyes, seeing an expanse of pale skin and bandages in front of her. One of her arms was slung low across Spike’s hips, her thumb tucked into the band of his sweatpants. His hand was wrapped loosely around hers and his other arm was under her head, giving her access to the hollow of his shoulder that she’d been using as a pillow.

For a moment, Buffy froze, her body tensing. Then the previous night came flooding back in a wave of memories filled with danger and fear and heat and some really great kissage. She let out a contented sigh and relaxed again, pressing a brief kiss to Spike’s bare shoulder.

A noisy squeak, followed by another smack to her foot, interrupted her plans for more sleep.

Buffy lifted her head and found the source of the disturbance. “What?” she crankily asked her sister.

Dawn was standing at the foot of Spike’s bed and gawking at them. Her long, dark hair was tangled on one side like it always was in the morning and she was clutching her stuffed buffalo to her chest. “What are you doing?” she hissed at Buffy. “Have you totally lost it? That’s Spike!”

Buffy frowned in confusion. “I know. You were hogging the bed.”

There was a long silence as Dawn continued to stare, her mouth hanging open. “Oh my god, I’m in a parallel dimension,” she finally announced.

Buffy snorted, then glanced over to make sure they hadn’t woken Spike. He needed the rest more than she did. He hadn’t moved. “You’re not in a parallel dimension. Everything’s fine. We were just…talking.”

Dawn’s eyebrows lifted to her hairline. “Uh huh, sure. You and Spike were talking, which somehow led to…snuggling.” She eyed the bandages covering Spike’s chest. “What happened?”

“Big lizard, I told you.” Buffy yawned. “Everything’s fine. Sleep now.”

“It’s practically noon and I’m hungry,” Dawn said, putting one hand on her hip. “And you’re sleeping in the same bed as Spike. Do you realize that?”

“Yes, Dawn, I did notice,” Buffy said wryly. “Thank you for pointing it out for the gazillionth time.”

“Well, it’s weird!” Her sister narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Are you still Buffy in there?”

“Oh my god.” Buffy dropped her head back against the pillows. “I’m still me, we’re not in a parallel universe, and yes, I know this is Spike. I’ll tell you everything later, okay?”

Dawn let out an annoyed sigh. “Fine. I’m going to get dressed and go find something to eat before I die of starvation. Since I’m not allowed to do anything by myself anymore, which is totally stupid by the way, I guess you’ll have to come with me and explain what the heck is going on.” Her voice was low but fierce.

Buffy groaned at the thought of having to get up, but Dawn was right, she couldn’t let her sister go wandering around by herself while Glory was still a threat. “Fine. Give me a few minutes.”

Dawn’s expression softened. “Is Spike going to be okay?”

“Be fine, bit, sod off.” Spike’s voice was rough with sleep, and his arm curled tighter around Buffy, keeping her close.

Dawn let out a snort. “Fine, Mr. Crankypants.” There was a brief pause. “Nice sweats. I think I saw one of the other old guys wearing them yesterday.” 

Spike growled at her and groped around behind Buffy’s head, finding a pillow and launching it at Dawn. Buffy stifled a laugh against his shoulder as Dawn ducked with a playful shriek.

“Okay, okay, jeez, I’m going!” Dawn pointed at the bathroom door. “I’ll just be in there. Still in the room. So don’t do anything…gross.”

“Then don’t come out without giving a warning,” Spike responded.

“Ew!” Dawn cast one last withering look in their direction before flouncing over to the bathroom and slamming the door closed behind her.

Buffy smiled as Spike turned his head and nuzzled against her temple. “She’s louder than a damn demon hoard,” the vampire grumbled.

Buffy hummed her agreement. “You should try living with her.”  She stretched her whole body, pointing her toes and arching her back like a cat.

When she opened her eyes, Spike was watching her with an expression on his face that made her heart skip a beat, like she was all the answers to his universe. His hand skimmed over her hip, just a whisper of a touch. “You’re still here,” he said softly.

“Where else would I be?”

Spike lifted his eyebrows. “Uh, far from the evil vampire?”

“I hate to break it to you, but you kind of suck at being evil.” Buffy propped herself up on one elbow so she could see him better. The gauze covering his chest was bloody, but the dark, rusty color hopefully meant his wounds were mostly closed. She smoothed a hand over an uninjured part of his chest. She’d have to ask Jimmy if he could bring them some more blood later.

Spike looked mildly offended. “I am very good at evil!”

“Probably not the selling point you want to go with right now, Spike.”

He furrowed his brow. “Oh, right. I meant…kittens are very cute and fluffy.”

Buffy couldn’t hold back her laughter, burying her head against his shoulder. She’d been worried last night that in the light of day she was going to think she’d lost her mind. Maybe that wasn’t entirely off the table just yet, but at least it was a happy sort of crazy. When she regained control of herself she picked up her head and found Spike watching her with a pleased expression on his face. “I’m pretty sure there’s a middle ground between kittens and evil, but nice try.”

Spike’s mouth turned down in a pout and Buffy became transfixed by the shape of it. “Bit of a learning curve, love, doing my best.”

Buffy traced his bottom lip with one finger. “We’ll work on it.”

Spike reached up to slide a hand into her hair, pulling her head down to his. “Better at not talking anyways.” And then he was kissing her, his lips firm and demanding as they met hers, his tongue inviting her to open up for him. His other hand slipped under her shirt to caress the bare skin of her lower back. Buffy propped herself up over him, careful not to put any weight on his injuries as they explored each other’s mouths.

She finally remembered her sister was coming back any minute and pulled away, gasping. Spike’s eyes were full of happiness and something she wasn’t quite ready to name. “Um, good morning?” she said, feeling her cheeks heat.

His hand slid further up her back under thin camisole she was wearing. “Yes it is. Want to make it better?”

Buffy rolled her eyes, still smiling. “Dawn’s probably almost ready.” She pushed herself up to sitting, leaning over to brushing one last kiss across his lips as he started to pout again. “And I think we’ve freaked her out enough for one day.” Gently, she touched the edge of one of the gauze squares taped to his chest. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” Spike winced, belying his words as he sat up. He leaned back against the headboard and sighed heavily.

“You should rest today. I need you in top form.” Spike lifted one eyebrow and Buffy lifted hers in return. “To help keep Dawn safe?” she reminded him innocently.

His expression turned serious. “ ‘Course, love. Not going to let you down, I swear.”

She reached out to take his hand, hoping he’d understand she’d just been teasing. “I know you won’t, Spike.” Pressing a kiss to his palm, she watched Spike’s face as he relaxed again. “I’m going to go have some lunch with my sister and try to head her freak-out off at the pass. There’s some blood left in the mini-fridge, I’ll see if I can get more from Jimmy tonight.”

Spike sighed dramatically and let her interlace their fingers. She liked how their hands fit together, his not so big that hers seemed to disappear, and his grip strong and sure.  “Alright. Just…don’t change your mind while you’re gone?” His tone was close enough to pleading that Buffy looked up, startled.

She reached out to touch his cheek. “I won’t.”

He nodded, though the worry lines between his eyes didn’t disappear. “Okay, go fix everything with your sis. I’ll see you both after?”

“We shouldn’t be long. Dawn and I will stick close by today in case you need anything.”

“You don’t have to coddle me,” Spike grumped. “I’ll be fine, just need-”

“I’m coming out!” Dawn hollered through the bathroom door. “So don’t be…doing anything!”

 “I’m not coddling,” Buffy said in exasperation as Dawn cracked open the bathroom door and peeked out before opening it all the way.

“Just need a bit of time to heal up, is all.”

“I know, Spike, that’s what I just said!”

“So, you guys are back to normal now?” Dawn asked, sitting down on her bed and pulling on her sneakers.

“I’m trying to take care of you, you stupid vampire,” Buffy huffed, getting up from the bed and glaring at him.

Spike’s indignation seemed to melt away. “You…really?” he asked.

“I’m seriously going to die if I don’t get food. How’s this shirt?” Dawn held up a long sleeve black v-neck tee from Buffy’s bag. “I saw your jeans in the bathroom, they’re totally trashed. Did you bring another pair?” She dug back into Buffy’s duffle.

“Forget it, I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want,” Buffy said, trying not to let the hurt show in her voice.

“That’s not…Buffy.” Spike started to lean forward and made a pained noise.

Buffy felt her own anger evaporate as she rounded the bed and gently pushed him back against the pillows. “Will you at least stay put until you heal a little bit more?”

Spike gazed up at her with a growing smile. “Only if you promise to do that again when I’m feeling better.” Buffy tried unsuccessfully to fight a blush even as her fingertips started gliding down his arms.

“Hey, no doing anything while I’m standing right here!” Dawn exclaimed, shaking a clean pair of jeans at them. “You go get dressed,” she told Buffy sternly, shoving clothes at her.

“But-”

“Go!” Dawn pointed at the bathroom door. “Or I’m going to sign us up for a nature hike.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, hiking?”

Spike chuckled, and Dawn turned her glare on him. “Don’t think I don’t know who left that stuffed buffalo in my bed, mister.” Spike affected an innocent expression that wasn’t fooling anyone.

“I’ll just get dressed,” Buffy said hastily, heading for the bathroom.

***

They left Spike with a mug of warm blood and what seemed like every pillow Dawn could find shoved behind him, along with the television remote.

Dawn had practically frog-marched Buffy down the stairs and into the dining room where they found the lunch buffet just being set up and a very long line. Dawn sighed heavily as they joined the other waiting diners. Buffy hoped the food would mellow her sister a little bit before the interrogation began, but from the dark looks Dawn was giving the sandwich station, the odds weren’t good.

“Listen, Dawn, about Spike-” Buffy started, hoping to just get this over with. It was like ripping off a band-aid, right?

“Don’t even try and pretend it didn’t happen. I have pictures.”

“You took pictures? While we were sleeping?”

“Yep.” Dawn looked very pleased with herself.

“That is a total invasion of privacy!”

“What privacy? We’re all in the same room!”

“Dude, I mean, Miss Summers!” A bright-eyed kid in desperate need of a haircut and wearing a collared Yellowstone polo shirt with a nametag came bouncing across the room, apparently having been lying in wait for them.

Buffy shoved Dawn behind her even though it was daylight, the kid looked barely old enough to drive, and he definitely wasn’t one of Glory’s minions.

“Hey!” Dawn yelped.

“Who are you?” Buffy asked suspiciously.

“Oh!” The kid stuck out his hand and Buffy slowly extended hers. He grabbed her hand and started shaking it up and down. “I’m Cody,” he replied, continuing to shake her hand while staring at her in a starry-eyed way that was kind of starting to make her uncomfortable.

“Um.” Buffy retrieved her hand. “Did you want something?”

“Oh man, I’m sorry, it’s just…this is so awesome.”

Dawn peered at him over Buffy’s shoulder. “What’s awesome?”

“Hey, are you some kind of rad superhero chick too?” Cody asked enthusiastically.

Buffy immediately reached out and grabbed him by the collar, twisting it just enough to make it very uncomfortable. “Who are you? What do you want?”

“Buffy,” Dawn hissed frantically. “People are looking!”

Cody made a gurgling sound, and Buffy noticed idly that his nametag said he was from Oregon as she loosened her grip slightly so he could respond. “Jimmy told me to look out for you today,” he gasped.

“Oh,” Buffy said sheepishly, letting him go. She patted his wrinkled collar. “Oops.”

“You are really strong,” Cody said, wincing and rubbing his throat.

“She forgets that a lot.” Dawn sighed dramatically. “Sorry.” She held out her hand. “I’m Dawn, her non-spaz of a sister.”

“Oh, no, it’s cool.” Cody flashed Dawn a bright smile and shook her hand. “And it’s rad to meet you, Dawn. Come on, I’ll get you guys a table. We just started lunch service but I can put in a special request for breakfast if you want. After totally killing that giant…”

“Sounds great!” Buffy said loudly, cutting him off and pushing him gently away from the buffet line.

“Jeez, what did you do last night, put on a Slaying show?” Dawn whispered.

“No!” Buffy hissed back. “At least, I don’t remember this guy being there.”

They followed Cody across the brightly lit dining room to a table by the kitchen and Buffy had to stop him from trying to pull her chair out for her. “So, what’s your poison?” he asked once they were settled.

“Whatever they served for breakfast is fine,” Buffy said.

“And crepes?” Dawn asked eagerly.

“Dude, I love crepes,” Cody said, sounding delighted. “Hang tight and I’ll take care of it.” He disappeared into the kitchen.

Buffy stared at Dawn in confusion. “What just happened?”

“You tell me,” Dawn said, folding her arms across her chest. “I mean, first I find you and Spike all cuddly upstairs and, can I just say, that better be the only thing that happened because I was  _in_   _the room_  with you guys! Then it turns out Spike’s hurt pretty bad, even though you said last night it was just some routine slaying thing, and then we come down here and it’s like we’re suddenly VIPs or something!” Dawn stopped to draw breath. “That last part’s kind of cool, actually.”

Buffy shifted nervously in her seat. “Um, yeah, about Spike…”

Dawn narrowed her eyes at Buffy. “You better not hurt him.”

Buffy’s mouth dropped open. “What?” That was pretty much the last thing she’d expected to hear from anyone, though she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised it was coming from Dawn.

“I know he was all evil or whatever but, seriously, he’s like one of the only people we know who doesn’t treat me like a complete freak and I don’t want you getting all weird and making him go away.”

“Who treats you like a freak?” Buffy asked, bewildered.

Dawn stared at the tabletop and gave a half-hearted shrug. “I don’t know. Everyone else, I guess.”

“You mean Willow and the others?” Buffy said, frowning. “What did they do?”

“Nothing, really,” Dawn replied, still not meeting her eyes. “It’s just…ever since they all found out I’m the key, things have been…different. Before, I was just your kid sister or whatever, but now it’s like…like I’m some alien they’re not sure how to communicate with. No one’s been mean or anything, they just act weird around me.”

“Dawn, I’m sure if I-”

“It doesn’t matter,” Dawn interrupted, finally lifting her head. Her eyes were brimming with unshed tears. “I know I’m not normal, but neither are you and they don’t seem to have a problem with it.”

Buffy gave her a wry smile. “You’d be surprised.”

“Well,” Dawn continued determinedly. “Besides you, Spike’s pretty much the only other person who doesn’t seem to care what I am.” She paused for a moment, looking contemplative. “Maybe because he’s not normal either.”

“You can say that again,” Buffy muttered.

“Promise you’re not going to make him leave?”

“Dawn, I don’t want him to leave,” Buffy said. The words hung in the air between them and Buffy felt a little lighter now that she’d shared that particular secret. “It’s…it’s nice, having him around.”

Dawn lifted her eyebrows. “Really? But what about, you know, Giles and everybody hating him?”

Cody came scurrying back from the kitchen just then, bearing two plates piled high with eggs and pancakes and bacon. At least he had great timing. Buffy had no idea how she would have answered Dawn’s question. “Breakfast is served,” he announced cheerfully. “Dig in. The crepes are totally on their way.” 

“Thanks.” Buffy smiled at the kid who apparently took his Jimmy-assigned duties very seriously.

Cody beamed at her. “No problem. Hey, so, Corporal Ramirez wanted to talk to you.” He leaned closer and lowered his voice to a stage-whisper. “About that…thing.” He winked awkwardly, and Dawn covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. “You know, when you’re done.”

Buffy glanced at her sister, who shrugged unconcernedly. “Sure, I guess” Buffy replied.

Cody flashed her another giant grin. “Sweet! I’ll show you where his office is. He’s totally chill, you’ll like him.” He shot them a pair of finger guns and disappeared again.

The last person Buffy had met with a title like corporal had been decidedly unchill, but so far she hadn’t gotten any Initiative-like vibes from anyone here. Maybe she should try and keep Spike off their radar just in case.

“So.” Dawn drowned her plate in a lake of syrup. “What did you slay last night and how the heck did it get us pancakes?”

Buffy glanced around the crowded dining room. The newly-opened buffet seemed to be keeping everyone’s attention for the moment. “Um, you’ll have to ask Spike to tell you the name, but basically a giant lizard. It was a little tougher than we thought it would be.”

“Spike’s going to be okay, right?”

“He caught some claws to the chest, but he’ll be fine, Dawn. The thing was pretty fast.”

Dawn eyed her. “Spike’s fast, too.”

Buffy concentrated on making sure she had a good syrup to pancake ratio on her plate. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until food had been put in front of her. “Um, yeah, he…well, there was a momentary problem, and he thought I needed help.” She speared a piece of pancake, irritated all over again about Spike practically dusting himself for her. She wasn’t the one who needed protecting, it was Dawn who was important. “Which I so did not,” she said defensively, forgetting she was trying to appease her sister. “But he got himself hurt anyways.”

Dawn was watching her with a knowing expression. “Because he loves you,” she said solemnly. 

Buffy puffed out a breath and drew a design in her syrup with the tip of her fork. “He…look, Dawn, it’s complicated. I have no idea what’s going to happen with Glory and we’re going to keep you safe no matter what, but I promise I’ll try not to be push-away Buffy. I think I just realized that maybe Spike’s…I don’t know, not exactly what I thought he was.”

Dawn let out a snort. “Duh.” She scooped up a forkful of eggs. “Plus, he’s way cooler than…uh, another guy.”

Buffy smiled a little. “You think so, huh?”

“Totally.” Dawn nodded decisively and then suddenly grinned. “Hey, I bet he needs a new sweatshirt.”

Buffy laughed.


	15. Not a Through Road

Cody led them through a door on one side of the lobby and down a long, narrow hallway, talking a mile a minute the whole time with Dawn hanging on every word and Buffy trying valiantly to look like she was listening. She was pretty sure the subject was rocks, but she didn’t recognize many of words— plagioclase?—he was using. She let out a small sigh of relief when he stopped in front a discrete wooden door and knocked.

“Come in!” called a gruff male voice.

“Here she is, man, I mean, sir!” Cody announced proudly, opening the door and stepping through.

Buffy followed him into a small room dominated by a large, battered wooden desk and several file cabinets. The man sitting behind the desk was tall and lanky with broad shoulders and messy dark hair. A hat that reminded Buffy of Smokey the Bear was perched precariously on a pile of papers on the desk.

“Nice work, Cody.” The corporal smiled at Buffy and Dawn and indicated a pair of wooden chairs. “Please have a seat.” Cody waved as he slipped back out the door and shut it behind him.

“Thanks.” Buffy sat down gingerly, trying not to feel like she was in the principal’s office.

“Apparently, I should be thanking you, Buffy,” the corporal said. “Ranger Simmons was very…colorful in his description of your involvement in this whole incident. I understand you have a companion, is he able to join us?”

Buffy paused for a moment. She still wasn’t quite sure where this was going, but so far no one seemed to be all that concerned about the giant demon lizard thing. It was a little weird, but maybe when you hung around buffalos and geysers and bubbling rainbow pools all day, weird was relative. “He was hurt. He’s resting, Corporal,” she replied cautiously.

“I’m Dawn, her sister,” Dawn piped in.

“Nice to meet you both. Please, call me Jorge.” The corporal leaned back in his chair, making it squeak loudly. “So, Buffy, tell me, how did you know about that thing? I sure as hell haven’t seen anything like it, and I’ve been working here for over a decade. A lava lizard, I’m told. We managed to load it up and get the carcass out of here before sunrise, but Jimmy was a bit too overwrought to make much sense. He was very adamant that you’d saved his life.”

Buffy shrugged. “It’s kind of my job to know about things like that. I have some, uh, special skills.” She winced at how inane that sounded, but she really didn’t think they were ready for the ‘one girl in all the world’ spiel.

“She saves people,” Dawn said, sounding surprisingly defensive. “And she’s really good at it.”

Jorge regarded them thoughtfully, his dark eyes kind. “I see. Well, we greatly appreciate your help. I have no doubt more people would have been hurt if you hadn’t stopped it. My men are used to dealing with problem bears, but not giant…lizards.” He got up and moved to a corner of the room, sliding a few framed maps leaning against the wall out of the way. “I believe these are yours?” He hefted an ax and a sword, setting them on the desk. Both were clean. Buffy’s eyes widened in surprise. She’d half-expected to never see those weapons again.

“Yes? Thank you.”

“Of course. I’ll have someone bring them up to your room when we can.”

Buffy stared at him, unsure how to respond. “Okay,” she finally said. “Um, you’re not…you know, going to tell a lot of people about this or anything?”

Jorge shot her a wry smile. “Not sure what the hell I would say, frankly. Simmons knows, obviously, since he saw you last night, and Jimmy. Cody’s the only other person who is aware that you and, ah, I’m sorry, what’s your partner’s name?”

“Spike,” Buffy said automatically, wondering if she should correct his terminology. Except Spike kind of was her partner right now. In the fighty sense for sure, and possibly in another sense, if those kisses were anything to go by.

Jorge raised one eyebrow. “Spike,” he repeated, “have taken care of what we’re calling our ‘bear problem’. Cody showed up earlier for his shift than we expected and stumbled onto the clean-up operation, but he’s a good kid. Wants to be a ranger when he’s old enough.”

“Really?” Dawn asked. “He didn’t tell me that.” Buffy shot an amused glance in her sister’s direction and a blush bloomed in Dawn’s cheeks. “What?” she said defensively.

“Nothing,” Buffy replied.

A smile tugged at the corner of Jorge’s mouth. He cleared his throat and Buffy turned her attention back to him. “Cody volunteered to work in the lodge today so he could meet you. Apparently, Simmons’ description of you got a little mythological. I believe the term ‘warrior princess’ might have been used.”

It was Buffy’s turn to blush. “Oh.”

“So.” Jorge settled back into the chair behind his desk. “What can we do for you?”

Buffy was taken aback by the question. “We’re fine. Thank you.”

Jorge frowned. “Are you sure? Jimmy said he’d already comped your room. Anything you need, you just ask. We’re grateful you took care of that thing before anyone else got killed and we had to shut down this area of the park. Tourist season’s just starting up, you know, and it would have been a major blow for us. What about something from the gift shop?”

“Really?” Dawn asked eagerly. “That would be so cool!”

Buffy found herself at a loss for words. A week away from Sunnydale and suddenly people were trying to repay her for doing her duty. She almost wanted to call Angel to tell him he wasn’t the only one who was out there getting credit for helping the hopeless or whatever. “Um, you don’t have to-”

Jorge waved off her excuses and picked up the phone. “Once I figure out how to tell the director about this, he’d be in complete agreement.”

“Thanks?” Buffy said faintly. Maybe they really were in a parallel universe. She and Dawn stood up as Jorge barked instructions into the phone, giving him a small wave while they slipped out his office door.

Buffy stood in the hall for a moment, trying to sort through everything that had just happened. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had thanked her for killing stuff. Oh, Giles always gave her a perfunctory “nice work” and Willow and Xander were usually supportive, but actual, genuine thankfulness? It had been a while. Her whole heart felt a little lighter. Maybe she wasn’t such a terrible Slayer after all, even if she had run away from Glory.

Dawn linked her arm with Buffy’s. “Can we go to the gift shop right now?”

***

“And then Cody let me pick out whatever I wanted!” Dawn tossed two gift store bags that were full to bursting on her bed. Spike was sitting where they’d left him, but the gauze that’d been covering his wounds was gone and the gashes had healed enough to look much less horrifying than they had last night.

“Who’s Cody?” Spike asked curiously. 

“One of the guys who works here.” Buffy stuck a mug of blood in the microwave to heat. While Dawn had rampaged through the gift store, Buffy had been pulled aside by a tired-looking Jimmy who’d wanted to know how Spike was doing. It’d taken her a long time to convince the poor desk clerk that everything was fine, and the searching look he’d given her when she’d asked if he could get her more blood worried her a little. Spike’s vulnerability to humans was starting to seem more dangerous the longer they were away from home.

“He’s super nice,” Dawn said. “He knows tons about the park.”

“Does he now?” Spike said, his eyes narrowing.

“I hope you didn’t go crazy, Dawn,” Buffy said, feeling like she should at least try to be the voice of reason. “We shouldn’t take advantage.”

“Whatever.” Dawn rolled her eyes. “I didn’t start demanding jewelry or anything, god, Buffy.” She paused. “Well, except for this one necklace, but it wasn’t expensive and it’s super cool. Look!” She dug through one of the bags and pulled out a small box.

Buffy handed the mug to Spike, her fingers lingering against his for longer than strictly necessary, before peering at the necklace Dawn was holding. It was a small, polished rock with a tiny fossil embedded in it. Buffy had to admit it was pretty.

“It is cool, Dawn, but you know we shouldn’t-”

“And I got you a pair of earrings.” Dawn held up a second small box triumphantly. Nestled inside were the two silver hoops with multicolored stones threaded on them that Buffy had noticed yesterday.

“Ooh.” Buffy pulled them out and admired them.

Spike snorted in amusement behind her.

“I mean.” Buffy tried to be stern. “This is a lot, Dawn.”

“Cody said it was fine!”

“Cody doesn’t own the park. It’s not his to give.”

“The federal government does, love,” Spike said. “And I’m fairly certain they owe you for the number of apocalypses you’ve prevented.”

Buffy contemplated her shiny new earrings for a second. “Yeah, okay. But this is it, Dawn.”

Dawn squealed and hugged her, surprising Buffy. “Look what else I got!” She started pulling out clothing and books, making three separate piles on her bed as Buffy settled herself next to Spike and put on her earrings.

“Very nice.” Spike’s voice was low in her ear, his hand slipping across her lower back as he wrapped an arm around her waist. She turned to regard him, biting her lower lip.

“Thanks,” she felt herself flush a little as his hand slipped up under her shirt and his fingers caressed her bare skin. He kissed the juncture of her neck and her shoulder softly, making her shiver.

“And I got Spike two new sweatshirts, because he’ll probably ruin another one, and then look, Buffy! They had this super cute t-shirt with Old Faithful on it.” She held it up proudly.

Buffy felt Spike stifle a laugh against her shoulder as Dawn tossed the t-shirt into one of the piles. “Don’t you dare say anything,” she muttered.

“And…hey! No making out when I’m in the room!” Dawn scowled at them and Buffy started guiltily, sitting up straight so she wasn’t leaning into Spike.

“Maybe you should go back down to the shops, bit. You might have missed a few things,” Spike suggested.

Dawn’s brow furrowed. “I thought I wasn’t supposed to-”

There was a knock at the door and Buffy got up, grateful for the interruption. “No one’s going anywhere.”

She opened the door to find Cody on the other side with a room service cart. “Hey, Cody, what…”

Dawn was at her side a second later. “Hi Cody,” her sister said breathlessly.

“Check this out,” Cody said, whipping a tablecloth off the cart with a flourish and revealing the weapons from Jorge’s office. Buffy’s eyes widened, and she hurriedly yanked the cart into the room so no one wandering by would spot them.

Cody wandered in too. “Cool, huh?” he asked enthusiastically. “I thought of it myself.”

Spike had gotten up from the bed and was standing in the middle of the room in his sweatpants and bare feet, the half-healed wounds on his chest making him look even more dangerous than usual. “This is Cody?” he asked, sounding entirely put out.

“Hey, man, you must be Spike.” Cody lifted his hand in the vampire’s direction. “Dawn was telling me about you.”

“I showed him that necklace we picked out,” Dawn said eagerly to Cody.

“Awesome, right?” Cody beamed at Spike, apparently not noticing the vampire’s glower. “It’s a trilobite, and there were like, billions of those little guys.”

Spike just grunted.

“Yes, very pretty,” Buffy assured Cody, taking the weapons off the cart and making sure they were out of Spike’s reach. She nudged the kid and his cart towards the door. “Thanks, Cody, we really appreciate it.” She gave him one last gentle shove into the hall and closed the door behind him before turning to the others. They were both glaring at her.

“That was so rude, Buffy,” Dawn huffed. “I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.”

“I’m sure we’ll see him later, Dawn.”

“Can he see anything under that mop he’s got stuck on his head?” Spike asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Buffy put her hands on her hips. “What are you even doing up? Aren’t you supposed to be taking it easy?”

Spike narrowed his eyes. “Maybe if strangers weren’t waltzing into our room every five minutes.”

“Cody is not a stranger!” Dawn protested. 

Buffy rolled her eyes. “He was just bringing back the weapons, Spike.”

“How many bloody people in this place are at your beck and call?”

Buffy stiffened, oddly hurt. “They’re helping us because we helped them, okay?” 

“Oh, sure, they’re just being nice to a couple of beautiful girls because of a dead Pāhoehoe Mo’o,” Spike said, making his way back to the bed and settling against the headboard again with a faint wince. “Are one of these grateful ponces taking you out to dinner tonight as well?”

“Spike, what-” Buffy paused mid-retort, realizing suddenly that Spike was…jealous. She blinked at him for a moment, feeling the tense muscles in her shoulders uncoil. She walked slowly towards the bed. “They’ve all asked about you too, you know. But since it’s daytime and you look like someone’s been operating on you without a license, I figured you’d rather be left alone.” Spike continued to sulk. Buffy sighed. “Dawn, close your eyes.”

“What? Oh, gross!” Dawn flounced into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Buffy climbed up on the bed and straddled Spike’s thighs so she was facing him. She reached out to cup his cheek and turn his head toward her, but he still avoided her eyes. “Spike,” she said softly. “I appreciate their help because it’s giving you time to get better.” She gently touched a spot on his chest near one angry red gash.

“I’ll be ready for Dawn duty by tomorrow, most likely, so you won’t have to worry about me for much longer.” Spike lifted his gaze to meet hers and she caught her breath at the hurt shining there. “We staying on here for a while?”

“We could,” Buffy said, trying to pick her words carefully. “But I think Dawn’s crush might just get worse and I kind of miss it being just the three of us. And I was hoping to have dinner with you.”

Spike’s hands settled on her hips. “He’s too old for her,” he grumbled. 

“Says the vampire.”

Huffing out a breath, Spike’s hands caressed her hips and the frown lines on his face softened. Buffy leaned in, careful to avoid his chest. She kissed him softly, coaxing him until he relaxed and began to respond, letting her slip her tongue into his mouth. He broke the kiss after a moment, surprising her. “What is this, exactly?”

Buffy sat back and bit her lower lip. “I don’t know,” she admitted quietly. She traced the pronounced line of one of his cheekbone. “But I’d like to find out, okay?”

Spike’s chest rose and fell in a silent sigh. “Yeah, okay.”

Buffy rewarded him with a chaste kiss. “Get better. I’d like to do more than snuggle, eventually.”

“Yeah?” Spike looked mollified. His fingers tightened on her hips, pulling her more firmly onto his lap. Heat pooled between her legs as his erection pressed against her. 

Buffy grasped his arms tightly and swallowed a moan. “Yes, you doof.”

Spike lifted an eyebrow. “Doof?”

“Doof,” Buffy confirmed. “I am enjoying the shirtlessness though, except for, you know, all the gross, open wounds.”

Spike was grinning now. “That right, kitten? Knew you couldn’t resist me.”

Buffy heard the bathroom door creak open and reluctantly scooted back. “We’re good?”

“Yeah.” Spike let her slide away, looking much happier. He pulled a pillow into his lap as Dawn emerged from the bathroom, eying them both suspiciously. 

“Since I have to put up with you guys, like, kissing or whatever, I get to pick what’s on TV,” Dawn announced.

“Sure, bit.”

“Cody said there was a documentary about the caldera we should watch,” Dawn said, picking up the remote and flipping through the channels as she settled onto the end of Spike’s bed.

Spike let out a low growl that faded as Buffy kicked off her shoes and curled up next to him. “Good, I was hoping for a nap,” Buffy whispered. Spike’s chuckle rolled through his chest as he wrapped an arm around her and she settled her head against his shoulder. He pressed a kiss to her temple as the soothing sounds of a documentary narrator filled the room.

***

“So back in the olden days people would bathe in some of the springs because they’re warm like a hot tub but that’s really bad for the bacteria in it and…”

Spike lifted an eyebrow at Buffy from across the table in the dining room as Dawn continued her enthusiastic recap of the documentary she’d watched. “Sounds nice, maybe we should go find one.”

Buffy fought a blush. 

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you listen? You can’t go in, it’ll destroy the ecosystem.”

“Would be worth it,” Spike muttered into his mug, eying Buffy over the rim. Yeah, she was definitely blushing.

Jimmy had come by the table earlier and set a coffee carafe at Spike’s elbow, announcing, “Blood.” Everyone at the table had been startled into silence, and Spike watched him warily as Buffy tensed, trying to decide whether she needed to get between him and Spike or not. Jimmy had simply nodded at the window next to their table, which was reflecting the interior of the dining room and the remaining diners, minus Spike. Then the man had lowered the blinds and disappeared.

“This isn’t half bad.” Spike peered into his mug. “I’ll have to ask what it is.”

“You don’t think that’s kind of…weird?” Buffy indicated the direction Jimmy had gone. She and Dawn had both gotten another amazing meal, and the chef had even attempted to make Spike some fried onion thing.

Spike shrugged. “Maybe he’s just grateful.”

“We should move here,” Dawn said around a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

“You know we can’t, Dawn.” Buffy smiled slightly to soften her words.

Spike leaned back in his chair. “We’ll just have to make the most of it, bit.”

Dawn sighed heavily. The dining room was almost deserted and the kitchen crew was clearing away the dinner buffet. “Want to go watch Old Faithful?”

Buffy winced. “Again?” They’d seen it a second time before dinner so Dawn could take pictures, and while Buffy had enjoyed the excuse to cuddle up next to Spike, she was kind of over the whole water spouting up from the earth thing.

A shout outside drew Buffy’s attention. She turned her head at the sound of squealing tires and saw one of the ranger’s trucks speeding away. Spike caught her eye and lifted one shoulder in a slight shrug.

Jimmy rushed into the dining room a minute later, stopping at the end of their table. He was clearly nervous, wringing his hands. “Uh, may I, um, see you for a moment?” His eyes darted between Spike and Buffy.

Buffy frowned and stood. “Of course.” Spike drained his mug and Dawn took one last bite of potatoes before they all got up and followed Jimmy out into the lobby. When he opened a door to a familiar hallway, Buffy began to worry. “Is everyone okay?”

Jimmy looked over his shoulder. “The corporal’s on his way in now.” He ushered them into Jorge’s office and turned to leave. “He’ll be here shortly to explain. I have to get back to the desk.”

“Jimmy.” Spike blocked the man’s way, looming over him in the doorway and looking more like the predator Buffy remembered. “Listen, mate, I appreciate the blood tonight and all, but let’s keep that to ourselves, yeah?”

Jimmy shrank back, nodding fervently. “Of course, Mr. Spike I…well, who would I tell?” Jimmy gave him a weak smile. “My gran used to tell us stories...no one ever believed her.” The clerk quickly made the sign of the cross, and Spike stepped back to let him leave. 

Buffy grasped Spike’s hand, threading her fingers through the vampire’s. “Whatever you heard, Jimmy, Spike’s not like that. He’s…he’s different.”

The man nodded again, looking calmer. “I can see that, Miss Summers.”

Spike clapped a hand on the man’s shoulder, making him jump. “Thanks again for the blood. What kind was that, by the way?”

“Uh, elk?” Jimmy gaped at him.

“Much better than pig. Have to remember that.”

Jimmy smiled weakly and scuttled away, leaving the three of them alone. Dawn was perched on the edge of the desk and playing with the Smokey the Bear hat.

“That’s not yours, Dawn.”

Her sister huffed a sigh. “I just wanted to try it on.”

“This the bloke you talked to before?”

Buffy nodded, looking around the office. Dawn set the hat down and slumped into the wooden chair Buffy had sat in earlier.

Spike lounged against the wall by the door. “Wonder what’s got their knickers in a twist now?”

Buffy was starting to feel uneasy just as Jorge came barreling through the door, stopping short when he caught sight of them. “Good, you’re here.” He offered his hand to Spike. “Glad to see you’ve recovered. I’m Jorge.”

Spike hesitated for a moment before taking the man’s hand. “Spike.”

“What’s going on?” Buffy asked curiously.

Jorge’s mouth flattened into a thin line. “We might have another one of those lizards.”

“Cool.” Dawn’s eyes were wide.

Spike straightened up from the wall and glanced at Buffy. “What are you telling us for?”

Jorge looked at the two of them. “Look, you're apparently a lot more familiar with these things than any of my guys. Any advice you could give us would be greatly appreciated.” Jorge ran a hand through his hair and picked his hat up off his desk. “We found a couple bodies up at one of the remote springs. They’re pretty fresh, probably killed this afternoon. If there’s anything you can tell us, anything at all, I’d be grateful.”

Buffy glanced at Spike before answering. She already knew her answer, but she didn’t want him to get hurt more than he already was.

“Don’t look at me like I’m your soldier boy,” the vampire growled.

“I’m not!” she protested, startled. “Are you sure you’ve healed enough to-”

“I’m fine, Slayer. Not letting you chase after this thing alone.”

Buffy turned to Jorge. “We’ll help. Did anyone see it?”

Jorge shook his head. “Not yet. Could be a false alarm, maybe something else got those kids, but the way they were…well, it looked a lot like what happened to Simon from Indiana.”

“We’ll follow you out there.”

Jorge frowned. “All of you?”

“All of us,” Buffy said firmly.


	16. Wish You Were Here

“I know you’re not like Riley,” Buffy said into the silence of the car. She caught a flash of red brake lights from Jorge’s truck through the black-smeared windshield as he made a sharp turn off the main road. The ranger had raised an eyebrow at Spike’s not-quite-legal car alterations but hadn’t asked for an explanation. Yet.

Spike had barely said two words since they’d left the lodge and even Dawn had been uncharacteristically quiet.

“I bloody well hope so,” Spike muttered. He wasn’t looking at her. The sleeves of his new sweatshirt—a dark green one with a bear on the front that Dawn had insisted he wear —were pushed up to his elbows, leaving his forearms bare. Buffy could practically see the tension thrumming through them.

She reached out to touch one of his hands where it was clenched tightly around the steering wheel. He finally glanced in her direction. “I know, Spike, and I’m glad.”

She felt his grip loosen a little and she tugged his hand gently away from the wheel, sliding their palms together. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” she said firmly. “Very much with the yes.” She was quiet for a long moment, trying to sort out the mess in her head. Riley’s sudden departure from Sunnydale had gotten all tangled up with her mom’s death and the compounded feeling of loss had nearly overwhelmed the rest of her emotions. She took a deep breath and decided to dive right in. “I never loved him, you know.” Dawn made a surprised noise in the backseat and Buffy felt a twinge of guilt, but it was probably good for her sister to hear this, too. Maybe Dawn wouldn’t make the same mistakes Buffy had.

Spike glanced at her, his brow furrowed. “You didn’t?”

“Not like I wanted to. I thought for a long time that I would, eventually, but…no.” Buffy shook her head briefly. “I did care about him, but he was right, I guess, about me holding back. It was just…I don’t think he ever really got the whole Slayer thing. I had to be careful with him all the time, even when I just was talking about it. He was always trying to prove…something, even though it didn’t matter to me.”

Spike snorted. “Stupid git,” he muttered under his breath. His hand squeezed hers.

Buffy smiled a little. “It used to make me so mad, you know?”

“That he didn’t get you?”

“Yes,” Buffy said. She barely got the next words out, “And that you did.”

Spike looked over at her, his expression cautious. “Still make you mad?” he asked quietly.

Buffy thought back over the last few days, and while she could remember frustration and tension and confusion, there wasn’t any anger. At least, none directed at Spike. “No.”

“Glad to hear it.”

The headlights flashed over pale trunks of trees outside, crowded together like they were sharing secrets. “I think he knew that, too,” Buffy admitted softly. “And it probably didn’t help any that you came up more than once in our arguments.” 

“Did I?” Spike sounded pleased with himself.

“Not in a good way, Spike.”

“Still, nice to know I was on your mind, Slayer.” Spike slowed the car as it bumped over a row of exposed roots, but he didn’t let go of her hand. “Since you were dancing through mine every moment.”

Buffy swallowed the fear bubbling up inside her. His words were big and overwhelming and, at the same time, comforting. It was like he’d carved out a spot inside himself just for her, knowing it would be a perfect fit. She had no idea how this whole Spike-thing was going to work once they were back in Sunnydale, but out here, with the stars shining brightly overhead and his fingers stroking the back of her hand like an unspoken promise, she felt like she could almost see what he’d imagined for them.

“I…well, I can’t say I didn’t know, but I’m sorry I didn’t understand.”

Spike let out a snort. “Yeah, well, maybe I wasn’t doing the best job of showing you.”

Buffy shot him a smile. “You really need to work on your big overtures. Maybe just channel some Lloyd Dobler next time.”

Dawn muffled a giggle in the backseat.

“What? Who?” Spike asked in confusion.

Buffy lifted her eyebrows. “Chains, Spike? Ring any bells?”

He looked sheepish now. “Oh, well, still learning all your stupid human rules.”

“You were a human!”

“Been a vampire a lot longer than I was human,” Spike protested.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Don’t even. I’ve never had so many doors held open for me in my life.”

“That’s just good manners, and I seem to remember a bloody impatient Slayer who refused to listen to my very sound reasoning, so I had to take drastic steps. Made sure you didn’t get hurt, didn’t I?”

“I’m can’t believe you’re trying to win this argument! Chains are of the bad, Spike.”

“Not if you know how to use ‘em proper.”

“Um, hello? I’m still back here,” Dawn said from behind them.

“Oh, right.” Spike turned slightly in his seat. “Anyone tries to chain you up, bit, I’ll kill…” he glanced at Buffy, “uh, give them a piece of my mind?”

“Oh no, they’re totally dead meat,” Buffy agreed.

Spike grinned and tugged on her hand until she slid across the seat and tucked herself up under his arm.

“How much further?” Dawn said, leaning over the seatback as they jostled over another uneven patch of ground.

“Hopefully not far,” Spike replied. “Car isn’t built for these back roads.”

“Where do you think we should go next?” Buffy asked as Spike slowed to round a corner that nearly turned in a complete circle.

“How far is it to Oregon?” Dawn asked. “Cody said it’s really nice.”

“Probably full of wankers,” Spike muttered under his breath.

Buffy patted his knee. “Washington might be neat. I’ve always wanted to see Seattle.”

“Might catch a glimpse of some whales this time of year, too,” Spike mused.

“Whales?” Dawn repeated eagerly. “Cool!”

Spike’s smirk, lit by the dashboard lights, was smug.

“Sounds like a plan,” Buffy said.

Dawn sighed happily. “Hey, guys? I know we’re, like, running for our lives or whatever, but I still think this is the best vacation ever.”

Spike chuckled beside Buffy. “Gonna have to agree with you, bit.”

Buffy shook her head. “You two are nuts. We’re in the middle of nowhere hunting down giant lizards.”

“It’s pretty out here though,” Dawn declared. “And you hunt weird things all the time.”

“These things are really dangerous.” Buffy’s grip on Spike’s thigh was probably uncomfortable, but he just tightened his arm around her in response.

“You’ll kill it.” Dawn’s voice was unconcerned. “You’re not afraid of anything.”

Buffy stared at the interior of the blackened windshield, worry curdling in her gut. She  _was_  afraid, she wanted to tell her sister. She was afraid for Dawn, and for Spike, and she was very, very afraid of figuring out what the First Slayer meant by her ‘gift’.

She saw Spike look over out of the corner of her eye, his expression concerned. “Buffy?”

What was she running from, really? Just because there was a window of time when Dawn’s keyness would be the most useful didn’t mean Glory was ever going to stop trying to figure out how to go home. Buffy would have to face her eventually. They couldn’t run forever.

Buffy shook herself out of her reverie. “I think we’re here,” she said quietly as red brake lights filtered through the windshield again. Spike frowned but parked the car in a moonlit clearing behind Jorge’s truck without further comment.

***

“This is where we found them.” Jorge’s voice was low, respectful. Buffy saw a few flashlights bobbing through the trees nearby. The headlights from Jorge’s truck cast a harsh light across the clearing they were in. “The boys are looking for animal signs. I told them to work in pairs and not go far.”

“The Pāhoehoe Mo’o tend to stay underground, close to heat,” Spike said, frowning and looking around the clearing. “These the only springs up here?”

Jorge shook his head. “There’s another over the ridge. It’s a hike though.”

“Same feeder spring?”

“I think so.” Jorge furrowed his brow. “You think it’s nearby?”

“Makes sense.” Spike eyed the ridge in front of them.

“How many of these things do you think are out here?” Jorge asked.

“Likely just the one now. They tend to live in pairs and carve out a large territory.”

“Seriously, I’m telling Giles you put him out of a job,” Buffy said in amusement, tempering her teasing by reaching out to take Spike’s hand. She saw Jorge flick a look between the two of them and wondered just how much Jimmy had told him.  

Spike shot her an exasperated look. “Up for a hike, Slayer?”

Buffy wrinkled her nose. “I guess. We should tell Dawn.”

“I’ll talk to the bit.” Spike headed back to the car.

“I’ll go with you,” Jorge told her. “Can’t have you two getting turned around out here.”

“Spike won’t get lost,” Buffy said, absently studying the hot spring as it gurgled quietly, bubbles lazily breaking the surface every once in a while. It had a strong odor, too. Spike could probably follow it to the source based on that alone. “Can I borrow your flashlight?”

“This isn’t a stroll through Central Park,” Jorge said, handing her a flashlight. “Lots of experienced hikers have died in these hills.”

Buffy cast the light across the dead leaves and dirt underfoot where the bodies had been, then up into the trees, looking for broken branches. “Trust me, Jorge, he won’t get lost.” The man was silent beside her, his back stiff and straight. She could tell he was irritated by her refusal. “Look, I’m not blowing you off. You know we can handle ourselves, right?”

Jorge stared out into the darkness. “From what I’ve heard.”

“Then let me do this my way,”

“He calls you ‘slayer’,” Jorge said abruptly. “What does that mean?”

“It’s what I do. I slay bad things.”

“Like giant lizards.” Jorge sounded skeptical. “That I’ve never heard of.”

Buffy shrugged. “I deal with a lot of stuff no one’s heard of.”

“How is that possible?” Jorge asked, tilting his hat back and frowning at the trees around them.

“You’ve heard of dragons, haven’t you?”

“Of course I’ve heard of…” Jorge stopped talking abruptly and turned to face her. “These are dragons?”

“No, they’re lava lizards.” Buffy gave him a small smile. “But the stories were based on them.” 

“Those are just fairy tales.”

“Sure,” Buffy agreed. “Ways to explain the unexplainable.” Her flashlight illuminated a broken branch, then another one, leading in the opposite direction of the rangers’ search party.    

“Because those things aren’t real,” Jorge replied. There was a momentary silence. “Are they?”

“Some of them,” Buffy said softly.

“Ready, love?” Spike appeared silently at her side with two axes, making Jorge jump.

“I’m ready.” Buffy tried to hand the ranger back his flashlight, but Jorge shook his head.

“Keep it, you’ll need it.”

“We won’t.”

Jorge hesitantly took it from her. Buffy hoisted the ax Spike handed her over her shoulder and nodded in the direction of the broken tree limbs. Spike picked up on it immediately. They left Jorge staring after them, his mouth hanging open.

Spike took her hand in his as they walked past the springs, the vampire taking a deep breath. “Smell that? It’s sulfur. Bet they were living down near the water source, nice and cozy.”

Buffy let Spike lead the way through the dark forest, trusting his eyes and ears to keep them safe. Her hand felt secure in his grasp. They really did fit well together, she realized. She just hadn’t been able to see it before amid the clutter of her life and duty and responsibilities.

“Spike,” Buffy whispered as they picked their way around a ravine. “I think I have to go back.”

Spike stopped and turned to look at her, but his face was shadowed under the trees. She wondered if he was in his vampire mask. She lifted her hands to check and felt him shy away from her touch. Gently, she caught his chin with one hand and dragged her thumb over the ridge she could feel under his eye.

“You worried about Dawn? I left her in the car with the crossbow,” he said, lisping slightly.

Buffy shook her head, knowing he could see her with his golden vampire eyes. Her fingers trailed along the bumps across his brow. “No, I mean back to Sunnydale.”

She heard his low growl. “No, you don’t. We have to keep Dawn safe and away from that hellbitch.”

“You can keep her safe for me.”

Spike shook his head under her hands. “Don’t ask me to stay behind, Slayer.”

“Someone has to protect Dawn.”

“Then we find the Watcher or the witches. You’re not going back without me.”

Buffy was silent, staring into the dark woods surrounding them. “I can’t be afraid of her,” she whispered.

She felt Spike’s hands slip around her waist, pulling her close. “You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever known, Buffy.”

She rested her head against his chest, feeling him nuzzle her hair. “I have to go back.”

“And I’ll be with you every step of the way, love, you understand?”

Tears stung in the corners of her eyes. She opened her mouth to answer when, in the distance, there was a sudden scream, followed by shouting and gunfire. Buffy whirled around.

Spike grabbed her hand. “Hang on.” Buffy grasped his hand tightly as he sprinted back down the hill, concentrating on stepping where he did. A few more shots rang out and Spike growled, yanking her sideways. “Damn fools are shooting this direction.” Buffy could make out a light through the trees.

When they stumbled into the clearing again she realized that Spike had circled around so they’d ended up by the parked cars. Dawn’s face was pressed up against the glass of the car window, and Buffy waved at her to get down. She could see Jorge directing one of the rangers in front of them. Flashlights were lighting up the forest in every direction.

“Jorge!” Buffy ran towards him, more surefooted in the light. Spike stayed beside her, his human face firmly in place.

Jorge whirled around. “Where did you come from? Nevermind, it’s holed up over there against that ridge, a couple of the boys are getting their rifles.”

Spike shook his head. “Hide’s too thick, like an elephant. Doubt you’ve got the firepower for that.”

Buffy spun the ax in her hand. “Let us take care of it.”

Jorge stared at them grimly before striding away, barking into his radio. Buffy didn’t understand the garbled messages coming out of it, but Jorge apparently did. “They’re keeping it pinned down for you.” He gestured toward a crevice in the rocks. One ranger was on his stomach behind a rock nearby, his pistol pointed out into the darkness.

“Tell these wankers to watch what they’re shooting at,” Spike said harshly as Jorge halted beside his man.

“We will,” Jorge said, speaking into his radio again. There was one last gunshot, and then silence. “Good luck.”

Buffy hefted the ax in her hand and Spike swung his onto his shoulder, striding into the narrow canyon without hesitation.

“Uh, Corporal?” she heard the ranger behind them say in confusion.

“Tell you later, Frank.”

Buffy watched the line of Spike’s back as he stalked ahead of her, his steps sure. The canyon widened into a sort of bowl open to the night air with steep sides. Someone had dropped a flashlight, and it cast a thin beam of light on the surroundings. She didn’t see any rangers and hoped they were all staying out of the way. A shower of rocks tumbled down one wall, dislodged by the huge lizard scrambling for the top of the cliff face. Spike moved in one direction and Buffy went the other, watching as the vampire carefully took aim before hurtling his ax at the creature.

It was possibly even bigger than the last one, Buffy thought as the moon lit up the beast. It was pale orange like the other lizard, but the ridge along its back was a deep red. It still had its tail, too, a long, thrashing thing that made Buffy set her mouth in a grim line as she watched it climb the wall. They’d have to watch out for that.

Spike’s ax embedded itself perfectly between the shoulder blades of the creature, making it emit a high, squealing shriek that had Buffy wincing and wishing she could cover her ears. Instead, she tightened her grip on her ax, waiting tensely. The beast dropped back to the ground, twisting around as it tried to remove the ax from its body.

Spike roared as he leapt onto its back, grasping his ax handle again as his vampire face surged forward. He struggled to pry the weapon loose as Buffy dodged the beast’s legs, sinking her own ax deep into the flesh of its tail as it swung by her. She moved as quickly as she could, but the tip of it still caught her arm. A sharp sting blazed through her bicep, but she shook it off and watched in satisfaction as the tail fell to the ground, disconnecting from the giant lizard as though it had flicked a switch. Buffy made a disgusted face at the twitching appendage before she had to roll away again, dodging giant claws.

Spike was hanging off the cliff face, his ax dripping with blood as the thing whirled to confront him, snarling. Buffy saw the vampire respond with his own fangs while she scrambled to retrieve her ax from the creature’s now-useless tail. She pulled her weapon free with a grunt, using her foot as leverage, before turning and gauging the next best way to slow it down.

One of its hind legs came down close to her, and she swung her ax towards it with both hands. It bit deeply into the hide of the beast, drawing its attention long enough for Spike to gather himself and leap from the cliff towards the creature. The graceful arc of his weapon caught the moonlight just before it embedded itself with a crunch in the neck of the creature. Hanging onto the handle of the ax, the vampire dragged its head down towards the earth, though the creature was still thrashing, its screeches echoing through the quiet night.

Buffy yanked her ax free again and tossed it to Spike, pulling a dagger out of her waistband and cautiously circling around the beast, wary of its claws.

Spike caught her weapon and swung it down next to the one still stuck in the creature’s neck with enough force to nearly sever its head. The lizard’s body gave a great shiver before it slumped to the ground and was still.

Buffy watched the thing closely, trying to catch her breath as Spike released his hold on the axes and shook off his vampire face. “Okay, love?” He reached for her arm, his face anxious. “Let me see.”

Buffy frowned to see blood seeping through the torn fabric of one of the new sweatshirts her sister had gotten her. “Dawn is going to be pissed,” she sighed.

Spike snorted. “Think that’s why she got us two of everything. She’s a smart one, our nibblet.”

Buffy winced as he pulled the cloth away from her wound, ripping the sleeve a little more so he could see it. “I’m fine,” Buffy replied, reaching for him. She lifted the front of his sweatshirt to check his previous injuries. “What about you? Did they reopen? Are you okay?”

Spike grasped her hands and pulled them out from under his shirt. “Much as I am enjoying the physical inspection, we’ve got company.” Buffy smoothed his sweatshirt back down, tipping her head back to look into his face just as a flashlight beam lit up his eyes. They were startlingly blue and staring into hers like he could see her soul. She felt her heart skip a beat.

“Spike,” she started to say, “I…”

“Holy fucking shit!” someone exclaimed behind her.

“Frank, come on, there’s a lady present.” Jorge’s voice was gently chiding.

“Did they chop off its head? What the he-uh, heck is that thing?”

Buffy turned to regard Jorge and the two rangers behind him who were staring, open-mouthed, at the dead giant lizard.

“Pāhoehoe Mo’o,” Spike said casually, before sauntering over and yanking both axes out of its neck with a sickening squishy noise. Buffy suspected he really enjoyed the disbelieving looks everyone gave him when he said the name without tripping over the unusual collection of syllables. “Should be the last of them.”

“Buffy!” A ranger Buffy recognized as the same one who’d seen her kill the first lizard behind the lodge appeared out of the darkness. “Oh man, you got this one, too? I mean, of course you did.”

Jorge sighed and gestured at the man who’d elbowed his way past his colleagues. “Buffy, this is Simmons, I don’t think you’ve officially met.”

Buffy smiled. “No, we haven’t, and actually, Spike got this one.” Spike gave the ranger a dour look before moving to stand beside her with an ax resting against each shoulder.

Simmons eyed him nervously. “Oh, uh, sure. Thanks, man.”

“Sure, mate,” Spike said, his voice flat. 

Buffy rolled her eyes. “We were glad we could help.”

“Thanks, both of you.” Jorge eyed the large carcass in front of him and then Spike speculatively.

Buffy reached out to take one of the axes from the vampire, lifting it to her shoulder and freeing one of his hands so she could thread their fingers together. “You’re welcome. Ready to go, Spike?”

Spike glanced down at her, his face softening. “Yeah, Slayer.”

“See you guys.” Buffy flashed a smile at the rangers. Simmons looked disappointed and, out of the corner of her eye, she could see Spike smirking.


	17. U-Turn

They walked back to the car in silence, though from the grip Spike had on her hand, he hadn’t forgotten what she’d said earlier about going back to Sunnydale. “Spike,” she started, coming to a stop and turning towards him just before they reached the car. She didn’t know how to explain her decision without telling him about her strange trip to the desert, but that wasn’t something she wanted to talk about in front of Dawn. Spike gazed at her expectantly, a shadow of worry flitting across his face. “I-”

A camera flash interrupted them, and Buffy blinked rapidly, trying to clear her vision. “Did you get it?” Dawn called eagerly, lowering the camera and hanging halfway out the car window. “Can I see it?”

“Yes,” Buffy said, as Spike took her ax and went to toss it into the trunk of the car along with his own. “And no.”

“Come on,” Dawn said pleadingly. “When am I ever going to get a chance to see one again?”

“Hopefully never,” Spike said, walking past Buffy and opening the passenger door for her. She slid into the car and he closed the door behind her. 

“But Yellowstone is all about learning and stuff!”

“Still no,” Buffy responded as Spike climbed behind the wheel and started the car.

“Ugh, I never get to have any fun,” Dawn complained, throwing herself back against her seat.

 Buffy turned and lifted her eyebrows.

Dawn rolled her eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh. “Most of the time,” she amended. “We’re going to stay here for a few more days before we leave for Washington, right?”

Spike remained silent, turning the car around and starting down the rutted road that led away from the springs. He glanced at Buffy, his brow furrowed, and she nervously twisted her hands in her lap. She wished she’d had time to tell him everything before informing Dawn that they were leaving. She hated that he might not understand why she had to do this.

Buffy stared at the inside of the blackened windshield, a strange feeling washing over her. How long had she been unquestioningly relying on Spike to take her side? Since Glory had appeared? Before that? Buffy let out a frustrated breath and tried to focus on the here and now. Hopefully, she’d have time to make up for her shortcomings later, if she could just explain things now.

“We’ll probably stay for another day or two,” Buffy hedged.

“That’s it?” Dawn asked in dismay. “But we haven’t even seen, like, half the stuff here!”

Spike stayed silent as they headed for the main road, steering the car around a few particularly large potholes and a tree root.

“I have to go back,” Buffy said.

Spike’s fingers clenched tightly around the steering wheel, his mouth set in a grim line.

“Go back?” Dawn asked. “Go  _back_?” She leaned partway over the front seat, letting Buffy catch a glimpse of her incredulous expression. “To Sunnydale?”

“Yes,” Buffy replied.

“But…” Dawn trailed off. “Is it the only way to keep the world from ending?” she asked, her voice small.

Spike jerked the wheel suddenly, causing the car to bounce over a particularly bad patch of road. “She doesn’t mean you, bit.”

Buffy braced herself against the dashboard and turned in her seat to face her sister. “What?” Her eyes widened. “Oh. Oh! No, Dawn. We’re going to keep you far away from Glory, I promise.”

“Then I don’t understand,” Dawn said, sounding bewildered. “Who’s going where?”

“I’m going back to Sunnydale,” Buffy said again. The words floated around in the silence of the car for a moment as they finally reached pavement and Spike turned the car towards the lodge. He was tapping his fingers on the steering wheel in a nervous rhythm. “You’re going to stay with…” Buffy glanced warily at Spike. “We’ll figure out someone for you to stay with.” 

“Are you crazy?” Dawn asked shrilly. “Spike, please tell me she’s kidding.”

The vampire shook his head. “Already told her it was a bad idea.”

“Buffy, you said we just have to stay away until the window for Glory to open the portal passes. That can’t be much longer, can it? Then it won’t matter, and we can go home, and she’ll leave us alone, right, Spike? Tell her!”

“Dawn,” Buffy sighed. “I wish it was that simple, but Glory’s never going to stop trying to get back to her dimension. The only way we can be sure you’re safe is to figure out a way to get rid of her.” 

“How?” Dawn demanded. “I mean, she’s kicked your butt, and Spike’s, and…how are you going to kill a god?”

“I’ll figure out a way,” Buffy replied, trying to inject some confidence in her voice.

Spike turned into the parking lot of the lodge as Dawn slumped back in her seat. “I don’t want to stay with anyone else. I’m coming too.”

“No,” Buffy said firmly.

“But-”

“It’s not up for discussion, Dawn.”

Dawn let out a noise of disgust as Spike parked the car, and a moment later her door slammed so hard the entire car shook. Spike got out without a word, and Buffy watched them both as they started to walk across the parking lot, feeling more alone than she had in a very long time.

Slowly, she climbed out of the car and trailed after them. She could hear them talking in low voices, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying. Dawn’s shoulders were hunched and Spike reached up to pat her back more than once. Spike lit a cigarette near the front doors of the lodge and he and Dawn stood silently as Buffy walked towards them, feeling like an intruder.

Dawn’s face was pale under the parking lot lights, and it looked like she’d been crying. Buffy’s stomach clenched uncomfortably. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Dawn, but wasn’t that why she was going back in the first place? Glory wouldn’t stop until she had the key. They could run for the rest of their lives, always looking over their shoulders until the day Glory caught up with them, or Buffy could go back and end it all now. Somehow.

“Dawn,” Buffy started.

“Don’t,” Dawn said, her chin trembling. “I’m totally mad at you right now, and I just want to go to bed.”

Buffy deflated. “Yeah, okay.”

Spike flicked his cigarette into the parking lot and blew out a lungful of smoke. “Let’s get upstairs. Need to look at that arm.”

Buffy glanced down at her injury. It was still seeping blood, but it was a pretty clean slice. A few bandages to keep it closed and a couple days to heal was all she needed. “I’m fine,” she said dully.

“Stubborn bints,” Spike grumbled under his breath. Buffy cut her eyes in his direction but he just opened the door so they could all file silently into the lobby.

 Jimmy was standing behind the desk, looking relieved. “You’re back! Did you get…it?” he asked, his eyes darting around the empty lobby.

“It’s been taken care of,” Spike told him. Dawn walked sullenly towards the stairs and Buffy followed, feeling slightly better when Spike’s hand dropped down to rest at the small of her back as she passed him, gently ushering her along.

“Thank you!” Jimmy called after them.

Silence fell again as they climbed the stairs. Buffy crossed her arms over her stomach helplessly and wished she’d kept her big mouth shut. Now Dawn was mad at her and Spike was angry and she’d ruined their whole vacation.

They reached the door to their room and, after Spike unlocked it, Dawn disappeared inside. Before Buffy could enter, she found herself pushed up against the wall next to the door. She tried to shove back, surprised, only to find her wrists trapped in Spike’s hands and pinned on either side of her head, his grip firm but not painful, presumably to keep his chip from firing. Her heart began to race as he lowered his head so they were nose to nose. “I told you I’m not ever leaving, and I meant it, Slayer. Don’t you dare try and leave me behind.”

“That’s not…” Buffy took a deep breath and pulled her hands free so she could wrap her arms around his shoulders. He tucked his face against her neck, his whole body pressed against hers, still trapping her against the wall. “It’s not that I want to, but Dawn…”

“If we’re fighting that hellbitch, she’s not getting anywhere near the bit without us knowing, and that means Dawn’s safe with anyone who’s got enough brains to keep a teenager alive.” Spike paused, pulling back and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “So, not Harris, but any of the others should do.”

Buffy smacked his chest without putting any force behind it. “Stop.”

He caught her hand and pulled it towards him, frowning at the gash on her arm. “Let’s get you fixed up.”

Buffy nodded but grasped a handful of his sweatshirt to keep him from moving away. “There’s more,” she whispered.

Spike eyed her curiously. “About Dawn?”

“About me.”

Spike cocked his head to one side, his eyes unreadable. Buffy darted a glance at the door to their room, still slightly ajar and he took a step back, pushing the door open so they could go inside. Dawn was already in her pajamas, sitting on her bed with her headphones on, a magazine in her lap, and a scowl on her face. She ignored them both.

Buffy watched as Spike gathered up their first aid supplies and followed him into the bathroom. The wound on her bicep was starting to ache dully now that the adrenaline had worn off.

The bathroom light was harsh and unforgiving, and Buffy winced when she caught sight of the bags under her eyes. Spike didn’t glance at the mirror, and Buffy wondered just how long you had to be a vampire before you stopped expecting to see your own reflection. He set out the supplies while she waited, perched on the edge of the tub like he had been the night before.

After he closed the bathroom door, Spike shucked off his sweatshirt, leaving it in a heap on the ground. His t-shirt was rucked up in the back, and she reached out to smooth it down, her fingers skating over his cool skin. Spike turned to face her, kneeling on the bathroom floor. “Let’s get this off,” he murmured, tugging on the hem of her torn sweatshirt. She slipped her arms out of the sleeves as he pulled it off, followed by her long-sleeved shirt, also shredded beyond repair. She sighed as it joined the pile of clothes in the corner destined for the trash, and shivered slightly, down to just her tank top.

Spike took her arm gently in one hand and began to wipe away the blood, destroying yet another hotel towel. “How are yours?” she asked, trying to distract from the sting of the disinfectant.  

“Fine,” Spike said, frowning at her wound.

“They didn’t reopen?”

 “I said I’m fine, Slayer.”

“You said that when you could hardly walk.”

Spike glanced up at her, his expression exasperated. Dropping the towel, he yanked off his shirt, exposing his chest with four long, pink lines of new skin across it. Buffy’s breath caught in her throat. “Happy?” he asked.

“Um, yes?” Buffy replied. She reached out with her uninjured arm and touched one of his healing gashes. Spike returned to cleaning her wound.

“What else is there?” he asked.

Buffy trailed her fingers up along his shoulder, tracing his collarbone. “Nothing, just my arm,” she said absently.

Spike lifted an eyebrow, his lips twitched up at the corners. “You said there was more, in the hall.”

“Oh, right.” Buffy felt her face heat up and dropped her hand down into her lap. Spike tossed the bloodied towel aside and picked up her hand, placing it back on his chest.

“Touch all you want, love,” he murmured. “Just talk, too.” She shivered again, though she was far from cold now. Spike started on the bandages, holding her arm steady in one hand while he worked. She slid her hand up to cup his cheek and he leaned into it for a moment before returning to his task.

“Remember when I went to the desert?” Buffy asked quietly.

“For that mystical questing thing?” She heard the frown in his voice. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Well, it worked. I saw the First Slayer. She said…she said I was full of love.”

Spike looked up at her as he placed the last bandage on her arm and Buffy found herself sliding off the edge of the tub and into his lap, straddling his hips. His fingers traced the shell of her ear. “Could have told you that myself.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his shoulder. “She said it would lead me to my gift.”

“What gift?” Spike’s arms were around her waist, and one of his hands was sneaking up the back of her shirt.

“She said…she said death was my gift.”

Spike’s hand stilled on her back. “Death is your…what the hell does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Buffy said helplessly, pressing her face against his bare skin. “I don’t know what it means. If it’s my death, or someone else’s, or something else entirely. I don’t know, Spike. But it  _sucks_. I have the worst gift ever.”

His arms tightened around her. “You’ll figure it out, kitten. You always do.”

Buffy was silent, feeling his chest occasionally rise and fall. His hands were slowly gliding up and down her back. “I’m scared,” she whispered.

Spike pressed a kiss to her temple. “You’re not dying.”

“But if-”

“No.” The vampire cut her off, pushing her back just far enough so he could look her in the eye. “It’s not happening, so stop thinking it,” he said, his voice low and fierce.

“Spike.” Buffy reached up to cradle his face in her hands. “You, of all people, know I’m not going to be around forever. I’m the Slayer. If this is what it takes to protects Dawn, then-”

He cut her off with a bruising kiss, one hand tangling in her hair as he took advantage of her surprised gasp and slipped his tongue in her mouth. She clutched his shoulders, holding him close as he thoroughly explored her mouth and shifted in his lap until she could feel his arousal pressing against her and groaned. Grinding down, she heard him growl, his chest reverberating against hers. She shuddered, wanting more, and wishing they were anywhere but a badly lit bathroom in a hotel with her sister on the other side of the door. Spike kissed his way down her throat and she tangled her fingers in his hair. “Spike?” she whispered, reluctantly tugging him to a stop.

“Buffy,” he said reverently against her skin. He nosed his way up her neck and nipped at her earlobe. “Tell me again.”

Buffy furrowed her brow in confusion, going back over what she’d just said. “That I’m the Slayer?”

Spike chuckled against her throat. “I haven’t forgotten that, love. No, the part…” He lifted his head, his eyes gleaming. “Say it again, about me being a person.”

Oh. Buffy’s heart stuttered for a second, taking in his awestruck expression. “I…” She took a steadying breath. “Of course you’re a person, Spike.”

He trembled under her. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Buffy held him close, her fingers digging into his skin as he kissed her neck, and realized that she actually did have an answer to her sister’s question from this morning.

It didn’t matter what Giles and the others thought. Even if, honestly, she’d rather face a hellgod than try and explain another vampire boyfriend to her Watcher, she couldn’t let fear hold her back from anything. Whatever happened between her and Spike, it wasn’t about her friends, or her mother’s death, or even protecting Dawn. It was about how he made her feel, how well they fit together.

Spike never hid who he was, and would never expect her to. He reveled in her strength, and never questioned her devotion to her chosen family. He was also argumentative and impatient and occasionally infuriating, but no one was perfect. What mattered was that he might be perfect for her. But she’d never know if she was too scared to try.

“Buffy?” Spike brushed the hair back from her face. “You with me?”

“Yes,” she managed, her heart pounding so hard it felt like it might burst.

“Time for a bit of kip, I think. Get that arm healed.”

“Okay,” she agreed dazedly. This was big. Really, really big. Bigger than just kissing him, even though she wouldn’t mind some more of that, too. Barely gone from Sunnydale for a week and they were…she was…oh boy, she was going to have to do a lot more talking when everyone got back. Something else the First Slayer had said floated up from the depths of her memories. Love is pain; risk the pain.

She snuck a glance at the vampire from under her eyelashes. “Are you coming to bed?”

Spike kissed the tip of her nose. “No.”

“No?” she repeated in dismay as Spike lifted her up and helped her settle on the edge of the tub again. He sighed, reaching down to adjust himself in his jeans and making Buffy blush.

“I doubt we’d be getting much sleep if I was sharing your bed, kitten.” 

Buffy’s whole body was tingling. “Oh,” she said lamely.

“I’ll go keep Jimmy company.” Spike stood up and offered her hand, hauling her up too. “See if he’s got a way for me to send a message to the others.”

Buffy frowned. “What message?”

“About watching after Dawn,” he said patiently. “I told you, you’re not going anywhere without me.”


	18. Food-Gas-Lodging

“Are you sure someone will be here?” Dawn asked for the hundredth time. She poked at the dregs of her milkshake.

Buffy smiled reassuringly. “I’m sure, Dawn. Two days is plenty of time for someone to get here.”

Spike was lounging in the booth next to Dawn, his arms across the back of the seat. He was wearing his duster again, though he’d had to promise to keep the sweatshirts Dawn had gotten him. Buffy was dying to curl up next to him, but she wasn’t sure who was coming to get her sister and the last thing she wanted was to argue about Spike with whoever showed up. She had a big enough argument on her hands about heading back to Sunnydale, and anything more would just slow them down.

According to Giles, the window during which Dawn was a handy-dandy hell dimension key would open in the next couple of days and Buffy guessed that was as good a time as any to try and defeat Glory. Maybe the hellgod would get really distracted trying to coordinate her outfit with fire and brimstone and they’d get lucky. And if it turned out Buffy was right about her deathy gift…well, hopefully that would still mean Dawn was safe.

Spike had adamantly refused to be dissuaded about going back to Sunnydale with her, and while Buffy appreciated that his stubborn streak meant she wasn’t going back to face her possible death alone, they’d had to find someone to watch out for Dawn.

So, here they were, sitting in a diner in the middle of nowhere, Utah, waiting for whoever got there first.

“They’re late,” Dawn pointed out.

“We have all night,” Buffy reminded her. “Is your stuff packed and ready to go?”

“I want to stay with you and Spike.” Dawn’s voice was low and quiet. She’d said it approximately every hour since they’d left Yellowstone, still refusing to take no for an answer.

“Dawn,” Buffy sighed wearily. “I said I’d keep you safe and that’s what I’m doing.”

Dawn snorted. “You’re just sick of having me around.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “That’s not true and you know it.” 

“You could have just asked Jimmy for another room or something. It’s not like I didn’t notice you guys were dying to be alone so you could-”

“Buffy?”

Buffy looked up, having never been more grateful for an interruption in her life. “Willow! Tara, hi!”

Willow barely looked at Spike before turning her grin on Dawn. “Dawnie! How goes the road trip?”

Dawn seemed marginally more cheerful. “Hey, Willow, pretty good.” She glared at Buffy. “Well, it  _was_  good.”

“What happened?” Willow asked Buffy, her eyes drifting to Spike. “We were super surprised by the email. I thought the two of you were going to stay with Dawn?”

“Change of plans,” Buffy said, trying to smile reassuringly at her friend. “Are you guys hungry? Here.” She stood up, grateful for a reason to sit next to Spike. “Sit, please, we’ll tell you everything.”

Willow furrowed her brow, glancing at Spike again. “Was there some kind of problem?”

Spike sipped his coffee, a bored expression on his face. Only a slight twitch in his jaw betrayed his irritation. Buffy slid into the booth beside the vampire, pressing her thigh against his until she felt him relax. “No, no problems,” she assured her friend.

Willow and Tara sat down across from them. “Really?” Willow asked, looking surprised.

“Food?” Buffy repeated, shoving a laminated menu at them and trying to tamp down her nervousness. This was the right thing to do, and Spike was the right person to bring with her, just like getting Dawn and everyone out of Sunnydale had been the right thing to do. “We already ate.”

“Um, sure, I guess,” Willow said. “This could probably count as breakfast.” She opened the menu. “Ooh, look at all the pancakes!”

Tara shot her girlfriend an amused smile before turning to Dawn. “So, Yellowstone, huh? Was it neat?”

Dawn’s face lit up. “Oh my gosh, it was so cool! How did you know that’s where we were?”

Spike lifted one eyebrow. “Other than you being a walking billboard for it?” 

Buffy bit back her smile. Dawn was wearing one of her new sweatshirts and her bright pink Yellowstone stocking cap.

Willow shot the vampire an annoyed glance. “That’s great, Dawn. Did you see Old Faithful?”

“Tons of times,” Dawn said proudly. “We stayed at the hotel right next to it, and everyone was really nice. I have this book that Cody—he works there, I mean, just for the summer he’s working there, he starts college next year in Oregon and he totally knows, like, everything about geology—anyways, he gave me this book and-”

Spike groaned, his head thumping back against the booth and Buffy patted his leg sympathetically, looking around for the waitress. Once Dawn got going it was kind of hard to stop her. Buffy really hoped Spike never cracked open the book Dawn was talking about because Cody had written his address inside of it and Buffy was pretty sure Dawn would not appreciate a book about rocks half so much if it was missing that particular page.

Tara and Willow were listening to Dawn with amused expressions, which Buffy appreciated. At least something silly like a crush on some guy who was super into rocks helped remind her friends that Dawn was way more teenage girl than a key made of mystical energy. Under the table, Spike took Buffy’s hand, sliding their palms together and linking their fingers.  

“And then there were these giant lizards called, uh…” Dawn glanced at Spike. The vampire ignored her, taking a sip of his coffee. “Spike.” Dawn nudged him impatiently with her elbow.

“Pāhoehoe Mo’o,” Spike sighed.

“Pa-what?” Willow repeated. “I’ve never heard of-”

“Yeah, those,” Dawn said, continuing her enthusiastic recap. “That Buffy and Spike killed, and then…”

“Killed them?” Willow broke in. “In a National Park?” She and Tara wore identical horrified expressions.

“They were demons!” Buffy clarified quickly, “Not, like, regular animals or anything.”

“Oh,” Willow said, relieved.

“Did have some elk blood, though,” Spike piped up at precisely the most inopportune moment. “It was delicious.”

The witches’ expressions switched right back to horrified and Buffy sighed. “Spike, please.” She felt the vampire shift beside her and gave his hand a sympathetic squeeze. “They gave it to him.”

“The elk?” Tara asked, her brow furrowed.

“Jimmy,” Dawn said, “the desk clerk.”

“Wait, why was anyone giving Spike elk blood?” Willow replied.

“Because…” Buffy sighed. “Hold on, let me explain why we’re here. We have to go soon if we’re going to make it to Nevada by sunrise.”

Willow opened her mouth, but luckily the waitress interrupted them and Tara and Willow spent the next few minutes deciding what to eat. An awkward silence descended after the waitress left. Buffy really hoped this wasn’t a glimpse into some very uncomfortable future double dates.

“Where were you guys?” Dawn between sips of her milkshake.

“Taos, in New Mexico,” Willow said, her face lighting up. “It was amazing. Tara and I met this witch whose family has been practicing for like, three hundred years.”

“We were surprised to get your message,” Tara said. She spent a long minute studying Spike before turning her attention to Buffy. “What’s going on, really?”

Buffy took a deep breath. “I have to go back to Sunnydale.” Dawn scowled at the table before slumping back in her seat.

“You said we all had to stay away until the window for using the key passes,” Willow said in puzzlement.

“I know,” Buffy said, glancing at Spike. He’d let go of her hand in favor of gripping her thigh. “And I’m not sorry we all got out of Sunnydale safely, but I can’t keep running from Glory. Who knows what she’ll do once she realizes she’s not going to be able to open the portal. But I need someone to look after Dawn, it’s too dangerous to take her back with me.”

“Oh, I get it,” Willow said, an edge to her voice. “I knew he wouldn’t be much help.” She glared at Spike. “Well, don’t worry. We can take Dawn.”

Buffy frowned. “Oh, no, Spike’s coming with me, otherwise Dawn could have stayed with him.”

“What?” Willow looked startled. “But, uh-”

“I asked him to come along, Willow, remember?” Spike’s hand was slowly creeping up her thigh. She elbowed him and he heaved a sigh, sliding it back down towards her knee. “And I’m really glad I did,” she added softly.

 Willow blinked at her. “You’re…glad? But-”

“That’s great.” Tara smiled at them, cutting Willow off. “And we’d be happy to take care of Dawn.” 

Dawn huffed a sigh and Buffy peeked around Spike at her sister. “It’s won’t be for long, Dawnie.”

“It better not be,” Dawn said darkly.

Tara smiled at Dawn. “I bet we’ll have fun. Have you ever been to Arches National Park?”

Dawn sat up straighter. “No, where’s that?”

The waitress came back at that moment, sliding a couple of plates in front of Tara and Willow before hustling off again.

Willow’s brow was furrowed as her eyes flicked from Buffy to Spike and back again. “So, you’re going back to Sunnydale.”

“Yep,” Buffy replied.

“With Spike.”

“Yep.” Buffy pushed her water glass away and dragged a finger through the condensation on the table, in an attempt to avoid her friend’s eyes.

“Why him?” Willow sounded a little hurt, and Buffy looked up worriedly.

“What do you mean?”

“Why Spike?” Willow leaned over the table. “That witch we met, she was teaching me some new spells, and I think if I just…”

“Willow,” Tara said, putting a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. “I’m sure Buffy’s thought about this.”

“We make a good team, Willow,” Buffy tried to explain. “With those lizard-things…”

“How’d you know what those were, anyways?” Willow asked. “Giles didn’t say anything when I emailed him yesterday.”

“Spike,” Dawn cut in. “He knows tons of stuff about demons.”

“Since when?” Willow said in bewilderment.

Buffy shrugged. “I guess since always? This whole trip’s been kinda surprising. Anyways, Spike knew what the lizards were, and we figured out how to kill them.”

“So, you guys all had…fun,” Willow said cautiously. “Visiting Yellowstone and, uh, killing stuff.”

“Yep!” Dawn said cheerfully, stealing some fries from Tara’s plate. “And Buffy and Spike finally-”

“Learned to get along,” Buffy finished quickly. “Look at us, with all the…the getting alongness.” She smiled brightly. The comforting weight of Spike’s hand on her leg disappeared, making her chest feel suddenly too tight. She glanced over at him, but he was glaring at his coffee cup.

Willow narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, I’m seeing it and it’s kind of freaking me out.”

“Actually, it’s been pretty great,” Dawn said blithely. “They haven’t even been fighting much, with each other, I mean, and they’ve been keeping the gross kissing to a minimum, so…” Dawn trailed off, glancing at Buffy and shoving more fries into her mouth as Buffy glared.

Tara’s eyebrows lifted to her hairline.

“ _Kissing_?” Willow repeated in disbelief. “Kissing  _Spike_?” 

“It’s not…I mean, yes, Spike, but, um…” Buffy reached over, her fingers digging into Spike’s thigh as she tried to figure out how to explain everything to her friends, feeling her face heat up.

“Easy on the goods, love,” he murmured under his breath. Buffy blushed harder and eased her grip.

“What did you do to Buffy?” Willow accused Spike. “I should have known you’d pull something like this!”

“What?” Spike’s mouth dropped open. “I didn’t do a damn thing!”

“He didn’t do anything!” Dawn cried at the same time.

“He didn’t do anything, Willow,” Buffy promised. “Look, I know it seems like a bad idea, but I swear it’s not.”

“Not a bad…he’s a vampire!” Willow hissed, gesturing across the table at Spike. “And he’s Spike!”

“Um, sweetie,” Tara started to say.

Spike scowled at Willow, then draped his arm ostentatiously across Buffy’s shoulders.

“I know who he is,” Buffy said impatiently. “But it’s just…look, things are different, Willow. I promise I’ll give you all the gory details later, but we really do have to go soon.”

Willow made a disgusted face. “I think I’ll pass on the details, but you better come up with something really good. Giles is going to flip.”

Dawn frowned at Willow. “He loves her.”

“He can’t, Dawnie,” Willow began in a tolerant voice.

“Actually, I think maybe he can,” Buffy interrupted quietly. Willow stared at her, eyes wide.

Spike stared at her too. “You do?”

Buffy gave him a tiny smile. “Yes.” The brilliant smile he gave her in return made her heart skip a beat. He leaned towards her and one hand came up to brush her hair back while his arm slipped from her shoulders to curl around her waist.

“Oh great,” Dawn said, sounding disgusted.

“Well, that doesn’t mean you have to—Buffy?” Willow asked.

Spike’s thumb traced her lower lip as Buffy took a breath and tried to remember they were in the middle of a diner with her friends and her sister. “Um, anyways.” She pulled away just before Spike kissed her, dimly registering his disappointed expression. She’d have to make it up to him later. Her heart was thumping double-time in her chest and Willow was staring at her like she’d lost her mind.

Grasping Spike’s hand, she slid out of the booth and pulled him along behind her. He threaded their fingers together, stuffing his other hand into his jacket pocket. Buffy stood for a moment by the table, trying not to think this might be the last time she’d ever see her friends and her sister. Willow was still gaping at them and Tara was looking anxiously between them and her girlfriend.

Buffy held Spike’s hand a little tighter, reminding herself that this was the best thing she could do for Dawn, and for all of them. “We should go. Watch out for Dawn?”

Tara nodded solemnly, and Dawn scrambled out of the booth to give Buffy a surprisingly fierce hug. “Be careful,” Dawn said. She cut her eyes to Spike. “You too.”

“Will do, bit.” 

“Stay safe, Dawn,” Buffy whispered back. She regarded Tara and Willow one last time. “Thank you.”

Willow nodded, her mouth set in a grim line. “Of course,” Tara replied, calmly rubbing her girlfriend’s back.

Spike squeezed Buffy’s hand. “Burning moonlight, pet. Time to go.”

Buffy turned and followed him out of the diner into the darkness. The last thing she saw as they pulled away was Dawn’s face peering out the brightly lit windows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone still reading this story! I appreciate each and every one of you, sorry I haven't updated in a while. I just realized I hadn't posted several chapters I had up on another website, so you're all caught up now, but...this is as far as the story goes. 
> 
> I hope I do come back to finish this someday, but I don't know when, or if, that'll happen. 
> 
> The good news is, you can just imagine a Spuffy roadtrip that never, ever ends. How awesome is that? 
> 
> Thanks for all the support!


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